Lance Hunter quotes from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Hunter

So that's what this is about; you guys don't want Coulson in charge. I'll be the first to admit the guy's not perfect. Sometimes chews with his mouth open, tends to hog the mic on karaoke night. But other than that, he's not so bad really.

Hunter

I really should stretch before running.

Skye

I'm really sorry, tough to lose people you care about.

Lance Hunter

Secret to that - don't get attached.

Skye

Tried that. Didn't work. For you either.

Hunter

You know, you remind me a bit of Izzy. Raw but sharp, you've got skills. Probably could earn you some real money in the private sector.

Skye

As a mercenary? Yeah, I don't think so.

Hunter

We prefer the term private military contractors. Don't knock it, everyone needs an exit strategy eventually.

Skye

Not me. S.H.I.E.L.D.'s my life now.

Hunter

S.H.I.E.L.D. isn't a life, it's just a job, means to an end. Remember that.

May

In the field you need to maintain control, whatever the situation: hostages, bombs about to go off.

Skye

So what you're saying is what I just did was puny and sad?

May

61 beats per minute, consistent the whole time. Not that puny. Speaking of not puny... here, I want you to get used to this, it's a sniper rifle.

Hunter

Pardon me, just one quick question, you went to S.H.I.E.L.D. academy, right?

May

You didn't. If you did, you would've known better than to shoot us.

Hunter

Apology number 470: I am very sorry Agent May...

May

Don't be sorry. Just wait.

Uh, we were just having a little wager, so did you...?

Skye

Go to the academy? Yeah, no.

Mack

Alright, well have fun with the inventory and remember: Koenig likes them neat.

Hunter

May shot me.

Trip

Man. I wanted to be the one.

Skye

Hey, at least you got away from your ex. The guy I had a crush on is now the psycho living in our basement.

Mack

You know, I wish I could relate, but all my exes are awesome [grins].

Hunter

Is that right? I seem to remember an entire year where you had to pretend you liked quinoa.

Mack

Oh, yeah... that was a dark time.

Skye

Have you been drinking?

Hunter

I was working. Had to maintain my cover.

Skye

Your cover as what? Ron Burgundy?

Hunter

Bobbi?

Bobbi

Hey, Hunter. Nice suit.

Hunter

"Nice suit"? Really? That's what you're leading with? [pause] What did you do to your hair?

Bobbi

Ever heard of "undercover"?

Hunter

I prefer you blonde.

Bobbi

Well, I didn't do it for you. Two seconds in, there's already a tone.

Hunter

Th-this isn't a tone, this is my speaking voice when I'm upset with an unreasonable person!

Trip

[chuckling, to May] What's the deal there?

May

Hunter ever tell you stories about his she-Devil ex-wife?

Trip

All the time. [He looks at Bobbi. May nods] Damn.

Hunter

Subtlety is key.

Bobbi

You were dressed like a cowboy.

Hunter

Doesn't matter what I ask. I can't trust the answer.

Bobbi

Write that sentence down, hand it to your therapist.

Bobbi

Will you never trust me?

Hunter

But I'll never stop wanting to.

Simmons

Skye is my friend. She's different.

Fitz

Oh, yeah. Like I was your friend, and then I changed. How did you handle that?

Mack

Uh, t-the point is, secrets don't help any of us. Skye should have just come clean.

Fitz

What, and risked being locked up, studied, or who know what else? No, I wouldn't let her.

Simmons

Oh, you wouldn't let her.

Mack

We could have handled her in a way that could have kept everybody safe.

Morse

It wasn't fair to us, Fitz. We had a right to know.

Fitz

A right to know. What - is that the same way that Sif and the Kree had the right to know?

Hunter

I think the situation is a bit different, mate.

Fitz

No, you would have done to her exactly what they wanted to.

Simmons

You don't know that!

Fitz

Yes, I do know that! They would - you would - you'd "handle her"! Mack just said! Like, uh... like Skye's something to be locked up in a cage somewhere. We should be protecting her.

Mack

No, Fitz. We're the ones that need the protection from her.

Mack

You were right. For a while there, it all went to hell. It was bad. But now Bobbi and I work for an organization, an outlier that came out of the wreckage from what Fury left.

Hunter

What organization, Mack? Who the hell are you working for?

Mack

S.H.I.E.L.D. The real S.H.I.E.L.D.

You must be Lance Hunter.

Hunter

And you must be crazy.

Coulson

What's that?

Hunter

You offered me a permanent position. Consider that my contract. So, what's the plan, boss?