Mr. Read quotes from Arthur

OCTOPUS!!!

Octopus! Octopus! Octopus!!!

What the...?!

And?!

And I'm really sorry. It was just a joke!

Not a very funny 1. Now, go to your room.

And don't come out until I say so!

Feel better?

I hope an octopus eats him!

That's a very good plan! I wish I'd thought of it!

Francine and I will deliver them first thing in the morning!

[runs into the kitchen looking relieved] Mission accomplished!

[holds a plate of pancakes] Just in time for your favorite!

With maple syrup all the way from Ohio!

[brings a present] Happy birthday, Arthur! Guess what it is?

Uhhhh....

It's a chemistry set!

Oh, thanks.

Time for birthday kisses! [kisses Arthur on the head]

And eight birthday hugs! [hugs Arthur]

And a pinch to grow an inch! [laughs and annoyingly chases Arthur]

Mooomm!

Buster

Happy Birthday!

Hey, what's she doing here?

Buster

And here comes Francine too.

Francine

(comes running and giggles)

Am I at the right place?

Francine

It's a surprise for Muffy!

It's a surprise for all of us!

Everyone find a place to hide! Muffy will be here any minute!

Buster

What did you say in your note to Muffy?

I said, "I have a special present for you. It's so big that I can't carry it by myself. Please come to my house today at noon to get it!"

Muffy

I'm here for my present!

Surprise!

I told you your present was too big to carry.

Francine

What's a birthday party without all of your friends?

Maybe I better help you out. [hits the piñata to no avail]

(chuckle)

Muffy

This is great! We should do this every year! Thank you everybody!

Next year we'll do it at your house.

Francine

Time to open your presents! I picked this out especially for you! [gives the present to Arthur]. You have to promise me you'll use it right away!

Francine

It's a spin the bottle game.

(gasp)

Francine

Let me show you how it works. [spins the bottle. It points to Pal and he licks her face].

(laugh)

Hurry up. I'm next.

I don't feel so well.

Go on, faker.

AAAAAGGGHHH!!

What is it?

What's wrong?

Arthur has polka dots!

What is wrong with me?

It's chicken pox.

Do you get it from chickens?

No, it's just a normal childhood illness. I had it, your mom had it.

I'll call Grandma Thora and see if she can come over while we're at work. She knows all about chicken pox.

Does this mean Arthur can't go to the circus?

Well, we'll have to see.

WHAT?

Sorry, honey, but chicken pox is very contagious.

It looks like you're not going anywhere for a while. But, don't worry about it. I'll take care of you.

Dad, it's not fair! How come Arthur gets chicken pox and I don't?

Honey, you're lucky you're not sick. Chicken pox is no fun.

Yeah, it is! It's more fun than anything!

More fun than the circus? More fun than elephants and cotton candy and ice cream?

Of course.

Well, you have until tomorrow to decide. If you don't want to go, you can stay home with Arthur.

You're doing it all wrong!

I am not! I am not! I am not!

What's going on, you two?

Arthur's ruining the game! He's not playing right.

I am so! I roll the dice, I move around the board.

But you're supposed to be having fun. Look at the little boy on the box!

That little boy is not playing with you.

Arthur, is there another game you can play?

Yes. I'll go set it up.

Mom, Dad! I can't write a report that I played Confuse the Goose! Everyone will laugh at me.

Why don't you read a book to D.W.?

Yes, that should be quiet... eh, fun.

Mom and Dad said I don't have to play that. But I'll read to you.

Mom! Arthur said you said he didn't have to play with me!

Buster

I don't know what you can do, Arthur.

Everything around here is too boring to be in a report.

I'm ready! Hm-hm! Hm-hm! Hm-hm!

Just watch wrestling until the rain stops. How long can it rain for?

This system is very similar to a monsoon during which it rains nonstop for an entire month.

Arthur? Are you still here?

Like it would be so hard to play one game of Confuse the Goose with your adorable sister.

"Once upon a time..."

Let me guess. They lived happily ever after, right?

Right.

I knew it. Boring!

Everybody freeze!!

