Roxy LeBlanc quotes from Army Wives

Claudia Joy

[to Betty] When is your surgery?

Roxy

She's not having it.

Claudia Joy

[concerned] Why not?

Roxy

She's short three grand. I keep telling her to sell the Hump Bar, but she won't.

Betty

This place has been truer to me than any man I've ever been with, Roxy. I can't sell it. It's better we just go out together.

Claudia Joy

There has to be something we can do.

Roland

Yeah.

Betty

[shrugging] Forget it. I mean, who needs surgery? It's like putting lipstick on a pig.

Roxy

I'll always remember this day.

Trevor

Why?

Roxy

Because terrorists are trying to blow us up and we're flying a kite. [they both laugh] That would really piss them off!

Trevor

Mrs. Roxy LeBlanc, we got married at City Hall. We never had a chance to say our vows and you never got to wear a wedding dress. So here it goes. [hands her a rose] Roxy, sometimes I think I've spent most of my life asleep, not taking any chances or any risks...

Roxy

I think jumping out of an airplane is a risk.

Trevor

Shh! [smiles] You're not supposed to interrupt me!

Roxy

Sorry!

Trevor

It's one thing to jump out of an airplane. It's another to really love someone. And I met you and you made sense of me. You are who I'm fighting for. You are who I'm coming home to. [looks at Roxy] Roxy, I love you. You are the love of my life.

Roxy

[opening her front door] Weren't you just here awhile ago?

Pamela

I know. But this time I brought a medical professional.

Denise

[sliding a bottle of wine out of a paper bag as she walks through the door] This won't cure anything, but it just might make the waiting easier.

Roxy

I doubt it.

Pamela

Well, it couldn't hurt to try.

Roxy

[laughs as she walks toward the kitchen] Look at the two of you. It feels like I'm on the wrong end of an intervention.

Roxy

They're not sending you to County. I got you another week!

Betty

[in amazement] Roxy LeBlanc. What did you do?!

Roxy

I took my shirt off. And as soon as the week is over, you're moving in with me.

[looks at "Harry"] Shut up Harry! No, you're stupid!

Roxy

[comes to the bathroom door, amused] Are you and Harry at it again?

He told me to wear a tie but he can't tie one and neither can I!

Roxy

[smiles] Well, your dad can't tie a tie worth a darn either. I have to tie it for him all the time.

Roxy

[walks over] Katie, Lucas! Stop beheading your father! Hey Chase. Welcome back. Where's Pamela?

Chase

[on the ground after being tackled by Katie and Lucas] I gave her the day off.

Roxy

Uh-oh. She promised to sit these two. [points at Finn and TJ]

Chase

Between you and me, I've had easier training missions.

Roxy

Well, four is easier than two.

Chase

[mock surprise] Really?

Roxy

No! [laughs] [sends boys to Katie and Lucas] Go impale somebody! [turns to leave, to Chase] I'll pick 'em up at six. Have them laundered and dried.

Roxy

[excitedly] I know you've only got a minute so, how are you? Are you ok? Are you alive? Are you hurt in anyway at all?

Trevor

I'm good. Yes, yes, no.

Trevor

How about everybody else? They're doing all right?

Roxy

They're getting there.

Trevor

And Betty? That old bat make it through?

Betty

[walks out to the kitchen, deadpan] Bat's right here!

Trevor

[embarrassed] Oh...

Roxy

Oh, guess what? Finn's in love!

Trevor

With Betty???

Roxy

No.

Mrs. Holden

Roxy

As in Claudia Joy Holden!

Trevor

Listen.

Roxy

What?

Trevor

It's quiet. I never thought I'd miss that.

Betty

[walks in from kitchen] Welcome home, superhero.

Trevor

Hello, Betty.

Betty

[deadpan] Where's the cake?

Roxy

Would you give him a minute before you start with the wisecracks?!

Trevor

It's fine. I like that someone has a sense of humor about this whole thing. [Betty turns on the TV] Ugh...goodbye quiet.

Trevor

So when did Pamela drop off the kids?

Roxy

Last night. It was their idea. They wanted to be here when you got home. Didn't want to miss a minute.

Trevor

[amused] You left them alone with Betty? Are you crazy?

Roxy

[laughs] What! They're survivors. I'm sure they found a great place to hide.

Trevor

Hey, so, this guy here is from our motorpool. He can fix anything. Right Charlie?

Charlie

I'll admit that.

Roxy

Thank you, it's right through those doors.

And I'm here to make sure he works on it till it passes. Got your COO right here.

Roxy

[in amazement] How did you do that???

Trevor

It's the Army, babe. We take care of our own.

Roxy

Yeah, but the inspector??

Trevor

Former paratrooper.

Roxy

[heaves a huge sigh of relief] Thank you Army. I will never doubt you again!

Sandy

I wish there was a waitress box that I could just check and be done with.

Roxy

You know, sometimes I think that whoever writes these things does it with the sole intention of just turning my brain to mush.

Sandy

Well, well. Didn't know you were a maitre d' too.

Trevor

I figured that as long as I'm here I might as well help out a bit.

Sandy

That's too bad. We could use some eye candy around here.

Trevor

[to Roxy] Hey babe, that new waitress of yours, she's pretty flirty.

Roxy

She's not flirty. She's being smart. With what this job pays you, you gotta use what God gave you to get the big tips.

Sandy

It's kinda cozy in here, dontcha think?

Trevor

[looks at Sandy in disbelief] Are you serious?

Sandy

I'm just sayin'. A person can get in a lot of trouble here ya know. If they wanted to.

Trevor

[backs away from Sandy] All right. [seriously] As weird as this sounds, I'm actually in love with my wife so...just...watch it.

Sandy

[chuckles] Nothing is gonna happen. [goes up to Trevor] Unless you want it to.

Roxy

Hey! I think he just said he doesn't want it to. 'Cause I got that department covered just fine, thank you.

Sandy

Roxy, I...I was just––

Roxy

[deadpan] Leaving. That's what you were just doing. You're fired. [Trevor looks on in bemusement] And unless you want this jar of mayo on your head, I'd leave right now.

Trevor

[laughs] Babe! That was so hot!

Roxy

Thank you! [Trevor kisses her]

Trevor

Three months ago, I'm patrolling enemy territory in Iraq with Dalton. Now he's dead. And I spend all day filing things, making sure everything's all lined up. A, B, C, D...

Roxy

What?

Trevor

I'm an admin clerk, babe. [sarcastically] Thought I'd make you proud.