American Dad! quotes
527 total quotesFrancine: Hayley, why don't you say grace?
Hayley: I'll pass.
Steve: Come on, you pray all the time when Jeff comes over. "Oh God! Oh God!"
Stan: [clearly not understanding or ignoring the innuendo] Yes, yes, she's very devout.
Hayley: I'll pass.
Steve: Come on, you pray all the time when Jeff comes over. "Oh God! Oh God!"
Stan: [clearly not understanding or ignoring the innuendo] Yes, yes, she's very devout.
Francine: Hey, Linda. Wanna go to that art auction?
Linda: We can't. It's our biweekly puzzle night. We are this close to finishing that covered bridge.
Francine: But wouldn't it be fun to mix it up a little?
Linda: You're right. Let's do the rest of the puzzle without looking at the box! Flying blind! Whoo!
Linda: We can't. It's our biweekly puzzle night. We are this close to finishing that covered bridge.
Francine: But wouldn't it be fun to mix it up a little?
Linda: You're right. Let's do the rest of the puzzle without looking at the box! Flying blind! Whoo!
Francine: Honey, maybe you and Rashad would like to go play.
Steve: Mom, he's like eight years old. I'm not a little kid anymore. My childhood died on July 18 2003. The day Kobe Bean Bryant was charged with sexual assault.
Francine: Steve-
Steve: Why was he even in Colorado in the first place? Black man don't go to Colorado.
Steve: Mom, he's like eight years old. I'm not a little kid anymore. My childhood died on July 18 2003. The day Kobe Bean Bryant was charged with sexual assault.
Francine: Steve-
Steve: Why was he even in Colorado in the first place? Black man don't go to Colorado.
Francine: How's everyone's French toast?
Stan: Smelly and ungrateful. But this American toast is delicious!
Stan: Smelly and ungrateful. But this American toast is delicious!
Francine: I don't get it, they're friends again?
Hayley: Told you. They just needed to f**k.
Hayley: Told you. They just needed to f**k.
Francine: I feel like we're in a rut.
Stan: A good rut, like 200 years of democracy or a bad rut, like UNICEF?
Stan: A good rut, like 200 years of democracy or a bad rut, like UNICEF?
Francine: I know about the government storage center, Stan. I'm having a baby.
Stan: No! (Francine maces Stan) My eyes! (His head hits the door where Francine exits) My mouth! (His back hits the bathroom door) My back! (He opens his eyes to see his dead plant) My begonia! (His hand presses the alarm clock, playing music) My Sharona! (His back hits the TV, turning it on)
Julia Roberts: ...marry me?
Stan: "My Best Friend's Wedding"! (Shields his eyes) Ahh, my eyes again!
Stan: No! (Francine maces Stan) My eyes! (His head hits the door where Francine exits) My mouth! (His back hits the bathroom door) My back! (He opens his eyes to see his dead plant) My begonia! (His hand presses the alarm clock, playing music) My Sharona! (His back hits the TV, turning it on)
Julia Roberts: ...marry me?
Stan: "My Best Friend's Wedding"! (Shields his eyes) Ahh, my eyes again!
Francine: I may be blonde with great cans, but I'm pretty smart when I've had my eight hours.
Francine: I was finally making friends, Stan. How could you ruin my party?
Stan: It was easy. I just yelled "Terrorists!" and everyone ran away.
[Francine frowns at him]
Stan: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you asked how did I ruin your party. And I'm, like, "You were there, baby. You had a front-row seat."
Stan: It was easy. I just yelled "Terrorists!" and everyone ran away.
[Francine frowns at him]
Stan: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you asked how did I ruin your party. And I'm, like, "You were there, baby. You had a front-row seat."
Francine: I will not be a worn-out ho having breakfast for dinner with an abusive Persian. I lived that life and Stan saved me from it.
Francine: I'm not ready for Steve to make the change. He's gonna have man breath, and his poops won't smell good anymore.
Francine: I'm starting a new family tradition of Sunday night dinners.
Klaus: Wunderbar!... Wait. Only four place settings? No, that's cool. That's cool. I'm-I'm supposed to hang with my chick anyway. She's been buggin' me to spend more time with her and she... [sad voice] doesn't exist.
Klaus: Wunderbar!... Wait. Only four place settings? No, that's cool. That's cool. I'm-I'm supposed to hang with my chick anyway. She's been buggin' me to spend more time with her and she... [sad voice] doesn't exist.
Francine: In 1st grade, they sent me home with lice. My parents said "Oh, 'cause she has lice. She has it for runch everyday." I can say it, you can't.
Francine: It's just a CIA carnival. Why are we folding napkins?
Stan: Because they'll be food and my boss likes to wipe his mouth on swans. [Roger places a human-folded napkin with a ball-like attached to its foot] What the hell is this?
Roger: Metrosexual soccer icon David Beckham. I can't do swans, I dunno why.
Stan: Because they'll be food and my boss likes to wipe his mouth on swans. [Roger places a human-folded napkin with a ball-like attached to its foot] What the hell is this?
Roger: Metrosexual soccer icon David Beckham. I can't do swans, I dunno why.
Francine: It's potluck, so bring whatever you want.
Stan: But not smallpox. Ha, kidding. Kinda joking but not really!
Stan: But not smallpox. Ha, kidding. Kinda joking but not really!