Tommy Solomon quotes from 3rd Rock from the Sun

Tommy

Which one is it?

Dick

It must be him - it's hideous.

Hey, that's my daughter!

Dick

I'm so sorry; she's hideous.

Harry

so what is this thing you're going to again?.

Dick

It's a charity auction.

Tommy

And what's charity again?.

Dick

All I know is they're giving free drinks and paddles with numbers on them.

Harry

Well I guess that's what charity's all about, getting liquored up and spanking your neighbor.

Dick

We can make little differences; we just can't make global differences.

Harry

Can we blow up the Earth?

Dick

You see, that's a global difference.

Harry

It's so hard to keep track of all this.

Dick

I'm sorry, there is simply no room in the budget for raises. But I can go you one better: promotions! Sally, you are now Senior Security Officer.

Sally

That'll look good on the ol' résumé!

Dick

Tommy, you are now Senior Information Officer.

Tommy

It's about time!

Harry

What about me?

Dick

Harry, you are now... Harold.

Harry

Champagne for everyone!

Tommy

[about a movie Harry has seen] How was it? I heard there was an awesome shower scene.

Harry

Oh, yeah...but then this naked girl got in and you could barely see the shower.

Harry

Ah, the mail! What would a day on Earth be like without the mail?

Tommy

Probably a lot like Sunday.