Charles Gunn quotes from Angel

Gunn

No matter what else, I think I proved that you can trust me when I could have killed you and I didn't.

Angel

No. You'll prove that I can trust you when the day comes that you have to kill me -- and you do.

Cordelia

Lemme break it down for you, Fred.

Oh, Angel, I know that I am a Slayer, and you're a vampire and it would be impossible for us to be together, but--

But... my gypsy curse sometimes prevents me from seeing the truth. Oh, Buffy...

Yes, Angel?

I love you so much, I almost forgot to brood.

And just because I sent you to Hell that one time doesn't mean that we can't just be friends.

Or possibly more?

Gasp! No! We mustn't!

Kiss me!

Bite me!

Angel

[entering] How 'bout you both bite me?

You're back!

Gunn

How'd it go?

Angel

I think those two pretty much summed it up.

Cordelia

(on Fred's invention) God, I really wish she wouldn't leave her toys laying around.

Gunn

Ooh, pretty wicked looking toy.

Wesley

I'll say. It almost looks like a spring-loaded decapitation device.

Cordelia

Or it makes toast. With her you never know.

And to think, we were wondering when to call the police on a bunch of superheroes.

Angel

Oh, I'm not really a hero.

Gunn

More like a blood-sucking fiend.

Well frankly, Angel, I don't care if you drink pig's blood, cow's blood, or those froofy little imported beers. You saved my little girl.

Angel

Well, I wouldn't have had to if she hadn't gone all Amazonian and whacked that thing with a golf club.

Well, I'll tell you. I haven't seen a stroke like that since Nicklaus took on Gary Player in the '63 - -

Bob Hope Desert Classic (laugh together like old friends)

Gunn

[playing a video game] Dead! So dead! So very, very dead. Just how dead are you, huh?

Angel

I'm tired of being the dead one.

Who's Darla?

Gunn

Angel's old flame, from way back.

Not the one who died?

Gunn

Yeah. No, not that one, the other one that died and came back to life. She's a vampire.

Do y'all have a chart or somethin'?

Gunn

In the files. I'll get it for you later.

Angel

[talking about Darla] Where is she?

Wesley

She got away.

Gunn

We tried to stop her by hitting her fists and feet with our faces.

Cordelia

Why are you looking at me like that?

Angel

Uh . . . no reason.

Cordelia

Okay. It's getting creepy now.

Angel

I was just thinking about things. People. You know, how they relate. Take you and me, for instance. We're very different. Very different. Obviously. [points at Cordy] Human, [points at self] vampire. [points at Cordy] Woman, [points at self] man... pire.

Cordelia

Has someone been putting vodka in your blood?

Angel

[chuckles] See? You're funny! And I, well I get off a good one every once in a while, but you...

Cordelia

Angel, are you trying to say you love me?

Angel

W-What?

Cordelia

I love you too.

Angel

You do? When did this...

Cordelia

[calling into Wesley's office] Angel loves me! I love him!

Angel

Oh, my God!

Cordelia

You guys love us and we love you!

[offscreen, in chorus] We love you, Angel!

Cordelia

They were all saying it earlier. Just in case this prophecy comes true and we all die. You're not gonna want a hug, are you?

Angel

[chastened] No.

Angel

What is it?

Wesley

It's - it's human.

Gunn

Human as is in humanoid? As in cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers?

Wesley

No - human as in - a boy.

Angel

Boy?

Wesley

A boy. A boy. You're carrying a boy.

Darla

Great.

Angel

Gonna have a son. I'm gonna have a son.

Guys. As fascinating as an ultra-sound image of an unborn child may appear...

Angel

Me. A father. To a son. You know what that means?

We're surrounded by vampires?

Angel

No, it's a human bo...

Angel

Oh. We are surrounded by vampires.

Angel

Darla, you might wanna join the fight.

Darla

Sorry, darling. I'm gonna have to be Switzerland and sit this one out. Now, you did say you were just gonna kill the humans, right?

Vampire

Yes, just the humans. Then we will nourish you, slice you open, wear your entrails as a belt and consume your eyeballs before we worship the miracle child.

Darla

Okay. I'm in.

Angel

Gunn, you and I can hold them off for as long as we can. The rest of you, get Darla to the car.

Darla

Oh, I'd rather stay and fight. Show these youngsters a thing or two about real carnage.

Angel

That's thoughtful, but, you know, you should go.

Charles, do you have an extra dagger I could borrow?

Gunn

This okay?

Perfect.

Angel

No my count of three. One, two...

You freaks make one move and I'll slice the miracle kid into triplets.

Cordelia

It's always the quiet ones.

Vampire

Wait!

[quietly to Darla] They don't know the knife can't hurt the baby.

Darla

[smiling] They do now. Vampires have great hearing.

Gunn

He said five minutes!

Cordelia

It's been six and a half.

Darla

It's so typical of him.

It probably wouldn't hurt to wait another minute, right? I mean, what's the worst thing that could happen in another minute? [Darla lets out a blood-curdling scream.] Ask a stupid question...

Wesley

Her water's broken. This is for real. There should be a blanket in the trunk.

Cordelia

What are we gonna do? Deliver the kid right here? Shouldn't we go somewhere?

What's keeping Angel?

Darla

Doesn't anyone wanna sit back here with me?

Cordelia

We're good.

Charles

Yeah, it's, comfy.

Darla

I promise I won't throw anyone out of the car. Not while it's moving.

It's not that we don't trust you. I mean, we don't trust you, but, the fact is, your water broke all over the back seat.

Darla

Oh.

Angel

What's going on?

Wesley

We're being attacked.

Angel

Attacked? I thought you had double protection sanctorium spells?

Lorne

I do, and they work. It's a thing with the door and the stairs and the world and a thing. Never mind!

Gunn

Apparently you can be outside and chuck stuff in.

Lorne

I just said that.

Gunn

(preparing for the assault) What are you doing?

Wesley

Trying to imagine myself as John Wayne in Rio Bravo. You?

Gunn

Austin Stoker. Assault on Precinct 13. (they high five)

Cordelia

If we live through this, trade in the DVD players and get a life.

Wesley

Connor. That's a lovely name. I don't suppose you ever considered Wesley?

No.