A character in 2 Broke Girls
Played by Kat Dennings
2 Broke Girls · 189 quotes
Most-quoted character in 2 Broke Girls: in 185 of its 189 quotes
Most scenes with: Caroline Channing (151), Oleg Golishevsky (21), Han Lee (16)
MaxRemember on Full House, when you thought there was one Michelle, but there were actually two Michelles...
Why are you bringing up one of the craziest days of my life?
MaxHe has two.
Two what?
MaxOwen has two penises! Why is it so hard to understand?
Is that a thing that can happen?
Yes, it's called diphallia. I just Googled it. It's a medical condition in which a male is born with two penises. The only case in which two dongs make a right.
According to Netflix, last night I watched half the Takens and all the Insidiouses-es. All of them!
MaxRelax. You probably just sleep-watched them. And you probably also sleep-ordered 28 boxes of tampons on Amazon.
Max, you hacked into my accounts? That's illegal! And beyond what I thought you were intellectually capable of!
Not much of a hack when the password is "Hanstoppable."
That's a breach of trust, girls. Did you order me those shoes?
Dammit! I should have gone with "Han Golden Pond."
And is this your same-sex partner?
MaxI will be if that gets me in the will.
Bernard, this is Max. She's my roommate.
Yes, that's what we called them back in the day.
I'm Periscoping.
MaxIsn't periscoping when you do mouth stuff on a guy while he keeps a lookout for the cops?
Not all sex has to involve the threat of an arrest, Max. Periscope is a social media app that streams live videos to your followers. Tell everyone in Brooklyn who loves food festivals that we'll be at the Taste of Bushwick tomorrow.
MaxOr you can follow me into the bathroom while I change, and they can see some bushwick right now.
[Max and Caroline have VIP tickets for Oleg's cousin's basketball game]
Where are the fliers? I bet we could get a lot of business there.
MaxNo! We are not doing business! Tonight is supposed to be fun.
Well, I find business fun, but okay. One day, you will appreciate my ambition.
MaxAnd one day, I will try lettuce, but not tonight. No fliers.
No fliers.
MaxNo fliers.
I just think this is a missed opportunity.
Max"Missed Opportunity" was my stripper name at the Salty Dog. Look, I don't wanna work tonight. Which also happened to be my catchphrase.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's 2 Broke Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
