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A character in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

LMD Coulson II quotes from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

16 quotes · page 1 of 2

In 16 of the 679 quotes from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Most scenes with: Daisy Johnson (9), Sousa (5), Jemma Simmons (4)

Scenes with LMD Coulson II 16

[Simmons has brought Mack, Daisy, Yo-Yo, Deke, and a comatose May onto Zephyr One. They realize that they had jumped to 1931]

I would say I need a drink but those are illegal now, aren't they?

Are there any other bombshells you want to drop, Agent Simmons?

Yes. There is one. We have a problem that Fitz and I could not solve, but Enoch provided a possible solution. The Chronicom Hunters have Fury's Black Box as well as centuries of anthropological research to pull from. Our team needs an expert in S.H.I.E.L.D. history to have a chance of stopping them, to even know what the Hunters might target. I would ask May her opinion, but she's out of commission for the time being. The rest of us could vote, but truthfully, this decision should be left up to him. And he has already voiced his opposition to anything like this. He has all of his own memories and has been upgraded with complete knowledge of everything he's missed. He has Chronicom hardware, which makes him our most advanced LMD. And there is no better person to be your right hand, sir.

Simmons...

I was deeply against it at first but the more I thought about it, the more I think he'd understand. I believe it's the right thing to do. And frankly, I miss him. So what do you think?

He would want us to consider the ramifications.

[Daisy presses a button. A door opens revealing an LMD of Coulson]

LCLMD Coulson II

Hey, guys.

That's what I'm worried about. The butterfly effect. Just us being here, walking down the street, we could've already changed the course of events.

Yeah, the butterfly effect is just one aspect of the multiverse branch theory. Personally, I subscribe to the Time-Stream idea.

Let me guess. That's the one that lets you do whatever you want.

Okay. Imagine time as a stream, right? And we were sticks that were thrown into it. The water, it... it moves us... it moves around us.

LCLMD Coulson II

But it ends up in the same place.

Right. Now, too many sticks thrown in and that will create what's called a dam, and... and that'll change the direction of the water forever, and that's bad. So as long as we can avoid that, we should be able to splash around a little bit and we're all good.

Okay, I know where this is going. Agent Shaw, you will not be filing any patents. Is that understood?

LCLMD Coulson II

The new gang. They're after Freddy.

EHErnest Hazard Koenig

Oh, applesauce. He's a nobody.

LCLMD Coulson II

He's a target. Give me a reason.

They're not after his dad's money. When old man Malick jumped out that window, his debts were paid.

What did you just call him?

LCLMD Coulson II

His full name. What is it?

Wilfred Malick. Why?

Wilfred Malick. As in father of Gideon Malick? Future head of Hydra in America?

LCLMD Coulson II

If the Chronicoms kill Malick, then Hydra is stamped out before it ever takes hold and S.H.I.E.L.D. is never formed.

So you're saying, to save S.H.I.E.L.D...

LCLMD Coulson II

We have to save Hydra.

LCLMD Coulson II

If Hydra doesn't form, then S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't form in response.

Well, because it doesn't have to. I mean, think about all the future lives we'll save if there's no Freddy Malick.

LCLMD Coulson II

We can't disrupt the timeline. If we take out Malick, something even worse could rise up in his place.

But then we'll just deal with it when we get back, right?

To a future we won't recognize... Killing Malick was the Chronicoms' intent. They do know the consequences.

And we'll only know what happens if he lives. None of this is pretty.

But why does it have to be a live-or-die situation? Can't we stay here awhile, uh, be a good influence for him, change his heart?

Technically, that would still be killing the historic Malick, who...

Has no heart.

[Simmons wants to run tests on a drop of green liquid that she found]

I need some alcohol. 90 proof or better.

I like the way this bird sings.

I'm a biochemist, not a bird. I also need some salt, some cork, something made with silver. Let's hope it's not what I fear.

[After testing]

I know what it is. By heating the compound inside an alcohol-based solution, I was able to produce a decomposition reaction, separating and isolating...

Whoa, cut... cut... cut to the chase. I'd like to get this package before Christmas.

The compound is part of a formula that first appeared in Germany during World War II.

D... During World War II? I think you're half-cocked from the moonshine.

It was synthesized by a German scientist named Abraham Erskine.

LCLMD Coulson II

I don't like where this is going.

And first used by a man named Johann Schmidt.

The Red Skull.

Freddy Malick is about to deliver the key ingredient used to create the Super Soldier Serum.

You give a name like that to your juice, it better have a helluva kick.

LCLMD Coulson II

You have no idea.

If we don't stop him, he's gonna build up Hydra and create the Red Skull.

LCLMD Coulson II

He already did. We can't fix the mistakes of the past.

Why not?

I'm beginning to think you people are crazy. Hydra? Red Skull? Super Soldier Serum? Sounds like something out of the funny papers.

Yeah, well, there's nothing funny about it.

LCLMD Coulson II

We can't stop it.

Yes, we can.

LCLMD Coulson II

I mean we shouldn't. I'm sorry.

With all due respect, it's not your call to make. Mack is the Director, and he doesn't have all the information.

[Interrogating a woman from Hydra]

Now that I know what you are, I will ask you one more time. Where is Freddy gonna end up?

WWoman

On the right side of history. You can't stop progress.

LCLMD Coulson II

We don't want to stop anything. We just want to find our friends.

WWoman

Well, then you can go to Hell.

Wait. Wait. I know where that is. I've been there.

I'm sure you have.

No, no. Hell's Harbor. Where the double-crossers go to double-cross the double-crossers.

