A character in Abbott Elementary
Played by Janelle James
Abbott Elementary · 136 quotes
4th most-quoted character in Abbott Elementary: in 31 of its 136 quotes
Most scenes with: Janine Teagues (14), Gregory Eddie (10), Melissa Schemmenti (8)
Gritty! Oh!
AvaAin't he cool? Look at him picking that belly-button lint. Celebrities! They're just like us.
Gritty! My man! Your mom doing all right?
(squeaks)
I get it now. I'm not not a fan.
(squeaks)
[final lines]
Ava, have you seen a... Is this you?
AvaOh. That must have fell in there by mistake. Mind your business.
What you looking for?
Uh, I lost something.
AvaWhat? Your sense of style? Ha ha! Up top!
No.
AvaYou a hater.
What'd you lose?
Uh, it was a shawl that was in my classroom. It was my warmest one. I am so cold. [CHUCKLES]
You think someone took it?
Who would just take a shawl?
AvaWell, sounds like you got it all out. I'll see you in an hour.
Oh, no. Wait. I think, um ... I think I might, uh ... I don't think I'm gonna be able to come in today.
AvaSo dramatic. Next time, start with that.
Look, I have a binder I keep for subs. It has ev...
AvaVenus, call in a sub for Ms. Teagues' class. Preferably male. 6'2 ", 6'3" in boots. A Gregory Eddie type. Headshots if you got 'em.
Ava, there's a county-wide sub shortage. It was in the memo the district sent last week.
AvaWhat? I have no record of that.
It says, "Attention Principal Coleman. Urgent. Must Read."
AvaThey all say that.
What was that?
Nothing.
Did I see your last name on it?
It's a flier for my dad's landscaping company.
Aww. Uh, is that your brother?
No, I'm actually an only child, but apparently appearing to be a family business help: bring in customers.
That's... Sorry, so your... Your dad, he hired an actor to play his son instead of just asking you?
Yeah.
I think I'm confused.
You're not.
AvaWell, he fine. Can I have your fake brother's real number? I'd like to climb that family tree.
Single-file line, most flammable kids first, and remember... no running!
AvaEverybody out! This is a real fire in the teachers' lounge! This is a real fire! This is not a drill! Hootie-hoo!
Wait, Ava, where are you going?!
AvaI'm protecting my peace. The firefighters are almost here. Y'all got it!
Okay, real fire.
Um, okay, um... A-Alright, two, three, four, five.
You guys up. Turn that way.
They're not all bad.
I think they're cool.
AvaMnh.
I actually like them this year.
Shocking.
AvaI don't know. I feel like they've been unequivocally and universally worse than they've ever been. From unhelpful to unbearable.
Good morning, Abbott Elementary!
Ava! Your needed in the gym!
Yeah, there's a bunch of teachers in there saying Princeton's better than Harvard.
AvaOH HELL NO!
[Ava runs out of the office.]
Okay, we have like two minutes so can you please fill us in on the rest of this genius plan?
Ava said she stopped listening to the Town Women.
City Girls.
But I know there's one song she cannot resist. Jacob, whip out the Walkman.
Phone.
Open up Napster.
Spotify.
Jesus, close your ears. Come on.
[Ava runs into the gym.]
AvaPrinceton is the Temple University of the Ivies!
Now Mr. Johnson!
Let go of your butts!
[The lights turn on and Juvenile's "Back That Azz Up" starts playing with Ava dancing]
Mm.
Melissa and Captain Robinson: Childhood.
Nah, but this is a real problem.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, absolutely. Where did you even get a cigarette?
AvaYeah, what you, a French child?
The guy around the corner sold it to me for a dollar.
AvaA dollar? Inflation is crazy. But you are in big trouble, because cigarettes are banned.
Not on any of the signs I saw.
What?
It just seems like most drugs aren't that bad.
Fine, you can smoke a little! Just don't do opioids.
[Everyone shakes their head in disagreement]
My grandfather is on opioids.
Drugs from a doctor are okay.
My mom's on Valtrex.
That's fine, your mom has herpes.
HEY!
AvaLady, are you high?!
As you all know, my fellowship at the district is coming to an end.
AvaOoh, girl, don't remind me. My doomsday countdown clock is set to the day that you're back.
Stop.
AvaWe all know the real reason you came back is to see Questlove.
Ava, Questlove is not coming here.
AvaAva Fest, on the other hand, is going to be special. I just have to come up with a way to take it over the top. A way to make it unhinged.
Have you ever tried just being hinged?
Hey, quick question: Um, what's the deal with all the cameras?
AvaWe have, like, a Vanderpump thing going on. Don't worry about it.
No! No. I don't think so. I know quite a bit about filming and consent and I think I'll be spending my time on the other side of the camera, thank you very much.
AvaI hate bosses. That’s why I became a principal, so I don’t have any.
You have bosses.
AvaPoint to them.
I’m working on upgrading the routers and putting in range extenders. Although, it seems like your router is already in great shape.
AvaEverything about me is.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Abbott Elementary pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
