Denise Sherwood quotes from Army Wives

Denise

But next time, I drive.

Frank

That's fine with me. That way I get to wrap my arms around you.

Denise

I think that cold got to me more than I thought.

Ten bucks says it's walking pneumonia. Get your lungs checked.

Denise

Choi, it was a cold.

Could be a stroke set in. Let that go, you could go into septic shock.

Denise

[laughs] What is with you?

Hey, if you stroke out, I get Esposito as my partner. Please don't let that happen!

Claudia Joy

You're having a baby? Seriously?

Denise

Yup.

Claudia Joy

I don't believe it.

Denise

You? What about me?

Claudia Joy

What about Frank?

Frank

I was fine, once I came to. [shakes head] At first I thought she was joking.

Michael

So would I. You had no inkling?

Frank

[shakes head] None, none. After Jeremy was born they said Denise couldn't have more kids. [pauses] We haven't worried about birth control since.

Claudia Joy

You always said you wanted more children.

Denise

I meant twenty years ago. Talk about a late gift.

Claudia Joy

Oh, you're healthy, you're strong. This is a blessing. It's exciting.

Denise

Try terrifying. Well, you know the risks at our age. Chromosome problems, pre-eclampsia, even diabetes. I just thought I was past all this long time ago.

Claudia Joy

Having kids keeps you younger.

Frank

[horrified] Oh God. I feel old. I'm gonna be that guy sitting at a little league game with the ice cream dribbling down his chin. Other parents are gonna think I'm someone's grandpa.

Michael

[chuckles] Who cares what they think? I'd say this calls for a drink.

Frank

At nine in the morning?

Michael

It's four in the afternoon in Baghdad.

Frank

Roger that.

Denise

Don't you have anything stronger?

Claudia Joy

Not for nine months, my friend.

Denise

Oh, I just realized that I will be packing lunch boxes when I'm fifty.

Frank

Honestly, Dee. It looks like the choices are between green, green and green.

Denise

No. Pistachio, willow and julup.

Frank

Green.

Denise

It's important, Frank. The baby is going to be living with these walls.

Frank

How about black and white?

Denise

[groans and rolls her eyes] Frank.

Frank

No, I'm serious!

Denise

A nice soothing color helps the baby's development. They've done studies.

Frank

I know. And the latest research in early cognitive development suggests that high contrast actually stimulates the infant brain more.

Frank

Hey. You're not the only one that can read up on the subject.

Denise

You've been reading about babies?

Frank

Well, um, when Jeremy was born it was all just a blur. At least it was for me. This time it's going to be different.

Denise

I'm proud of you. [kisses Frank] But I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, there is no way we are painting the baby's room black and white.

Frank

Oh, hell, I could do it. I've got nothing going tomorrow night.

Roland

Hey, that's really nice Frank, but...you know, Sara Elizabeth can be a real handful these days.

Frank

Well, I admit it's been a while since I looked after a toddler but I need to get back in training. [points at a pregnant Denise] Soon.

Denise

Uh, honey, I don't think Roland wants his daughter to be used as a field exercise.

Frank

That's not what I meant. Look, we're tag-teaming. Take the first shift together, you show me the ropes. When you gotta leave I'll take over.

Denise

Roland?

Roland

Um, you know, if the Lieutenant Colonel can lead men into combat I'm sure he can look after my daughter.

Frank

I appreciate the vote of confidence. [picks up the baby bag] [Denise laughs] I'll take these into the baby's room. Thank you.

Roland

Thank you, Frank. [looks on in amusement]

Denise

[chuckles] Well, what can I tell you? My warrior has turned into Mr Mom.

Denise

The safety record's on everyone's mind. Frank won't let me talk about it either. He's nervous about passing 99 days too.

Claudia Joy

I know! I never seen Michael like this. Would be funny if he wasn't so serious!

Denise

I feel my heartburn flaring up and it just gets worse when I lay down. There's no chance I'm gonna sleep tonight so I'll just watch some TV or something and try to zone out.

Roxy

Really? We have DVDs.

Denise

No, really, it's ok. I could watch anything right now. [chuckles] I saw this infomercial last night about this egg thingy that removes dead skin from the bottom of your feet. [chuckles] I realized I can't even see my feet. [laughs and suddenly begins to cry] Oh, Roxy, what am I gonna do? Frank is gone and Jeremy is gone and I'm so tired and I'm just gonna be tired for the rest of my life. And baby's not gonna sleep for months and then she's gonna need carpool and then she'll be a teenager and she'll hate me and want to.... [chuckles] Oh god...and then she'll go to college and she'll meet a boy and she'll get married and she'll..... [worried] Oh, what if it doesn't work out and she moves back home and then....I'll hate her?? Or what if it does work out and she has babies and then I'll be a grandmother!...And then I'll have to watch them and then the babies won't sleep and then what am I gonna do?!?? [starts crying again]

Frank

My wife's having a baby. My wife's having a Molly. Her name's Molly.

