Thank you, thank you. And welcome to the 2nd Annual Tanner Invitational Croquet Tournament. [everyone cheers] Ok. Introducing the defending champions, Lynn and Brian Tanner.
Whoo!
Alright! And the challengers, Kate and, of course, Willie Tanner. Boo! Hiss! Murder the bums!
I thought referees were supposed to be impartial.
[blows whistle] That's it. Mouthing off.
You're out of here.
I think we need a referee with at least a nodding acquaintance with the rules. Now, see here. Croquet happened to be Melmac's biggest sport. Only there it was called muck sucking.
ALF!
Hey, I didn't name it. Is it played the same?
Exactly.
Except you need and Bob Eubanks. Oh, oh. And the swing was slightly different. Here, I'll show you. Block me, Willie.
[gets knocked down after ALF hits him] Uhh!
Willie!
Ohh! [groaning]
Now you see why it was called muck sucking.
Lynn, help me get your dad in the house.
Put him on the couch.
I'll have a look at him there.
Stay away from me!
I just want to help.
I just want to be a safe distance from you. If there is such a place. [he, Kate, and Lynn leave the backyard]
Guess it's just you and me, you little muck sucker.
I don't want to play with you, ALF. You're too dangerous. [leaves]
Oh, what a day. First, I broke Willie's windshield, then I broke Willie's power saw. Now I broke Willie. Sometimes I think the Tanners would be better off without me. Sometimes I wish I'd never come here. [throws croquet stick up in the air] I wish, I wish, [the croquet stick hits himself knocking him unconscious] I wish I could figure out this thing called gravity. [falls down to the ground]
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