Kat, I'm sure somewhere on the Internet, there's a manual on how to deliver a baby. But it doesn't mean you know your way around a uterus.
Why can't my dad just be an accountant?
All S1
S1 E5Don't Give Up
So, what's distracting you from setting the table?
I'm turning my giant carbon footprint into a cute little baby foot - by converting my car into a biodiesel.
Huh, by yourself?
You think a woman can't do it?
Sure she can if she's a mechanic. You do realize that this is your only car and if you destroy it I'm not getting you another one.
Relax, Dad, I printed a comprehensive instruction manual off the Internet. It got nine out of ten stars.
S1 E6You Can't Always Get What You Want
I really need advice from someone other than my friend Michael. There's a reason the only girl he's kissed is his cousin Ruth.
SMs. Sommers
Kat, astronauts on the international space station can see that you're a feminist.
(talking to Bianca about the soda) Sometimes they take a while to drop.
So do your testicles.
Speaking of inflation, can I get an advance on my allowance?
Stop being a capitalist. I'm not an ATM. You can't just push my buttons and get cash.
Yeah, maybe I can do that this afternoon while I'm setting up her online commerce.
Yeah, you can protect her from all that unwanted spam.
I can be her anti-virus software.
(carrying a clipboard for her petition) Will you sign this? It would be nice to have a real person other than Mr. Balzac and Mr. I.P. Freely.
Bianca [to Dawn]: Why can't Brad and Angie adopt us?
DDawn
At least I've got a shot. I'm Asian.
Charlie, you and your friends and your friends' friends should tune into BiancaAndDawn.org tonight for some Katy Perry action.
Charlie [after seeing Bianca and Dawn kiss]: This makes up for my parents blocking The L Word.
Do I look like Dr. Phil?
S1 E7Light My Fire
I feel like a poodle at a dessert buffet. What I wouldn't do for a flat iron right about now.
People could be losing their homes right now and you're worried about your hair. Ugh, you're worse than Anderson Cooper (looks around).
Ooh, you're looking for Patrick. You like him.
No I don't.
You want to kiss him.
Really? Are you five?
I'm just excited to know that you're capable of physical attraction. Now, maybe I won't have to suffer the burden of caring for you and your cats when you're old.
Sorry, can't take you seriously with your hair like this (twirls Bianca's curls).
(Chastity comes up).
Bianca!
(Turns Kat around the opposite way) Face forward and don't say anything or I'll tell Patrick you want to have his babies.
(Kat is sitting on the stairs by herself, the old lady walks up)
Look, I'm off duty. Fire's over.
OOld Lady
Oh, so I guess I don't have to show you what your boyfriend left for you.
He's not my boyfriend.
OOld Lady
(points) Over there. Missy, lighten up - I know a lot of cat ladies who started out like you. (smiles and walks away while Kat goes to see what Patrick left her - her mom's vinyl albums)
(while Kat flips through her albums in disbelief that Patrick was thoughtful enough to bring them) I am so happy we can go home. This evacuation has been nothing but drama.
(Walter appears behind them)
These quotes come from Wikiquote's 10 Things I Hate About You pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.