Aqua Teen Hunger Force quotes

Master Shake

Well, at this point my checks have cleared, so my hands are unfortunately tied at this point. You realize I'm an action hero?! I don't have time for this crap! YES, I said crap! [Throws down the phone]

Hey, DOG! WHERE YOU AT?!

Where you at, dog?!

Master Shake

Woah! You do have molecular transporters! [The phones start hopping closer, drawing switchblades; Shake laughs nervously] Downloadable switchblades! That's a new feat-OH NO!

Hey! It's AXE Body Spray! Where are the girls?

Naw, there ain't no girls here. Can I help you, though?

[Looking uncertainly between Frylock and Meatwad] Uh, yeah. Are you the milkshake guy...?

Frylock

Uh, no. He's down there.

Gettin' his ass WHUPPED ON!

Is that gonna be long?

All NIGHT! Can I get you somethin'?

No, no, I'm good. I'm in the credits.

[reading from his prize slip] "Tonight you will get your dick ripped off." ...That doesn't sound right, does it? Here, read this.

Frylock

[reading] "Tonight you will get your dick ripped off..."

Is that a prize, or...?

Frylock

I think you might wanna go the manager about this one, Carl.

Master Shake

No, no, no, don't do that! Can't you read? He's the guy who rips it off!

So, who's gonna get their dick ripped off tonight?

[to Meatwad] Who won it little man?

'Cause someone's dick is comin' with me tonight!

Master Shake

Next door, and SHUT UP!

Frylock

Shake!

Master Shake

I'M TRYIN' TO WATCH THIS SHOW, WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP? GOD!

Frylock

(opens door for Rice Mascots as they leave) Goodbye!

Shake

[to Carl] Hey Carlina! Wow.

Oh yeah I get it. You knock me out, dress me like a woman and then take pictures of me. Laughs on me huh?

Frylock

Well you see Carl heh.. uh.. you're not just dressed like a woman.

Oh do go on please.

Frylock

Well, it's pretty simple really. I removed your dick so no one will have no need to remove it.

[Carl's crotch begins to bleed] So the giant blood stain is uh... is that me having my period I guess? He he.

Frylock

Could be. Or it could be just the spot where I snipped your dick off.

You're taking this pretty good, Carl. Kudos.

Every cup's a weiner!

One in three chance of getting your dick ripped off.

Master Shake

Ding dong, the dick is dead, Carl!

Frylock

Apparently, Carl, when you bought that medium drink, you entered a binding contract that enables them to rip off your dick.

Probably needs just a couple more dick rotors... Maybe a dick wheel or two.

Yes, Mr. Wong Burger.

And, uuhhh, do we have to fill it up with some dicks.

Yes, we go a full tank of dicks!

Full tank, good, good, good. Wall to wall dick carpeting?

Yes, you've mentioned that. Mr. Wongburger.

The dicks won't hold together, Mr. Wongburger!

We're gonna have to these dicks with something. Maybe with like, a dick.

Are you telling me that I don't know dick? If anyone knows how to build a ship out of dicks, it is me!

Yes Mr. Wong Burger.

Because I am King Dick!

Close the dick gate!

What are you doing touching my dicks?

Frylock

You can't just go running around ripping off other people's dicks, to make a giant dick ship.

I have an advanced dick-ree in dick-nology!

Frylock

You're a mad man, Wong Burger; this ship will never fly!

Well how else am I supposed to get home?

Frylock

Call someone to pick you up!

...I will.

You think, uh, maybe I could, uh, get my dick back? Oh, wait, you know what, maybe you should keep my dick...so you could, uh, hump yourself!

Master Shake

Technically, that would not be, uh, doing yourself, just for the record.

Is that it? Is that mine? 'Course it is, it's got that curve to the left.

You don't think they're... dicking around over there, do ya?

I doubt it. They're professional dick hunters. They crave dick...as we all do.

Master Shake

Hydration is essential. [sips loudly from his drink] Oh, that's good. [sips] And I need 85 [long and annoying sip] gallons of soda per day, and plus, [two annoying sips] It comes with an edible handtruck. [Nibbles on the wheel of the handtruck] The tires ny'are chocolate!