Mrs. Read quotes from Arthur

OCTOPUS!!!

Octopus! Octopus! Octopus!!!

What the...?!

And?!

And I'm really sorry. It was just a joke!

Not a very funny 1. Now, go to your room.

And don't come out until I say so!

Feel better?

I hope an octopus eats him!

[writes invitations on the table]

What are you playing?

I'm not playing. I'm writing invitations to my birthday party.

[walks to Arthur] How do you spell "party"?

P-A-R-T-Y. Why?

I'm making invitations to my birthday party.

Your birthday is not for six months!

Yeah, but I'm gonna invite everyone. And I write slow.

[picks up the invitations]

[takes the laundry out of the washing machine, but tugs on a towel] Give me that, you little scamp!

[comes with his invitations] Mom, my invitations are all written!

Look at that dog! He's eating a towel! Arthur, your dog can't tell towels from food!

[put the invitations on the washing machine, picks up Pal and takes him to a calendar on the wall] Come on, boy! I can't wait! How many days left? One, two, three... four more days until my birthday.

I think it would be easier to teach him to use a calculator than to count.

Arthur? Are you ready to go buy party supplies?

Yeah!

[eats messily, coos, laughs]

What kind of birthday cake should I bake?

Chocolate!

(coos)

See, Arthur? Even Kate agrees with me about the plates.

Have a good day at school, honey!

And don't forget to hand out your invitations! [hands them to Arthur]

I hope everybody can come to my party!

[runs into the kitchen looking relieved] Mission accomplished!

[holds a plate of pancakes] Just in time for your favorite!

With maple syrup all the way from Ohio!

[brings a present] Happy birthday, Arthur! Guess what it is?

Uhhhh....

It's a chemistry set!

Oh, thanks.

Time for birthday kisses! [kisses Arthur on the head]

And eight birthday hugs! [hugs Arthur]

And a pinch to grow an inch! [laughs and annoyingly chases Arthur]

Mooomm!

Buster

Happy Birthday!

Hey, what's she doing here?

Buster

And here comes Francine too.

Francine

(comes running and giggles)

Am I at the right place?

Francine

It's a surprise for Muffy!

It's a surprise for all of us!

Everyone find a place to hide! Muffy will be here any minute!

Buster

What did you say in your note to Muffy?

I said, "I have a special present for you. It's so big that I can't carry it by myself. Please come to my house today at noon to get it!"

Muffy

I'm here for my present!

Surprise!

I told you your present was too big to carry.

Francine

What's a birthday party without all of your friends?

Maybe I better help you out. [hits the piñata to no avail]

(chuckle)

Muffy

This is great! We should do this every year! Thank you everybody!

Next year we'll do it at your house.

Francine

Time to open your presents! I picked this out especially for you! [gives the present to Arthur]. You have to promise me you'll use it right away!

Francine

It's a spin the bottle game.

(gasp)

Francine

Let me show you how it works. [spins the bottle. It points to Pal and he licks her face].

(laugh)

[Jane turns off the TV with the TV remote] MOM!!!

We were right in the middle!

5 more minutes?

It was just getting to the good part!

Oh, Mom! Why do I have to eat at the table?

Because you're not sick.

Ech! Spinach? How come Arthur doesn't have to eat spinach?

Because he's sick.

He's not. He's faking.

Hurry up. I'm next.

I don't feel so well.

Go on, faker.

AAAAAGGGHHH!!

What is it?

What's wrong?

Arthur has polka dots!

What is wrong with me?

It's chicken pox.

Do you get it from chickens?

No, it's just a normal childhood illness. I had it, your mom had it.

I'll call Grandma Thora and see if she can come over while we're at work. She knows all about chicken pox.

Does this mean Arthur can't go to the circus?

Well, we'll have to see.

WHAT?

Sorry, honey, but chicken pox is very contagious.

It looks like you're not going anywhere for a while. But, don't worry about it. I'll take care of you.

You're doing it all wrong!

I am not! I am not! I am not!

What's going on, you two?

Arthur's ruining the game! He's not playing right.

I am so! I roll the dice, I move around the board.

But you're supposed to be having fun. Look at the little boy on the box!

That little boy is not playing with you.

Arthur, is there another game you can play?

Yes. I'll go set it up.

Mom, Dad! I can't write a report that I played Confuse the Goose! Everyone will laugh at me.

Why don't you read a book to D.W.?

Yes, that should be quiet... eh, fun.

Mom and Dad said I don't have to play that. But I'll read to you.

Mom! Arthur said you said he didn't have to play with me!

Buster

I don't know what you can do, Arthur.

Everything around here is too boring to be in a report.

I'm ready! Hm-hm! Hm-hm! Hm-hm!

Just watch wrestling until the rain stops. How long can it rain for?

This system is very similar to a monsoon during which it rains nonstop for an entire month.

Arthur? Are you still here?