Arthur's trying to bite my nose.

Is that any way to treat a book?!

No. No, but she... She didn't want me reading to her!

Why don't you draw?

What did you draw?

A dog, and he's bored. What did you draw?

A stick.

A stick?

A stick from the park where you [furiously shouts] promised to take me today!!

I never promised you anything!

Did too!

Did not!

We're never gonna get anything done.

Did too!

Did not!

Ahem! Have fun at Grandma's. [smiles and closes the door]

It's raining! We'll die out here!

Come on! [pulls her away] If you'd behaved, we'd still be dry.

Me?! I didn't do anything. I'm the cute one! You're annoying.

Oh great! Now I get to write a really exciting report about visiting my grandma. "I went to my grandma's. She's nice. The end." I'm doomed!

Francine

We weren't there when Arthur did it!

I didn't do it!

Somebody did it. I want a confession. Confess! Confess!

Buster

I've reached a conclusion by discerning the truth from the eyewitness accounts. It's very simple. While we were busy, a space alien materialized. In a scientific search for samples of human food, he took the snowball and nothing else, because he left in a hurry.

Huh?! Now who left that freezer door open?

Buster

It's the only logical answer. That's why the plate is missing also.

Francine

That's crazy!

One of you took my snowball!

Francine

Why don't you just confess, Buster?

Yeah!

Buster

Me? Why don't you?!

Francine

It was probably Arthur.

Me? How could you think I would do something like that?

Whoever did it should just admit it. It's not nice to do this to a little girl.

I think you're all in on it. You're trying to break a child's heart. It's a conspiracy!

You know, someone's going to get their feelings hurt if everyone doesn't calm down.

D.W., I'm trying to do my homework! And there's no such word as busalooey. If you don't stop, I'm gonna wreck the CD!

Mom!

I wouldn't have promised to bring the music to the party if I known I lost it.

Found it!

Great.

Mom! Arthur's gonna wreck my Crazy Bus!

Turn it off! I can't hear you!

Arthur?

Mom and Dad say if you touch it, then they'll adopt you to another country without TV.

D.W., wash up for dinner.

What were they thinking when they invented brothers? What a dopey idea!

D.W., are you OK?

What's the matter?

CRAZY BUS IS GONE! I LEFT IT ON THE THING AND IT'S GONE! GONE!

Well, it didn't just get up and walk away.

I know! Arthur took it!

I didn't!

Honestly, Arthur?

I didn't take it, Dad, really!

Yeah, like you didn't take my snowball out of the freezer!

Let's not start that again.

[starts to cries] Life is so unfair!

While we're out, I expect you to be on your best behavior for Catherine.

I know you have it!

Okay?

Yes.

Good, they're gone!

"Abraham Lincoln was the sixteenth president. He issued the Emancipation Proclamation on January 1st, 1863."

Boy, look at the size of those feet. Where'd he ever buy his shoes? Was he the only giant president?

Lincoln wasn't a giant. The statue is much larger than he was.

Wouldn't you know it? Finally something interesting, and it's a fake.

D.W., can't you please just try to relax and enjoy what's here?

Okay, Daddy. At least I'll get to see the Statue of Liberty.

Um... that's in New York, honey.

What a rip!

The flag's up. That means the president is home today.

What if we meet him and become friends?

Alright!

Hey!

You beat me again, Arthur.

Yeah! Woo!

Arthur! Come on, the tour is starting. It's the last one today.

During Kennedy's administration, a permanent art collection was assembled for the White House...

I don't like this. It's full of people who make a lot of rules, and everybody's afraid of getting in trouble.

In 1948, when Harry Truman was president, the White House was found to be unsafe for occupancy.

(strains) Uh-oh.

D.W.?!

Where has she gone? D.W.!

Oh no, D.W.’s loose in the White House. We’re doomed.

It gives me great pleasure to sign the D.W. Law. It is now illegal not to own a pony.

Right on, D.W.!

(neighs)

(whispers to President)

And the national anthem has been changed to "Crazy Bus".

We’ve got to find her before she wrecks the whole country.