You realise you're in huge trouble?
Yes, sir.
And now I have to spend my first Friday off in forever devising some bizzare punishment for you?
Yes, sir.
So don't be surprised if you end up eating a whole bunch of... spiderwebs.
“The Double Deuce” · Season 2, Episode 5
In this episode: Malory Archer (4), Woodhouse (3), Pam Poovey (1), Cyril Figgis (1)
You know tontines are illegal.
So are all kinds of shit, but look at these odds. Half the people that work here are field agents...
...who get killed in the line of duty all the time! And the control room...
...is just one great big asbestos lawsuit waitin' to happen.
Yeah, here are some more claims forms.
And how long you think this one's gonna be around?
[Indicating Cheryl/Carol, who's drinking rubber cement]
Yeah, count me in.
He might have a tiny hangover...
You want me to take a baby to a murder?
Wherever, just out of here. I have no more love left to give today.
Yeah and what is it? Two-Thirty?
RReggie
You scoundral. Is that brandy?
Oh no sir, just water.
RReggie
Water? Oh, never touched the stuff. Fish shit in it.
RReggie
Good God, man, are you hourly?
Then they gave me the VC and my papers...medical discharge.
SStinky
Because of the scalps.
Oh, for--
The what?!
SStinky
German scalps!
What?!
SStinky
Must've been fifty of 'em!
That's a lot of scalps.
SStinky
Could've made a blanket.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Archer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.