Larry Van Halen quotes from All That

"You’re gonna slapped with a fish—"

I’m not giving you any money! This game doesn’t make any sense!

[host of the severely misnamed game show Simplicity] "How many eggs are in a dozen?"

[Sergelen] "12!"

"Hey! What was that?!"

"You got the answer wrong. So you got slapped in the face with a largemouth spotted bass!"

"But…a dozen is 12."

"But, in Round 6, all the answers are supposed to be divided by 6, so the correct answer is 2. Linda?"

[Reece Caddell] "9."

"Why me? The correct answer was 2."

"That’s because you are in Round 6. Linda is in Round 3 . The rules are pretty clear, Larry."

[to Larry] "What are you not understanding?"

"A lot!"

"It's time for the world's easiest game show, Simplicity! And here's your host, Dell Devine!"

"Welcome to Simplicity, the simplest game show in the whole world. Let's meet our contestants for today. From East Dakota, Linda Schnutzenberger."

"Hi!"

"And from Dallas, Canada...Larry Van Halen!"

"Whuh-sup?"

"Let's play Simplicity. The rules are simple. I'll ask a question. If you know the answer, press one green button and two red ones. If you don't know the answer, pull the lever and honk the horn. But if you hear this sound..."

"...push a blue button, wait three seconds, then twist the purple knob. Whatever you do, do not touch the kazoo. Everybody ready?"

"Ready..."

"NO..."

"First question. What sport is played with a basketball?"

"Basketball!"

"That is correct!"

"Yes!"

"But you forgot to ring a bell."

"What bell?"

"Basketball."

"Correct! Linda wins Round 1!"

"But, she didn't ring a bell."

"Yes, Larry. That's because after one contestant answers incorrectly, the other contestant can answer if they're eating a 12-foot party sub."

"And now, it's time for Round 6!"

"Wha--Round 6? Can we go over the rules again?"

"No...next question. How many eggs are in a dozen?"

"Twelve."

"Hey! What was that?!"

"You got the answer wrong. So you got slapped in the face with a large-mouthed spotted bass!"

"But...a dozen is twelve."

"But, in Round 6, all the answers are supposed to be divided by six, so the correct answer is two. Linda?"

"Nine."

"You're gonna get slapped with a fish--"

"Why me?! The right answer was two!"

"That's because you are in Round 6. Linda is in Round 3. The rules are pretty clear, Larry."

"What are you not understanding?"

"A lot!"

And, since Linda won that round…Larry, you get kicked by two bears!

Oh; you know what that sound means!

Lightning Round!

I have no idea!

It’s the Lightning Round!

Peanut butter! Snorkel! Sub! Refrigerator! Kansas!

Fireman?

Lightning?!

Yes; it’s the “Lightning Round”. I don’t know how I could make this any easier, Larry.

Okay, okay, okay. I think…I think I just want to end this game now.

And, we’re out of time! Linda is our winner, and has won a lifetime supply of anything she wants!

Yay! This game was so simple.

Right? And, Larry…you owe us $800. You can pay the bears.