Ava Coleman quotes from Abbott Elementary

Ava

Ooh, ooh.

Ava

I have an exciting announcement, Abbott. Today is the long-anticipated return of one of our faves, cinnamon buns in the cafeteria.

Ava

Last but not least.

Ava

Look, I gotta listen to y'all complain all damn day. "We want books. We want paper towels in the classroom."

Ava

Fire, y’all! Head towards the exits. The plot of Fahrenheit 451 is upon us!

Ava

It's really a great name.

Ava

Happy birthday, Janine!

"Failure is a feeling long before it becomes an actual result."

Ava

Mm. I know that's right.

Can I have a break?

Ava

No, keep reading. It's just getting good.

Barbara

Mnh-mnh-mnh. Absolutely not. Let's go.

Ava

Come on, Barbara. You owe me an Audible membership.

Ava

Hey, girl.

Janine

Hey, Ava. You know I can't just leave my classroom unattended like this, right?

Ava

It's five minutes. It's not like something could go wrong in five minutes.

Janine

A lot can go wrong, actually.

Ava

If you say so. Anyway, one of Melissa's students will be transferring into your class.

Janine

Really? Why?

Ava

Girl, I don't know. Things happen all day. Maybe she wants to be closer to the bathroom. Maybe she like you more. Maybe she got some kind of Meek Mill-Drake feud going on with one of her classmates. I don't know.

Janine

Maybe she likes me better.

Janine

That is Ava. She's funny.

Well, I'm so excited to be here. I cannot wait to collaborate.

Janine

Okay, let me go show you around. Come on.

Ava

Pulling off overalls? That's not easy.

Janine

Hey!

Melissa

Oh. I-I got... I got a conflict.

Janine

You don't know what it is yet. My class is putting on a step show next Friday. We made so much progress.

Barbara

Oh, we hear you in there, stomping the yard.

Melissa

Yeah, you sound like a regular Major Payne.

Janine

Yes, well, we are building something.

Barbara

I love a good step show. It's so good for the kids.

Janine

Right?

Ava

Who gave you permission to put this on my wall? Is this Comic Sans?

Janine

We're going about this all wrong. You know you don't build a dam in the middle of a river, you build it before the water comes.

Jacob

That is so wise.

Ava

[simultaneously] What the hell are you talking about?

Melissa

So this Zack, he lives with you?

Jacob

Yeah he just moved in last month.

Melissa

And that's going...well?

Jacob

Yep! He's so great!

Ava

So he knew you and was like..."More?"

Jacob

Mmm...

[walking in and hugging Jacob] Hey there's my guy!

Ava

BLACK!?

It's actually pronounced "Zack." You must be Ava.

Ava

You were all thinking it. I see you, don't look at me like that!

Barbara

We always look at you like this.

Janine

After making many phone calls and pretending to slip on a beer can at the Flyers' arena, I've managed to get the only celebrity that matters to come surprise our kids on the first day of school. America's favorite orange, furry sweetheart, Flyers mascot, Gritty!

Melissa

Yes!

Janine

Yes!

Ava

You should've said that as soon as you stood up. No need for those other words you said. Yes, Janine!

Barbara

The kids are gonna love this.

Melissa

Yes!

Janine

I know, right?

Gregory

I don't get Gritty.