Puppet Angel quotes from Angel

Angel

We can't afford any more mistakes. Making mistakes costs money and making money right now - it's our number one priority. [Lorne enters] Hey, Lorne.

Lorne

Uh, if this is about the baby formula I snagged from the fridge last night - sorry. I was feeling a little peckish and it was that or a glass of pig's blood. By the way, baby formula and Kaluha? Not as bad as it sounds.

Angel

Lorne, I need you to use your contacts and find out what Holtz is up to. He's out there somewhere, and we can never forget that. Finding him is our number one priority.

Gunn

I thought you said...

Angel

Finding Holtz and making money are our two number one priorities.

Angel

Helping the helpless, finding Holtz, and making money are our three number one priorities.

Gunn

No, this is not Mata Hari. This is tutus and guys with their big-ass packages jumping up and down! This is just -- I will never trust you again. The trust is gone.

Cordelia

Oh, get over it. Do we get dressed up?

Angel

Of course.

Cordelia

I'm in.

Angel

Guys, seeing the ballet live, it's... it's like another world. Gunn, these guys are tight, and you're going to be tripping out.

Gunn

Don't be using my own phrases when we've lost the trust.

Cordelia

You want I should distract him? Make with the nice-nice while you slip by?

Angel

Don't be stupid. I'm that guy and the most beautiful girl I've ever seen is making eyes at me? It's either a bachelor party or a scam.

Cordelia

What did you just call me?

Angel

I'm sorry. You're not stupid.

Cordelia

No. After that.

Angel

I think I'll just have to go with my patented sudden burst of violence.

Cordelia

Hey, hold on. I think I might have an approach that is a little more subtle.

Cordelia

Hey! Do you like bribes?

Do I ever.

Cordelia

Well, we really want to go backstage.

Yeah, okay, but this isn't so much a bribe as it is a tip, and since I'm not parking your car, there's really no way--

Angel

Okay, that's how we do it.

Angel

Ask me why I'm smiling.

Cordelia

I will because it's scaring me.

Lorne

Oh, relax, crumb cake. Man, little Connor burps like a champ.

Angel

At least he's sleeping.

Lorne

Who wouldn't? With that sweet Irish lullaby you crooned. Just a hair flat on the bridge, but - more to the point - Cordelia?

Angel

What about her?

Lorne

I read you while you were singing, you big corn muffin, and uh, can't say as I blame. I mean, what a woman she's become.

Angel

You're not supposed to be reading me. Anyway, you read me wrong.

Lorne

Sorry, strudel. It's not just when you're singing. We got a little term back in Pylea. Kyrumption?

Angel

I know it.

Lorne

Okay. When two great heroes come together-

Angel

There will be no coming together, okay? Everything we've been through together and all anybody wants to talk about is...

Lorne

Can't fight Kyrumption, cinnamon buns. It's fate. It's the stars. Kyrumption is...

Angel

Stop saying that. And stop calling me pastries.

Wesley

Why can't you have sex?

Cordelia

Because I could lose my virginity.

Wesley

If you want to play it that way..

Cordelia

VISIONity. The visions. In Pylea the visions were supposed to pass on to Groo if we ever did the royal "com-shuk". How do I know that won't happen here?

Angel

Good point. You really don't.

Wesley

But your recent transformation could have changed all that. It might be possible...

Angel

Still, you know. Better safe than sorry. You're doing the right thing.

Cordelia

I know. I know. I can't risk it. It's just.. I'm so.. And he's such a.. Don't you think?

Cordelia

I mean there's got to be other things we could do to relieve the tension.

Angel

Jogging could be a thing.

Wesley

Or perhaps there's some form of paranormal prophylactic...

Angel

Cause you know, jogging...

Cordelia

I guess we could probably "com" without actually "shuk"ing.

Angel

Well, I don't know. That could be a slippery slope that.. Once you're on that.. That you could.. Slide..

Angel

I remember him being taller.

Lorne

A trick of the light. They don't actually get smaller until they're very, very old.

Angel

I didn't mean the baby.

Lorne

I know you didn't.

Angel

I meant the Groosalug.

Lorne

I know you did.

Angel

Did he seem, ah, - I don't know - short?

Lorne

Oh, absolutely. Clearly the guy shrank - all over, probably. Why, he's nothing but a muscley midget. I'm sure once Cordelia gets him home, she'll just pop him into a smallish drawer, and that will be that.

Gunn

I wanna know how he does it. No last name, no bank account. How are you ordering stuff off the web?

It's not that hard, really. All you have to do is hack into the shipping database, find someone who is ordering what you want, then substitute your information. Except that would just be high-tech robbery.

Angel

I memorized Cordelia's credit card numbers.

Oh. Low-tech robbery.

Angel

Hockey is just a great sport, greatest sport known to man!

Gunn

Dude, Hockey is the WHITEST sport known to man.

Angel

That's as may be, but the games are indoors and usually at night.

Gunn

Oh perfect for you then.

Gunn

He shoots...HE SCORES!

Angel

Yeah with no defender...

Yeah well...they're not even regulation size...

Wesley

I didn't sleep very well.

Angel

Yeah, and you look like hell. Not the fun one where they burn you with hot pokers for all eternity, but the hard core one. You know, Nixon and Britney Spears.

Lilah

Like a cat. Can't hear you. But I'm starting to feel you when you're near. Isn't that nice and creepy? How did you find me?

Angel

Your assistant.

Lilah

I'll have his arms broken.

Angel

Already taken care of.

Sahjhan

You back-stabbing, traitorous bitch. I have a lot of work to do. I can't be in every time/space at once, and here I find you drinking with my sworn enemy.

Angel

Sworn enemy? Really? Have we met? Because I don't remember swearing.

Lilah

Sahjhan, he found me.

Angel

So (glances from Lilah to Sahjhan) you all are in cahoots. Ethereal time-traveling demon, you're the screwball that brought Holtz back. How's that working out? He's not very fond of demons, is he?

Sahjhan

You will learn nothing from me.

Lilah

Other than that you're his sworn enemy, who brought Holtz back, and when that didn't work out, you came to me. Idiot.

Sahjhan

Hey! You think my life is easy? I'm jumping from one dimension to another. I don't always have sound. Sometimes it's just a visual. Saw you two sitting here all chummy.

Sahjhan

You will pay.

Angel

(Confused) For what?

Angel

You ever hear of a time-traveling demon by the name of Sahjhan?

Wesley

No.

Angel

The guy that brought Holtz here. He thinks I'm his sworn enemy. I don't know him from Adam.

Angel

I'm not interested in what you think!

Lorne

Hey, easy guys!

Angel

[About Wesley] He took my son.

Gunn

I know this is life and death. I'm just saying, let's get...

Angel

He took my son!

Gunn

You better get your damn hands off of me!

Stop it! Stop it both of you! This isn't helping, damn it! [Pushes them apart] Back off! There is only one thing that matters right now, and that is 'where is Connor?'