Puppet Angel quotes from Angel

Do you know what you were when I was young? You were the muck at our feet! We called you the ooze that eats itself. You were pretty at night, you sparkled and you stank! You still stink of it!

Angel

Will you just shut up for once!

What!?

Angel

My God, the speechifying! Has it ever occurred to you that right now might not be the best time for when-we-were-muck stories!

Spike

All right, grandma. Give you that. Good one.

This shell... you had affection for it, for Fred.

Spike

Tons. Loved the bird.

Yet you strike at her form without sentiment.

Spike

You ain't her. I can see it. Lord knows I can smell i, and I got no problem hitting it.

You're adapting.

Spike

We do that.

Adaptation is compromise.

Spike

It's called learning. But then I guess you know everything there is to know.

When the world met me, it shuddered, groaned. It knelt at my feet.

Spike

"Dear Penthouse, I don't normally write letters like this, but—"

[punches him in the face] Illyria was all they needed to know.

Spike

Then came the Internet.

You have nothing. Your kind has pulled this domain apart. Each of you has snatched a tiny piece of it. Even those with the mightiest hordes are paupers.

Spike

The one who dies with the most toys wins, eh?

To never die, and to conquer all. That is winning.

Spike

Now, that's cheating.

Angel

[speaking in comm] Spike, talk to you for a minute?

You may go.

Spike

Yeah, great. Thanks so much.

Angel

I helped save the world, you know.

Spike

Like I haven't.

Angel

Yeah, but I've done it a lot more.

Spike

Oh, please.

Angel

Closed the Hellmouth.

Spike

I've done that.

Angel

Yeah, but you wore a necklace. You know, I helped kill the Mayor, and uhm... Jasmine.

Spike

Do those really count as saving the world?

Angel

I stopped Acathla. That saved the world.

Spike

Buffy ran you through with a sword.

Angel

Yeah, but I made her do it. Signalled her with my eyes.

Spike

She killed you. I helped her. That one counts as mine.

And you, what an honor! The great Angelus.

Angel

Actually, it's just Angel.

Ah, yes, of course. The Gypsies, they gave you your soul. The Gypsies are filthy people. [spits] And we shall speak of them no more.

You must be so lonely. Your girlfriend has become lovers with The Immortal. How unfortunate for you. And how fortunate for her.

Angel

You know The Immortal?

But of course.

Angel

Ha! I knew it. None of this is a coincidence.

Spike

Been his plan all along. Steal our head, keep us busy, and traipse off with my girl. [Angel gives him a look] Our girl.

Angel

It's a setup. You're just his lackey.

I should be so lucky. The Immortal does not need men like me to do his business. He is a wild card, a wolf removed from the pack, a stallion without, uh, the bridle.

Spike

What, are you in love with him?

No, no, no, no. Well, OK, yes. But if anything, he's more of a, uh, inspiration, a spiritual guide. Have you read his book? Is a life changer.

Angel

[whispers to Spike] I'm gettin' a little tired of Italy.

Spike

Know what you mean.

OK. No more games!

One more step, and the head gets it, hey? We are not animals. We are italiano. You give us the money, we give you the head.

You give us the money, we give you the head.

The money, the head. The money...

Angel

Yeah. We get it. [hits Spike] Money.

Spike

Hey!

Arrivederci, americanos. It was a pleasure to do the business with you.

Nina

You should get away. Vacation? You know that word? Go to Cabo, drink margaritas, midnight skinny-dipping, making love on the beach... did you catch how I subtly included myself in your little vacation package?

Angel

Nina...

Nina

Too pushy, too needy, I never even said it. You should make love on the beach all by yourself.

Nina

Plane tickets? I don't believe it. We're getting away? This is.. But thought you didn't have enough time to... Ahm, wait! There are three tickets here. We taking a chaperone? [looks closer at the tickets] My sister and Amanda?

Angel

I need you to be out of here.

Nina

It's typical. You sleep with a guy and he sends your entire family out of the country. No, wait. That's actually not that typical at all. You couldn't just.. not call?

Angel

This may come out a little pretentious, but... one of you will betray me.

Angel

Wes...

Spike

[disappointed] Oh... [enthusiastically] Can I deny you three times?

Angel

Then we're all agreed.

Spike

Yeah. We're all one big happy Manson family.

Lindsey

Believe it or not, I was actually talking about you. You don't care about being squashed like a bug?

Angel

You haven't heard a word I've said. For, like, years back.

Lindsey

Well, you get a little speechy, all right? And I breeze out. I got the Cliff Notes--honor and humanity. Absolute good. I heard it. So here's the plot twist--I'm in.

Angel

Why?

Lindsey

Everybody goes on about your soul. A vampire with a soul. Nobody ever mentions the fact that you're really a vampire with big brass testes. This is gonna be a circus. I mean, win or lose, you're about to pick the nastiest fight since mankind drop-kicked the last demon out of this dimension. And that you don't do without me. If you want me, I'm on your team.

Angel

I want you, Lindsey. [pause] Thinking about rephrasing that.

Lindsey

Yeah, think I'd be more comfortable if you did.

Let me say this as clearly as I can. You cannot beat me. I am a part of them. The Wolf, Ram, and Hart. Their strength flows through my veins. My blood is filled with their ancient power.

Angel

Can you pick out the one word there you probably shouldn't have said? [he vamps out and bites Hamilton, draining his blood] Wow. You really are full of it!

You can never beat us. We are legion. We are forever!

Angel

Looks like forever just got a hell of a lot shorter.

Spike

Boo.

Angel

Anyone else?

Spike

Not so far. You feel the heat?

Angel

It's coming.

Spike

Finally got ourselves a decent brawl.

Gunn

Damn! How'd I know the fang boys would pull through? You're lucky we're on the same side, dogs, because I was on fire tonight. My game was tight.

Spike

Supposed to wear that red stuff on the inside, Charlie-boy.

Gunn

Any word on Wes?

Wesley's dead. I'm feeling grief for him. I can't seem to control it. I wish to do more violence.

Spike

Well, wishes just happen to be horses today.

Angel

Among other things.

Gunn

Okay. You take the 30,000 on the left.

You're fading. You'll last 10 minutes at best.

Gunn

Then let's make 'em memorable.

Spike

And in terms of a plan?

Angel

We fight.

Spike

Bit more specific?

Angel

Well, personally, I kinda want to slay the dragon. Let's go to work.

Angel

So what are you looking for?

Kate

Me? I guess it depends on how many daiquiris I've had. Wow, way to come off as a drunken slut.

Angel

I know you guys have been working hard. I mean, you've been cooped up inside a lot. And to show my appreciation, I was thinking, the night being... you know... young and all, that the three of us could, well... should... you know... maybe, go out... ... you know... ... ... for fun.

Cordelia

Or we can go home.

And you can sit in the dark alone.

Angel

God yes. Thank you.