[ALF comes in the house, injured, and wonders his life would be without the Tanners]
Oh, holy-owned subsidiary. You think your shin hurts, Wilco. Take a gander at the knot on my noggin.
Will you please pass the hearts of palm, father?
Certainly, son.
Thank you.
Did the temperature just drop in here? And how did you get Brian to eat hearts of palm?
Save room for the crème brûlée everyone.
Oh, I, for one, certainly will.
Well, excuse me for bleeding. [leaves the dining room] What is this, freeze out the reckless alien?
What a lot of food. There's certainly going to be a lot left.
We wouldn't have any leftovers if we had a dog.
Right. We'd eat the dog in one sitting. Ha ha! Isn't anyone going to get repulsed? Come on Tanners, talk to me.
They can't seem to hear you, ALF.
[screams] Help! Help! There's a stranger in the house! I've been unveiled!
They can't see me, either.
Willie! Uh, uh, grease fire! Grease fire! Funny, that usually gets a big reaction.
Believe me now.
No, I don't believe any of this, who are you?
My name is Bob, I'm your guardian angel.
Right, I'm the Easter alien.
Well, I don't have all day. Are you ready?
Ready for what?
To start your new life. I'm here to grant you the wish you made this morning.
You got me a date with Sheena Easton?
Do you recall these words, "I wish that i had a different life"?
I never said that.
Alright, I'm paraphrasing. If you must know your exact words. [reading a note] Sometimes I wish that I'd never come here. I wish, I wish-" Bonk. Y-Bonk? Oh, yes. That's when the mallet hit you. Now, do you remember saying that?
I say so many things. I'm a scorpio you know.
Well, your wish has been granted. History has been revised, and your life with the Tanners never happened. Well, we better be going.
Yeah. Ok, fine. Just give me a minute to say good-bye. Alright, I give up. You made your point. Tell the guy from Ghost-O-Gram over there to go home.
It's no use, ALF. They can't see you. If you don't believe me, look in the mirror. [he and ALF look at the Tanners eating dinner in the mirror]
Strange. I thought I broke that mirror.
Look again.
It is broken! I don't see our reflections! Eek! We're vampires!
No, we're not vampires. We don't cast reflections because we don't exist in this place.
Well, if I don't exist, these poor people must be miserable.
You know, our lives have turned out better than I ever dreamed would have been possible.
I agree. We have 2 wonderful kids, a comfortable income, this great house with no aliens living in it.
You made them say that.
No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.
Did not.
Did to.
Nuh-Uh.
Uh-Huh.
Oh, by the way, thanks again for the maserati.
Our pleasure.
Is it ok if I give Julie my porsche?
Sure, honey.
Thanks. It's her birthday and I forgot to get her a card.
Ok, so they've got a little more money.
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