SStan
[to the tune of Drunken Sailor]
“Oedipal Panties” · Season 3, Episode 11
In this episode: Stan Smith (6), Francine Smith (3), Roger (2), Hayley Smith (1)
What do you do when your mom's unhappy?
Jerry left her feeling crappy,
Sing her a shanty nice and snappy,
Wash her in the bathtub.
[Francine joins Roger at the door, smiling smugly as Roger continues to look on in horror]
Wash, wash, wash your V-J,
Scrub, scrub, scrub your V-J,
Rinse, rinse, rinse your V-J,
Next, we'll do your tushie.
Wash, wash, wash, your tushie,
Scrub, scrub, scrub your tushie,
Rinse, rinse, rinse your tushie,
We just did your tushie.
[a shaken Roger is sitting on the couch, holding a drink and covered in towels]
I told you it was complicated.
No, no, no, changing planes at O'Hare is complicated. Th-this is... th-this is just... Frannie, what is this?
BBetty
I don't understand. We had such a good time on our first two dates. Then we were at the movies. He went to get popcorn and never came back. I had to watch the whole thing by myself. Adam Sandler had a remote control, I didn't know what was happening.
Francine, my mother is not manipulating me. Our relationship is completely normal. And if you keep upsetting me, then I'll have to retreat to my safe place between her breasts.
Too close to my mother?! How dare you! I'm all she's got!
Yeah, Francine, it's the man's mother, for God's sake! What is wrong with her?
But you were the one who said we should talk to him!
Yeah, about the possibility of switching from cable to dish! I didn't know I was gonna get dragged into your psychodrama! I vote dish, by the way.
[as Stan and Francine are making out]
Oh Stan, don't ever put your bike on the front of the bus.
Don't worry, the bus is for foreigners.
[Francine has discovered that Stan has been abducting his mother's boyfriends]
Francine, I can explain: [voice changes to a whiny tone] she's my mommy!
[Stan is trying to merge into traffic with the lane ahead of him blocked off]
Excuse me. Trying to merge. Not trying to get ahead of anybody, just merging. [driver honks at him] This isn't a contest, fuck you! Fine, I'll take the shoulder! [he knocks over some traffic cones only to find a construction worker and his truck in the way] Excuse me, trying to merge, I'm just trying to-- fuck you!
He's an unregistered visitor.
[gasps] You mean an illegal alien?
What happened to the land of the free? These people have the right to be here.
People? They're parasites sucking on the rich blood of America. And we need that blood to shed for oil.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's American Dad! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.