That bathroom is amazing. A gold toilet? And I can't believe you have a servant just to wipe your butt.
RRusty
Um, I don't...
Oh, explains the attitude and why he did such a a slapdash job.
S6 E6There Will Be Bad Blood
S6 E7The People vs. Martin Sugar
Look, it's not even my rule; it's your Dad's. You think I wouldn't want to spark up a doober every now and then? [drifts off, contently] Just take a nice, slow, extra-careful drive?
But Mom...
[to Hayley] It's okay, Hayley. I can handle it. I mean, weed's the thing I care about the most...but...maybe that should be you.
[Hayley sighs]
Thanks, Jeff! [slumps over, frustrated] MAN! You got me thinkin' about weed now. That stuff makes me want to drink so much soda! [looks off, wistfully] I smoke a bone, then I drink a two liter of Sunkist in like a second. Freaks people out...
[loudly takes a long sip of coffee while Jeff and Hayley stare, silently]
...and the number one dog on my fictitious dog list is Brian Griffin.
Brian Griffin (appears next to Stan with a martini in paw. Stares at Stan and scoffs): Uh, do I know you? (walks away)
Stop pretending I don't exist!
JJuror
Hey, it's me. I'm gonna be late. Can you TiVo Ass Rangers 4 for me? Thanks, hon. Now, put mommy on the phone.
S6 E8From Whom the Sleigh Bells Toll
[simultaneously demomstrating with a rifle] Steve, shooting a gun is like being intimate with a woman. First, you inspect it to make sure it's clean. Then you grab it on the butt and jam the magazine in. If it doesn't fit, make it.
S6 E9Fart-Break Hotel
[Steve looks back to see a painting. he walks towards it]
HEHéctor Elizondo
Bewitching, isn't she?
I know you. Weren't you the concierge in Pretty Woman?
HEHéctor Elizondo
Yes. I'm Héctor Elizondo. I play the concierge in over 400 movies and TV pilots. Acting pays the bills so I can pursue my true passion. Conciergeing.
S6 E10Stanny Boy and Frantastic
TTom
Hey, Stanny Boy! Frantastic! Get up here, the view is amazing!
Did you hear that? They gave us nicknames! The only nickname I ever got was in eighth grade. They called me Stan Frank because I was always hiding and writing in my diary.
S6 E11A Piñata Named Desire
Stan (as he bends a cross-dressed Roger over the table during the play): I'm gonna act the crap outta you!
(after Stan and Roger are arrested for public indecency)
I don't get it, they're friends again?
Told you. They just needed to f**k.
[to Stan and Roger] Yeah, you guys should just f**k and get it over with. Clearly, you have repressed sexual feelings for each other that you're channeling into hostility.
This is Sparta!
This is Sparta!
This is Sparta!
This is Sparta!
JJimmy
[off-screen] This is Sparta!
Shut up Jimmy, you don't know what we're doing!
S6 E12You Debt Your Life
Damn it, Roger. Take him to the hospital!
Franny, we've been over this. I can't take Stan to the hospital because then a doctor would save him. To restore the life debt, I have to save him.
This is crazy!!
Well I think you're crazy, see ain't that hurtful?
You son of a bitch. I'm gonna rip your fuckin' throat out!!
Oh, so it ends with you being the potty mouth so I'm hanging up.
[Francine pulls up]
Sorry things didn't work out with your new roommate, Roger.
I tell you, it's a cruel, cruel world out here. Did you know I saw a man beat down another man today for a sandwich? A sandwich, Francine. [shows a sub] This sandwich. [eats it] I wish I could just come home.
So come home. We want you there.
Stan doesn't. As far as he's concerned, the only reason I was living there was the life debt he owed me. And now it's repayed.
Forget about the life debt. Stan's too proud to admit he misses you, but I know he does. Hey! What if you offered to pay rent? Then Stan would have a perfect excuse to take you back.
You know, that could actually work. I don't mind paying a little rent. All right, I'm coming home! [throws the sub at a pedestrian] Hi, kids.
(Roger meets Andy Dick)
Oh my God, another fey, pansexual, alcoholic non-human! I've been replaced!
(Roger is staying in the locker room of a YMCA)
I got your message that you were staying here? Roger, this YMCA stopped renting out rooms, like, 30 years ago.
What? I just put up all my pictures. (shows Francine photos of him dressed as a pigtailed, redheaded girl riding and playing with a horse)
Oh, I wish you and Stan could just patch things up.
It's too late. (sits on the locker room bench next to a man facing his locker and wearing a towel): I've been replaced! (sobs)
(The man next to him turns around and Roger uses the corner of his towel to wipe his tears. Roger gets a look at the man's crotch)
Roger (suggestively): Good for you.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's American Dad! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.