Phil Coulson quotes from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Skye

What can I do? And don't you dare say "nothing" or tell me to sit down here and count ceiling tiles while Ward is missing.

Coulson

Ward's got drop boxes and storage lockers all over the world. They're filled with currency, weapons, ID's. He's gonna use aliases, cash, anything to keep Lorelei off the radar. You're the best radar we have. Find them.

Coulson

Fury would bury you for this.

Probably. Instead, he'll just have to roll over in his grave.

Coulson

You really believe all that crap spreading death and destruction?

I wouldn't say I'm a true believer. Let's just say I felt the wind changing direction and swung my sail.

Coulson

Skye, please tell me something good.

Skye

We have internet.

Coulson

Yay! And boy, have I lowered my expectations.

Coulson

Fury sent us these coordinates for a reason.

May

And what reason is that?

Coulson

[Losing control of his rage] I don't know, May! I don't know! There's got to be something here! This means something! This has to mean something! The world needs us! HYDRA is out there! We cannot let them win! We– we cannot let them define us! Do you understand that? We are not agents of nothing! We are agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., and that still carries weight! It– It has to carry weight! After everything we've been through, THAT CARRIES WEIGHT!!!!

Coulson

[to Talbot] If I come out, will you shoot me? 'Cause then I won't come out.

Hold your fire, soldiers.

Wow. I can’t believe he shot Lola.

Coulson

I can’t talk about it.

Coulson

We have no authority to do this. We're no longer S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. We're...

Fitz

We're vigilantes.

Coulson

I was gonna say, "doing this because it's the right thing to do," but... yeah.

Coulson

Skye, Trip, get ready for a large file transfer.

Skye

How large?

Coulson

Backup isn't coming. It will be just the four of us. We'll be out-manned and outgunned, but Fury always said a man can accomplish anything when he realizes he's a part of something bigger. A team of people that share that conviction can change the world. So what do you say? Are you ready to change the world?

May

No. I'm ready to kick some ass.

Coulson

That works, too.

Fury. Well, hell. When was the last time anyone saw a tag team wrestling match with four dead guys?

Coulson

I only see one dead guy in here.

Oh, the power's all on this side of the room, fellas. Phil, I'm surprised you'd try and stop me. Course, I don't blame you, Nick. You haven't seen the big picture. The big bang. The timeless frozen ocean, but Phil here has. We share a bond. We're blood brothers.

You didn't tell me he'd gone this crazy.

Coulson

He's really stepped it up a notch.

There's a reason why they say, "Cut off the head." Now, I'll be unsto- :[Coulson vaporizes Garrett with the 0-8-4 from Peru.]

Coulson

Hey, guys. I found it. I told you it'd be in here.

Coulson

You've said in your numerous public appearances that you have a facility where you're storing the technology and prisoners captured in the S.H.I.E.L.D. raids, yes?

Yeah, I'm flattered you keep up with my press.

Coulson

Right now we have more important problems. A five-alarm fire otherwise known as Lance Hunter.

Skye

Is he...?

Coulson

Captured. But if he talks, our entire operation's compromised. We'll have to burn the base and evacuate. I know, and we've just retiled the bathrooms.

Skye

I know you're the boss and you have to compartmentalize everything, but it's not healthy. You need to loosen up. Try yoga or something.

Coulson

I tried it, but I'm really not flexible.