Aqua Teen Hunger Force · Season 2
You can stay with us Carl…as long as you have those pills.
Thank you, daddy
[Carl lays down on the lawn next to an ant hill]
You found it. That’s the guest bedroom. And, hey, you know, if you need to go to the bathroom, you know, just do it.
[Ants begin to cover Carl as he lies on the ground]
Shake!
Don’t mess with him, okay? He’s had a long day.
You need anything else? There’s some ants.
Gentleman! Who stole my hairairium?!
Y-Your what?
My hair helmet!
Oh, well. That's right there. On your head.
Oh....BULLSHIT!
I've got something, there's science behind this, and legend.
DO NOT DRINK THE CHOCOLATE MILK!!!!!!!!!!!
AHH. Damn Meatwad, Your Grip!
Look, there's only one way get across this street: You close your eyes and just bolt out there with complete disregard for machine.
What if I just kept one open, and maybe tried it that way?
Yeah, if you think you're going to get somewhere in life by cheating.
Yeah.
I mean you may as well paint yourself yellow, run around like a maniac, and call yourself Banana Man, cause that's what you're doing.
Hey Donna! How about shoot me in the head!??!?!
This here's my road when I's in it. And I'm in it.
Who told you that?
Master Shake.
Ahem?
Oh. CAPTAIN Master Shake.
Of?
Of Interplanetary...Traffic Safety Squad & Patrol.
Which units?
All units.
Except?
Except Jupiter and Spain, or unless otherwise noted.
Good! We're learning something here.
Now what did we learn today?
Pedestrian always has the right of way.
Yes! Except...
When you in the way.
[Feces is raining down on Carl & Master Shake from their "oil rig"]
Yeah! We're rich! Black gold, Texas tea!
Oh man. Is it supposed to stink like this?
Yeah, that's why it's called "crude" Carl.
[angrily] No it's not, we hit my septic tank, you jackass!
Oh. So you're storing extra oil in your septic tank. I'm on to you.
You're wearin my dinner!
Oh gross! You eat corn? I hate cor-(Carl tackles him)
Let me touch your hand.
I Don't know.
I'll be gentle as a lamb.
Fine. Not again.
(angrily) That works out with weights!
[Meatwad touches him] WHOA'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[after Meatwad reveals him reading a Butt Frenzy magazine in Frylock's room] He knows! He has the gift! ...but he's about to lie to you!
It's over Frylock. We lost again. Just let it go and accept the truth that we is dumb... dumb as hell.
He's right for the most part. We got us a superstar. And we got two albacores that are just hangin around my neck.
Albatrosses.
Yep. It's like the rhyme of the marinade happening all over again.
Oooh. This one's easy.
No kidding. Put down Backstreet boys.
Shh. Meatwad, be quiet.
All right, how're we doin'?
Fine.
No, we're not doing that. My eyes... are thirsty as hell. Who do you think you are?
I'm the only US President to serve 2 non-consecutive terms in the oval office.
Then that would make you Grover Cleveland and...why is this comin' out of my mouth?!
Meatwad, how many non-consecutive terms did Grover Cleveland serve?
I'm fine. Everything's fine like wine.
Why don't we just... unhook you..
I got this thing embedded in my ass!
Oh, shoot, I'm sorry about that.
What is it? It looks like an Ethiopian toilet seat.
It's just a basketball hoop.
What is this "bas-ket-ball" you speak of?
Oh, hell, I forgot to put sports on the DVD!
(scoffs) And what is this "sports" you speak of?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Aqua Teen Hunger Force pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
