Fitz quotes from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Fitz

[to Skye] You're the least supportive pretend girlfriend I've ever had.

Fitz

I feel like a Dark Ages blacksmith looking at Tesla.

Fitz

Jemma, it's me. Don't turn around. Just play it cool. I've missed you so much. You know, I spent six months locked up in an off-the-books military prison—not to mention 80 years frozen in space—all just hoping to find you, and here you are. You know, I realized something. The universe can't stop us. 'Cause we've crossed galaxies. We've traveled through time. We've survived the bottom of the Atlantic just so we could be together. Now, a love like that, that's stronger than any curse. And you and I, we are unstoppable together. I, I don't want to live another day without you. So, Jemma Simmons, will you marry me?

Fitz

I came to see the Destroyer fight, not some ancient... has-been.

Are you mental? I did explain what I meant using the Queen's bloody English!

Ward

I use normal English. Words like "duck" and "run" and "might blow us to pieces."

Fitz

Congratulations, Agent Ward, you managed to string three words together in a sentence.

Ward

... I call, and raise a hundred.

Fitz

Do you know how I'm gonna beat you?

Ward

By losing?

Fitz

You have a tell. A psychological tick that lets me know you're bluffing. If I watch you carefully ... [Louder, into his earpiece] If I watch you carefully ...

Skye

Oh, sorry. One minute. [Grabs the eye-spy x-ray glasses] You know that if I do this, I'll not only see Ward's cards, I'll see you without any clothes on?

Fitz

... I fold, you win. [Leaves]

Fitz

[Upset] was doing just fine tucked away in a safe, indoor, non-mobile lab at the academy! Then you had to go and drag us into this flying circus! Didn’t even pass our field assessments, for God’s sake!

Simmons

[Also upset] Oh, please, as if I forced you to follow me anywhere.

Fitz

You said, and I quote… [Mocking her voice] “Oh, Fitz, it’s the most perfect opportunity for us to see the world! We’d be fools to pass this one up!”

Simmons

I hate it when you use that voice. That’s not even how I sound. And you were just afraid of going into the field.

Fitz

I was not afraid.

Simmons

And don’t you dare act like these last months haven’t been the highlight of your entire pasty life!

Fitz

Pasty? Oh, really? Well, when did you become so sun kissed? Because I’m pretty sure that every minute of every day you’ve been stuck in a lab right beside me. At the academy, at sci-ops, this plane, you’ve been beside me the whole damn time! [Pause, scared] You have to fix this.

Simmons

Sir, I know the protocol in these circumstances, but could you please tell my dad first? I just think my mum would take it better if it comes from him.

Coulson

We’re not there yet, there’s still time.

Simmons

Sir, please. Would you mind if I had a brief moment alone with Fitz?

May

Come on, let’s go.

Fitz

We’ll try again. The electrostatic pulse from the third rat seemed much less, so we’re making progress. If we can calibrate the antiserum…

Simmons

Antiserum, yes. You finally got it right, Fitz. [Conks him on the head] I’m so sorry.

I need a two man team to sneak over the border, find the device, and disarm it within the next 48 hours. And you have two people who fit my bill.

May

Ready to go.

Ward

I was in Georgia when the incursion occurred. I still have contacts on the other side of the border.

And you'll need them. But, we don't have specs on the device, so I need someone on your team who can recognize and dismantle it on sight.

Ward

...Do you mean...

Coulson

I think she does...

Fitz

I found a localized EMP, plus a few other party favors. [The door closes when the cart's halfway through] Oh, come on. What the... Open. It's stuck. [Coulson, Ward, and May arrive] The cart's stuck. [Fitz pulls open the door and turns back to the front of the cart] That's unbelieveable. [The door closes again] WHAT THE HELL?! Who designed this?! In the Hub, of all places! [He shoves the cart out the door, which closes on him.] Oh, that's... [Door closes, cutting off his voice. But he can be seen saying "fantastic".]

Ward

...Seriously?

Ward

[disables an enemy and sees more arriving] Fitz! More Border Patrol!

Fitz

ALREADY MOVING!!! HURRY UP!!!

Fitz

[surprised after kicking a bad guy in the face] I just did that.

Ward

[equally surprised] Yeah...

Fitz

Let's go.

Fitz

This is gonna take a while.

Ward

You have ten minutes.

Fitz

I thought you'd say five.

Fitz

No! You do not touch that! Two semesters minimum of holographic engineering before you touch this!

Skye

All right, All right. I get it. I didn't go to your stupid S.H.I.E.L.D. Hogwarts or whatever.

Fitz

Is science and technology what you imagined, Agent Ward?

Ward

Yep. No uniforms, no rope course, no defined muscularity on anyone.

Fitz

No marching in place, no I.Q.s in double digits.

It's true what the other guys say - you are the smartest person to come through here.

Fitz

Is that what they say? Yeah? Well, Simmons is probably smarter, technically, but that - that's just because she likes homework more than life itself.