[setting up mic and computer] Congratulations, sir.

Frank

[video feed shows Denise in labor, Frank cringes at Denise's groaning] Son of a bitch!

She can hear you, sir.

Frank

Oh.

Frank

[via video-conferencing] Hey! Hi, honey. Hey, Dee. You're doing great. That's it. I'm right with you, sweetheart. I'm right here with you.

Denise

[in labor] No you're not! You're 7000 miles awaayyyy!!!!

Roxy

I'd rather have a colicky baby than a crabby teenager any day.

Roland

I thought TJ was twelve.

Roxy

Yeah. He's twelve going on sixteen. I swear he suddenly woke up like a completely different person. He doesn't want to do his chores. He doesn't want to play with Finn. He stays in his room all the time.

Pamela

Well, we all know what that means.

Roxy

Oh, no! Do not even go there!

Pamela

I'm just saying you might wanna see what kind of magazines he's keeping under his mattress.

Roxy

[laughs in horror] Trust me, I do not!

Roland

That's perfectly natural. [Roxy looks at him] I'm just sayin'.

Denise

Gotta strap yourself in, Roxy. The teen years are not for the faint of heart.

Claudia Joy

No.

Denise

High drama. High stress.

Claudia Joy

The worst part? Just when things start to get better, they leave.

Denise

[about meeting Jeremy's fiancée] I don't know that "excited" is the right word. Not that I don't want to meet her. It's just...incredibly weird. I mean...I'm gonna be a mother-in-law.

Roland

Ah yes, the hyphenate that strikes fear in the hearts of women everywhere.

Pamela

And I suppose you love your mother-in-law, huh?

Roland

She never visits, she never calls, what's not to love? [gets up to leave] I gotta go home to see my wife.

Roxy

Oh, sure, rub it in. You've got someone to go home to unlike the four D's here.

Roland

"The four D's"?

Roxy

Deployed, deployed, deployed, divorced.

Tanya

[on the phone with Jeremy] She didn't like me.

Come on. I'm sure that's not true

Denise

[on the phone with Frank] I just don't like her.

Frank

Why, baby? What happened??

Tanya

Everything I said came out wrong. It was like an out-of-body experience. I wanted to yell at myself, "stop talking!"

[chuckles] You were just nervous, that's all. My mom will understand.

Denise

I don't understand. Why the rush? They hardly know each other. And they're so young! They're practically babies!

Frank

[tries to reassure her] Dee, they are hardly babies! They've been to war, seen combat.

Tanya

You'd think after living in war zone I'd be able to face anything, but no! Apparently mothers-in-law scare the crap out of me.

Your husband's a soldier. Honestly, he reminds me of Steve. Army all the way.

Denise

Yeah that's Frank.

In a way I envy them. To them, the world is black and white, right and wrong.

Denise

[nods knowingly] The good guys and the bad guys.

It's not that way though, is it?

Denise

What's going on?

Roxy

Trevor and I just had our worst fight ever. I think he wants a divorce.

Denise

Did he say that?

Roxy

Not exactly, but he's sleeping on the couch. And he said he hasn't been happy in a long time.

Denise

I'm sorry

Roxy

That fight at the bar was not a misunderstanding. The guy that Trevor punched out was Whit

Denise

Whit, your contractor?

Roxy

He's an old friend. Actually he's more than that. He's Finn's father.

Denise

Ok. Wow. And Trevor knows that?

Roxy

I needed to hire some that I could trust and that I could afford. So I called Whit. And I tried to tell Trevor but he was already so mad about the truck stop to begin with that it never got out. And now he's accusing me of lying and....and worse. I just don't know what to do.

Denise

We all make mistakes, Roxy. Believe me. Look, what I've learned is, you have to see things from your soldier's point of view. I'm not saying what you did is the same as what I did to Frank. But you hurt your husband. And you hurt your marriage and you'll have to admit that if you want to make things better. You have to honest with yourself and then you can be honest with him and hope he understands.

Frank

[playing with Molly] And down comes Daddy in his parachute. And the wind blows into the right. And the wind blows into the left. And down, down, down. [sets Molly on dressing table] Wanna do it again?

Denise

I think Daddy wants to do it again. Frank, you're a little kid yourself.

Frank

There's nothing more fun that jumpin' out of a plane in the dark.

Denise

I'll take your word for it.

Claudia Joy

Thank you all for sharing your lives with me.

Denise

For being a light in the dark

Pamela

For having my back.

Roxy

For taking me as I am.

Roland

For making this place a home.

Claudia Joy

[raises glass for a toast] To us.

To us.