Snot, remember that time I gave you half an orange?
Well, then let me put a firecracker up your ass!
[later]
No, I don't remember you remember you giving me half an orange, so no, you can't.
Why does everybody hate me so much?!
Hey, guess what? I'm flame retardant.
Can I blow you up with firecrackers?
[We see Roger wearing a daredevil outfit and sitting on a heap of fireworks]
I will now recklessly blow up my cousin, Roger.
[Lindsey Coolidge loosens one of her buttons]
For good measure, I'm gonna set the whole thing off with this. The Finger Blaster.
フィンガーブラスターほど女の子を夢中にさせるものはありません。[Japanese to English translation: Nothing gets a girl going quite like a Finger Blaster.]
[Steve lights the Finger Blaster; it explodes in his hand due to a quick-burning fuse]
Ah! My thumb! I blew off my thumb!
We're gonna get in trouble! Ruuuuun!
[Steve is clutching his hand and squirming in pain]
Okay, golden opportunity. Say "Charlie, they took my thumb." [beat] Eric Roberts, Pope of Greenwich Village. You're a lot of fun.
It's time to change my entire life. That's what that recurring dream's been trying to tell me. The one where I'm in that creepy classroom.
[drops mug] What? I didn't drop that mug because you mentioned that dream.
That dream is a warning. Society's trying to brainwash me to conform, to color inside the lines, to get married and have babies. Well I'm not drinking the Kool-Aid anymore.
Have you tried it with Splenda?
[Hayley holds Stan at gunpoint]
Okay Hayley, I give up. This whole thing was my fault anyway. You were on your own path to happieness, and if killing me will put you back on that path then go ahead. Just know that I love you and I always will. You're my little girl. Now, if you still feel you can pull that trigger-
[Hayley shoots him]
[lays on the bed, posing] Hey killer, how was the kill? You need to wash the blood off your hands? Or better yet, don't.
Well... I didn't actually kill anyone. I tri--
[Hastily, crawling into bed] Ya know I'm tired, I have a headache, I've got a lot of work to do, my back hurts, it's that time of the month, I have an early meeting. **[Under the covers we hear the sound of something vibrating] Just... sharpening... my... pencils!**The part in asteriks is a DVD-exclusive scene and does not air when shown on FOX, Cartoon Network, TBS, or local network syndication.
BLBad Larry
I'm glad to be your first. And I...shall become...more powerful...THAN YOU COULD POSSIBLY IMAGINE! [dies]
What did he mean by that?
Eh, who cares, he's dead.
RRay
[gives Stan a corn-dog] I know it's just a corn-dog, but you'll never forget it. [exits as Stan eats the corn-dog, then reappears in the background] Where'd I park my car?
Stan [upon seeing Lily's "husband" Al, actually a woman named Alison]: You know, I love long hair on a man. Grown-up Jesus had long hair, but His breasts weren't as luscious as your -- HOLY [bleep], YOU'RE A WOMAN!
