Dick Solomon quotes from 3rd Rock from the Sun

Tommy

Which one is it?

Dick

It must be him - it's hideous.

Hey, that's my daughter!

Dick

I'm so sorry; she's hideous.

Mary

I am so hungover!

Dick

Oh! Well, Mary, that's just nature's way of telling you what a tramp you are.

Dick

Hey, be thankful I wasn't killed!

Sally

Yeah, because then we'd have to hitch a ride to your funeral, BECAUSE YOU WRECKED OUR FREAKIN' CAR!

Dick

We can make little differences; we just can't make global differences.

Harry

Can we blow up the Earth?

Dick

You see, that's a global difference.

Harry

It's so hard to keep track of all this.

Harry

so what is this thing you're going to again?.

Dick

It's a charity auction.

Tommy

And what's charity again?.

Dick

All I know is they're giving free drinks and paddles with numbers on them.

Harry

Well I guess that's what charity's all about, getting liquored up and spanking your neighbor.

Dick

We can make little differences; we just can't make global differences.

Harry

Can we blow up the Earth?

Dick

You see, that's a global difference.

Harry

It's so hard to keep track of all this.

Dick

Why do these people get to have their life stories in the paper? What makes them so special?

Nina

Those are the obituaries.

Dick

Well, I want one about me!

Nina

Hopefully soon.

I've never noticed it before, but you look capable of violence.

Dick

[picking up a chair] I'll show you who's capable of violence!

[sees Dick kissing an imaginary person] Dr. Solomon, what are you doing?

Dick

...I said no talking, Leon. You fail!

Dick

I'm sorry, there is simply no room in the budget for raises. But I can go you one better: promotions! Sally, you are now Senior Security Officer.

Sally

That'll look good on the ol' résumé!

Dick

Tommy, you are now Senior Information Officer.

Tommy

It's about time!

Harry

What about me?

Dick

Harry, you are now... Harold.

Harry

Champagne for everyone!

Mary

[referring to Dick] I wouldn't be caught dead going out with that scab.

Dick

Well, couldn't you put a band-aid over it?

Dick

Whaddaya think, Nina? Ya like beefcake?

Nina

Not from your funky bakery. [winks]

Dick

Are you going to kill me?

Of course not; you're my designated driver.

Dick

I don't know what to do. I don't know what to feel. Who am I?

Harry

Well, let me see, your first name is Dick... your new last name is Head... I guess that would make..

Dick

Oh My God!

My daughter just ran off with your ragamuffin son!

Dick

"Ragamuffin"?! Sally, throw him out; Harry, bring me a dictionary.

Mary

What did your father tell you about the family?

Dick

Not a lot. He, uh... lost his mouth in the war.