Sandy quotes from Army Wives

Sandy

I wish there was a waitress box that I could just check and be done with.

Roxy

You know, sometimes I think that whoever writes these things does it with the sole intention of just turning my brain to mush.

Sandy

Well, well. Didn't know you were a maitre d' too.

Trevor

I figured that as long as I'm here I might as well help out a bit.

Sandy

That's too bad. We could use some eye candy around here.

Trevor

[to Roxy] Hey babe, that new waitress of yours, she's pretty flirty.

Roxy

She's not flirty. She's being smart. With what this job pays you, you gotta use what God gave you to get the big tips.

Sandy

It's kinda cozy in here, dontcha think?

Trevor

[looks at Sandy in disbelief] Are you serious?

Sandy

I'm just sayin'. A person can get in a lot of trouble here ya know. If they wanted to.

Trevor

[backs away from Sandy] All right. [seriously] As weird as this sounds, I'm actually in love with my wife so...just...watch it.

Sandy

[chuckles] Nothing is gonna happen. [goes up to Trevor] Unless you want it to.

Roxy

Hey! I think he just said he doesn't want it to. 'Cause I got that department covered just fine, thank you.

Sandy

Roxy, I...I was just––

Roxy

[deadpan] Leaving. That's what you were just doing. You're fired. [Trevor looks on in bemusement] And unless you want this jar of mayo on your head, I'd leave right now.

Trevor

[laughs] Babe! That was so hot!

Roxy

Thank you! [Trevor kisses her]