[Speaking to LMD Coulson II] Getting to the bottom of this may be difficult. If the Chronicoms have infiltrated, they would all look and act exactly like this.

LCLMD Coulson II

Okay, but now you're just trafficking in stereotypes.

Well, I mean, perhaps. But until a more diverse population goes into STEM fields, I'm afraid... any one of them could easily be mistaken for a Chronicom.

LCLMD Coulson II

True, but we don't have to test if they're Chronicoms. We just have to test if they're human. All we have to do is trigger an emotional response.

[Speaking to the group of scientists in front of them]

[Speaking quickly holding up three fingers] How many fingers am I holding up? Nope, you're wrong...

S1Scientist #1

You didn't give me a chance...

It was two fingers. Thank you.

LCLMD Coulson II

John Wayne. Bit overrated, don't you think? I mean, you're rugged, you're on a horse... who cares?

S2Scientist #2

Who cares? Who cares about John Wayne? America cares.

[In tears] She couldn't stay with Rick. She had to go with Victor. Haven't you ever made a sacrifice for someone you love?

S3Scientist #3

Yes.

LCLMD Coulson II

How does it make you feel when I say the word "moist"? [Pause] Moist.

S4Scientist #4

P-Please stop.

LCLMD Coulson II

Moist.

LCLMD Coulson II

[Narrating in a film noir parody] Fate. I don't believe in it. But I know history. I know how the story goes. And when it's playing out right in front of you, it feels like you can't escape it. That fate's gonna catch up to you, tap you on the shoulder, whisper in your ear that your time's up.

[Cut to Sousa confronting someone]

I thought I shook you. [He is shot]

LCLMD Coulson II

And then your story ends. Sometimes the hero has to die, and there's nothing you can do about it. That day started in a fog. My circuits were crossed up. Color had bled from the world, and I could hear my thoughts pinging around my head.

[LMD Coulson II is posing as a scientist]

LCLMD Coulson II

The agent's life... must be exciting.

It fills the days. Lot of threats out there.

LCLMD Coulson II

Russians.

And others. Lying low, biding time. I take it science doesn't leave much time for a personal life either.

LCLMD Coulson II

I don't follow.

No ring on your finger.

LCLMD Coulson II

There was someone. I couldn't stick around long enough to make it last. How 'bout you?

Similar story.

It's easier to let a bad man live than to let a good man die.

LCLMD Coulson II

That's catchy, and I wish I'd said it, but Agent Sousa's sacrifice was an inspiration to others in S.H.I.E.L.D.

Like yours was for the Avengers.

LCLMD Coulson II

Well, let's not oversell it.

[After waking from being shot with an ICEr, Sousa sees a S.H.I.E.L.D. logo on the wall and realizes the team's affiliation]

S.H.I.E.L.D.

LCLMD Coulson II

Future S.H.I.E.L.D. We're in a fight against body-snatching robots from another planet who want to wipe us out and take the Earth. The melting man you saw was one of them.

Why didn't you lead with that?

LCLMD Coulson II

Do I really have to answer?

You'd be surprised what I've seen.

LCLMD Coulson II

I sort of doubt that.

[The team is now in 1973. Sousa emerges from a clothing store still wearing his suit from 1955]

What happened to blending in?

I just don't understand the functional appeal of those... elephant... pants.

You mean the bell-bottoms?

Sure. How do people in your time function with all the extra fabric around their feet?

LCLMD Coulson II

I got news for you. This isn't actually our time period.

Well, fortunately, there's unfashionable squares in every decade, so you are... set.

And nobody seems to look you in the eye now.

Wait 'til they all get cellphones.

So, I was thinking, how do you guys know I was supposed to die in 1955?

LCLMD Coulson II

It's in the history books.

Yeah, but... but what if you always plucked me out of time? Does that mean I always survive? And if we end up in your present, will we even be in the same timeline?

I'd stop thinking about it. Your brains will spill out.

No. Is that... Little Ricky?

LCLMD Coulson II

If by "Little Ricky" you mean General Rick Stoner, then yes. He's top brass at S.H.I.E.L.D. You knew him?

Yeah. I remember when he was an enlistee. Poor kid couldn't tell a mag from a clip.

SStoner

Alright, thank you. Thank you for coming. Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to thank all of you for being here today. I know that you are all excited to, uh, kick off S.H.I.E.L.D.'s next phase in global security. So please welcome the man responsible, my boss and our friend, Wilfred Malick.

Freddy's still alive.

FFreddy

Thanks, General. So good to be here. I got my start working in this gin joint, long before it was a S.H.I.E.L.D. asset. Look how far we've come. From hiding underground, keeping vigilant watch, to having eyes in the sky, ensuring the Earth's safety. Using targeting satellites and pinpoint laser telemetry, S.H.I.E.L.D. will now be able to neutralize hostiles anywhere in the world before they pose a threat.

This sound familiar to you?

LCLMD Coulson II

Yeah. Sounds like Hydra's 40 years ahead of schedule.

FFreddy

I present to you... Project Insight.

So, these folks are secretly squids.

LCLMD Coulson II

No, just a few at the top are Hydra. Most are loyal S.H.I.E.L.D., like Stoner.

[LMD Coulson II, May, Daisy, and Sousa are fleeing Chronicoms when they see a car pull up]

Come with me if you want to continue to exist!

Enoch, you're here.

Yes. As I have been for the last 40 years. Now buckle up.

LCLMD Coulson II

Sorry we left you behind, thanks for the lift, and sweet ride.

Thank you. Consumer Reports gave this vehicle a five-star safety rating, and its fuel economy is best in class.

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