Well, what it quarrels down to is, we got to take a closer look at our bills.
[pops up] Hey. What's going on in here?
We're having a family meeting.
Oh, I get it. Freeze out the alien. I guess I'm not part of the family.
ALF, we thought you were watching The Three Stooges.
I turned it off. Somehow I just can't buy Shemp as a surgeon.
Curley was a senator once.
True. And Mo was speaker of the house.
Could we put it off with the stooge talk here for a minute.
Certainly. [mumbles and laughs]
We'd like to get back to our meeting.
Oh yeah, the one I wasn't invited too.
It's about, it's about our family budget.
What did you think I was going to do? Dominate the conversation? Be a nuisance?
No ALF, nobody thought---
Throw out a lot of useless suggestions, interrupt everybody!!?
Never let anyone get a word in edgewise!!?
ALF, you can come to the meeting.
No thanks. [ducks down from the window]
Let's just take a look at our electric bill for example it's 3 times what it used to be.
Maybe it's the porch light you leave on every time I go out.
And we've been keeping the thermostat down to 70.
And I turn off the dryer as soon as I wake up.
Well, we're just going. The, the dryer? What do you mean turn off the dryer? Why, why would you even turn it on?
To keep me company at night. Why? Is 8 hours too long?
What if I just leave it on delicates?
Leave it off. Now, let's get back to the rest of our money problems.
No chance of your getting a better job I suppose.
I like my job. The money's fine. Who made this call to Munich? Munich, Germany?
Munich? That has to be a mistake.
Remember the vacuum cleaner I broke?
Well, the repair place said they couldn't get the chicken salad out of the impeller blade and they had to send it to Germany for an overhaul.
That doesn't explain why you'd call Germany.
Hey, I believe in following things through.
Let's move on to another problem. Food.
I'm gonna go get some cookies. [he gets up and gets some cookies]
I don't think that all of us are aware how much food costs.
We're all out of macaroons. All we got are chocolate chips.
Let alone how much food is being consumed for that matter.
[while eating] Is something wrong?
You're eating all our food!
I'm beginning to realize what this is all about. The fingers are being pointed in the direction of the furry visitor. You think I'm a parasite!
No one thinks you're a parasite.
Well, freeloader's closer.
That's what you called him last week!
Let's just settle on parasite and move on.
Fine. If you want me, I'll be in my room. Not wasting money. [walks off]
Chores, fine for the Beaver but not exactly tycoon territory. Ah, I've gotta find a way to earn money now. But how? Looking for a way to earn money now? Call this toll-free number. Opportunity knocks. [he dials the phone] Well, hello! Yeah, uh, when do I start? Huh? Oh, oh, ALF. My name is ALF. Yeah. Have I earned any money yet? What do you mean I have to sell something first? Alright, fine. Send it here and I'll sell it. Uh, 167 Hemdale. It's a beige house. You can't miss it. Yeah, great. Oh, oh, wait a minute. Before I forget. One more question. What am I gonna be selling?
[as she sees ALF with a package] ALF, what are you doing with cosmetics?
Huh? Oh, didn't I tell you? I got a job. I'm a Terry Faith girl.
I thought you were an alien.
Why can't I have the best of both worlds?
But, ALF, how can you sell Terry Faith cosmetics?
Lynn, honey, I know exactly what you're gonna say. I can't do the public number, right? Ha! Well, just send that worry packing. I make it all happen over the phone.
But don't you have to know something about makeup before you can sell it?
That's the great thing about this company. They welcome ignorance. Have you ever had a Terry Faith facial?
Can't say that I have. You don't know anything about this stuff.
Honey, honey, that's why we have this book. "The Wonderful World Of Terry Faith Cosmetics." Let's check it out here. Here we go. [reads the book] "Terry Faith was born outside of Dayton, Ohio at a bend in the road near the turn of the century."
What does it says about how to give a facial?
Don't you wanna hear about the early years?
Let's skip to the facial part.
Here we go. "Chapter I, the facial part." Here, hold this. Let's see here. This must be the stuff. Come on, Lynn, get down here. Let's give it a shot. It says apply liberally to customer's face and neck. What do you think?
[while putting makeup on Lynn] Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah. Yeah, here it's going on real smooth.
Okay. Okay, apply liberally.
Alright, that's what I'm doing. Alright. Alright. Here we go. I'm applying it. Okay. Good. Okay. Good. Now, uh, now for cheek color I think Terry suggests something like, uh Evening Lobster.
Not yet, not yet. Now, I want you to suck in those cheeks real tight. Like this. Superb. Let's do this. Here we go. Oh, oh, yeah. Yeah.