Like it would be so hard to play one game of Confuse the Goose with your adorable sister.

"Once upon a time..."

Let me guess. They lived happily ever after, right?

Right.

I knew it. Boring!

Everybody freeze!!

Arthur's trying to bite my nose.

Is that any way to treat a book?!

No. No, but she... She didn't want me reading to her!

Why don't you draw?

What did you draw?

A dog, and he's bored. What did you draw?

A stick.

A stick?

A stick from the park where you [furiously shouts] promised to take me today!!

I never promised you anything!

Did too!

Did not!

We're never gonna get anything done.

Did too!

Did not!

Ahem! Have fun at Grandma's. [smiles and closes the door]

It's raining! We'll die out here!

Come on! [pulls her away] If you'd behaved, we'd still be dry.

Me?! I didn't do anything. I'm the cute one! You're annoying.

Oh great! Now I get to write a really exciting report about visiting my grandma. "I went to my grandma's. She's nice. The end." I'm doomed!

Francine

We weren't there when Arthur did it!

I didn't do it!

Somebody did it. I want a confession. Confess! Confess!

Buster

I've reached a conclusion by discerning the truth from the eyewitness accounts. It's very simple. While we were busy, a space alien materialized. In a scientific search for samples of human food, he took the snowball and nothing else, because he left in a hurry.

Huh?! Now who left that freezer door open?

Buster

It's the only logical answer. That's why the plate is missing also.

Francine

That's crazy!

One of you took my snowball!

Francine

Why don't you just confess, Buster?

Yeah!

Buster

Me? Why don't you?!

Francine

It was probably Arthur.

Me? How could you think I would do something like that?

Whoever did it should just admit it. It's not nice to do this to a little girl.

I think you're all in on it. You're trying to break a child's heart. It's a conspiracy!

You know, someone's going to get their feelings hurt if everyone doesn't calm down.

(plays with dolls on the living room floor) This is Tiffany and this is her servant. And this is their lifeboat and these are the angry sharks... (Kate grabs Tiffany and D.W. gasps) No! I'll do the playing! You just watch me! (Both Kate and D.W. pull at the doll. The head falls off and D.W. gasps.) Aaugh!! Look what you did!

Play nicely, D.W.

But she killed Tiffany! [Kate giggles]

Here. Give that to me. This looks easy to fix. Don't worry. (She gives D.W. the fixed doll back.) Oh, there we go! Good as new! No need to get excited.

How come you're always on her side?

I'm not on anyone's side. But Kate's a baby, and you're a big girl.

[angrily] I am not a big girl, I'm a little girl! (Kate chuckles) Be quiet, you!

D.W.

You sweet, little baby-wayby! (She sees Jane leaves the room) This was mine! You can only touch it when I say so.

[concerned] D.W.?

[to Jane] No!!!

Give it back, or I'll pinch you!!!

Mama? [Jane grabs her]

I'll SMASHED alarm clock!

UAaRGh!! [drops the Tiffany doll]

[sternly] Dora Winifred Read, go to your room, and Arthur we're not smashing alarm clock in DW's room ever again!

But what did I do?

D.W., I'm trying to do my homework! And there's no such word as busalooey. If you don't stop, I'm gonna wreck the CD!

Mom!

I wouldn't have promised to bring the music to the party if I known I lost it.

Found it!

Great.

Mom! Arthur's gonna wreck my Crazy Bus!

Turn it off! I can't hear you!

Arthur?

Mom and Dad say if you touch it, then they'll adopt you to another country without TV.

D.W., wash up for dinner.

What were they thinking when they invented brothers? What a dopey idea!

D.W., are you OK?

What's the matter?

CRAZY BUS IS GONE! I LEFT IT ON THE THING AND IT'S GONE! GONE!

Well, it didn't just get up and walk away.

I know! Arthur took it!

I didn't!

Honestly, Arthur?

I didn't take it, Dad, really!

Yeah, like you didn't take my snowball out of the freezer!

Let's not start that again.

[starts to cries] Life is so unfair!

Pal, stop it!

Catherine

D.W., telephone!

Hello? I can't hear you!

We found your CD! Your father accidentally took it!

What are you doing?

Unlike you, I realized that the only way for two people to stop fighting is for one of them to say, "Stop". I'm forgiving you.

This is a trick! I know that this is a trick!!

Catherine

Aren't you happy that your Mom found your CD?

"Abraham Lincoln was the sixteenth president. He issued the Emancipation Proclamation on January 1st, 1863."

Boy, look at the size of those feet. Where'd he ever buy his shoes? Was he the only giant president?

Lincoln wasn't a giant. The statue is much larger than he was.

Wouldn't you know it? Finally something interesting, and it's a fake.

D.W., can't you please just try to relax and enjoy what's here?

Okay, Daddy. At least I'll get to see the Statue of Liberty.

Um... that's in New York, honey.

What a rip!