Wesley Wyndam-Pryce quotes from Angel

Gunn

No way. We make our own choices.

Skip

Yeah, sure. Cheese sandwich here, uh, when to floss. But the big stuff, like two vampires squeezing out a kid?

Angel

Connor.

Wesley

An impossible birth to make one possible.

Skip

That's what the kid was designed for.

Lorne

To sleep with mother love?

Angel

To create a vessel.

Skip

Look out. The monkey's thinking again.

Angel

Being inside a human makes it vulnerable, doesn't it? That's why it had to stay hidden. Why it needed to create something stronger to pour itself into.

Gunn

Wait. So the big nasty inside of Cordy is going to give birth... to itself?

Wesley

Angel, whatever you're feeling right now, it's some form of enchantment.

Angel

(looks wistful) Yeah.

(walks into the room) Well, I tried. (holds up a shirt) What do you think?

Wesley

It looks brand new.

(cries) It is. I--I bought a new one.

Wesley

Even better.

(crying) I know.

Angel

What's the matter? She'll love it.

I know, but she's not here.

Gunn

She's just upstairs.

Yes, but, when she's not around, (sobs) I hurt.

Wesley

All right, f-fine. You loved her first.

Before your kind was, my kind loved her. Stood stone on stone, built the temple. Always making ready. Ohh... But she came here.

Wesley

She? Jasmine?

Eh?

Wesley

Jasmine. That's what we call her. The... superior being that--that you loved first.

Pfah! You name her. Filthy little mice! She is the devourer... the song... the peace... the whole... and you try to name her. Work to do. [walks away, then snaps his head back to Wesley] We loved her first!

Wesley

And how does your kind define love?

Same as all bodies. Same as everywheres. Love is sacrifice.

Jasmine

It was a trial run, an early experiment to work out the bugs, so to speak. I won't make that mistake again. I know where Angel is, and I know what he's looking for. He's wasting his time.

Wesley

If you really believed that, you'd have killed us already.

Wesley

Too much trouble conquering a primitive dimension, wasn't it, Jasmine? Or whatever your name is. Must be nice for you that we have satellites to beam your message to the rest of the world.

Jasmine

You're not wrong.

Wesley

Connor, what does Jasmine eat?

Connor

What?

Wesley

The creature in the sewer. It called her the devourer. Devourer of what?

Connor

I don't know.

Wesley

Don't You? The followers she randomly chooses to come to her room. The ones she sent to meet her in the banquet hall.

Lorne

They're the banquet.

Gunn

Wait. People? She eats people?

Oh, no.

Gunn

To Serve Man. It's To Serve Man all over again.

And now she's going global.

Wesley

Jasmine was creating a slave state.

Lilah

Right, where the slaves are full of giggly joy and love. Ugh, what a nightmare.

Angel

She was eating people.

Lilah

They knew what they were getting into.

Lorne

Her stomach!?!

Gunn

Couldn't have been easy for you seeing Lilah again like that.

Wesley

Oh, yes. That was awkward, wasn't it? When you decapitate a loved one, you don't expect them to come visiting.

Lilah

What are you doing, Wesley?

Wesley

[takes a piece of paper out of the files] Standard in Perpetuity clause.

Lilah

You broke in here for my contract?

Wesley

I'm here to release you from it.

Lilah

Wesley...

Wesley

You've suffered enough! [he lights the paper on fire] I want you to find some peace.

Lilah

Gallant to the end... but I knew what I signed up for.

Wesley

It's done.

Lilah

Look in the drawer. [Wesley finds the same piece of paper in the file cabinet again, unscorched] Flames wouldn't be eternal if they actually consumed anything. But it means something that you tried.

Wesley

I'm still stuck back at, "Why on earth are we here?"

What, because we're crusaders against evil and now the law firm that represents most of the evil in the world has given us its LA branch to run however we want, probably in an attempt to corrupt, divide, or destroy us, and we all said yes in, like, 3 minutes?

Wesley

Your run-on sentences have gotten a lot less pointless

Oh, that's so sweet. And a tad condescending.

Wesley

Don't you think it's a bit unseemly, adding "Y"s to the end of people's names?

Gunn

Does that mean I have to call you "Wesle"?

Wesley

Spike!

Angel

Spike.

Harmony

Blondie Bear?

Spike

What? What?

Harmony

What the hell are you doing here, Spike?

Wesley

Harmony, please.

Gunn

This is Spike? *The* Spike?

Wait a minute. Who's...

Lorne

[calmly, to Spike] Easy, slim. Easy. No one's gonna hurt you.

Gunn

Speak for yourself, Green Jeans.

OK, would somebody please tell me who...

Wesley

William the Bloody. He's a vampire. One of the worst recorded. Second only to...

Angel

Me. But you're dead.

Harmony

Well, yeah. Who here isn't? [looks around] Besides him and him and her and... [to Lorne] What are you, again?

Spike

[lunges at Angel in game-face, but goes right through him and winds up standing in Angel's desk] Bugger.

Wesley

Did you remember a strange sensation when it released its energy?

Spike

You mean my skin and muscle burning away from the bone? Organs exploding in my chest? Eyeballs melting in their sockets? No. No memory at all thanks for asking.