“Pipeline Fever” · Season 2, Episode 4
In this episode: Malory Archer (5), Lana Kane (4), Pam Poovey (2), Cheryl Tunt (1), Cyril Figgis (1)
You should'a called first... this is the only airboat for fi'ty miles, and it reserved.
What do you mean, "Reserved"?
Is that not self-explanatory?
[Offering a big stack of cash] Perhaps we can work something out.
Sure, if you take that money, buy you a time machine, go back in time, and be the first person to reserve that airboat.
Thank you, certified air boat mechanic!
WOOOHOOOOOOO!!! THIS MUST BE WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH ME!
HOW CAN AN AIR BOAT BE SELFISH?!
Burt Reynolds is my spirit guide!
Did you say "man crush"?
No, I'm pretty sure it was "shut up!"
[Struggling to operate the photocopier in the new “Green” ISIS] Stupid, efficient, Canadian lightbulbs. I can barely even see what I'm doing!
What are you doing?
[Holding up a “Found Cat” poster] I need six more of these.
Why do you need seven?
One for each cat. Duh.
For god's sake, Pam! Have you no sense of decency? That bathroom's like a... a war crime.
Don't blame me, it's those new low-flow toilets! With the old ones, you could flush a dachshund puppy. [Pause] I mean, not that you would.
Lana, I really like your new hairdo.
Well, if you like the collar, you're gonna love the cuffs...
That's just great. She gets dinner and Dixieland and laid. And I get mosquitoes and no beer and... not laid. How could this get any... [alligator surfaces and growls] LET ME FINISH... worse. You ruined it. You ruined the moment.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Archer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
