Hassleberry quotes from Yu-Gi-Oh! GX

Can you guys tell me who's in charge 'round here?

Jaden... Physics quiz. Shoot, that boy just may have to cheat.

C'mon soldier, up and at 'em. You can't hide in there forever.

Syrus

Of course not. Just for a few days. A week tops. But don't worry, I've got everything I need in here. Bottled water, a canned ham, Mr. Fuzzy-Bear....

I am not even gonna ask.

Atticus

Hey Sissy!!

Alexis

[looks surprised] Atticus!

Chazz

No way.

Syrus

Nice song!

Hold on. Who's he calling a sissy!!

Alexis

Me, he's my brother.

I knew that.

Alexis

I already told you guys, didn't I? Crowler wants me and Atticus to become a pop singing duo.

What's so bad about that? I get free publicity, you get a free dress. It's a win-win situation.

Chazz

[Daydreams about Alexis in a dress] YEAH!!!

Alexis

A little help here!

Bastion

Yeah, Chazz, you know she can't carry a tune.

Alexis

[Gets mad and slaps Bastion]

You gotta know when to hold it, soldier.

Bastion

I was... trying to help. Girls are so complex.

Atticus

I've already named our band. We're called Bro-Bro and Sissy.

So, which one's he?

Bastion

Good question...

Syrus

Think you're tough?! Watch this! I'll kick things off with Polymerization! And I'll use it to fuse my Ambulanceroid with my Rescueroid in order to create… Ambulance Rescueroid!

2300 attack points?!

Syrus

That's right! And since a fusion is a special summon, my blaster fires again! Now, Ambulance Rescueroid, attack! I'm not done! I summon Decoyroid in defense mode! Okay. I think I've punished you enough. So now, I'll end my turn with this. Oh, and as long as my Decoyroid is in play, it's the only monster you're allowed to attack!

With Ambulance Rescueroid in attack mode, I may not be able to use my Tyranno's special ability. But I can send your little Decoyroid on a one-way trip… to the card graveyard, that is!

Syrus

Not gonna happen! Ambulance Rescueroid has a talent you should know about. Anytime you destroy one of my monsters, it can rescue the monster from my graveyard! So go ahead and try it, pal!

No way! So as soon as I attack your Decoyroid, it's gonna come right back to the field? Now, wait a sec. Since that's the only monster I can attack, I'm trapped! Or maybe not! Watch this! I sacrifice my Tyranno to activate a field spell! Big Evolution! Now for three turns, I can summon any dinosaur monster without having to make a sacrifice! So now I play Ultimate Tyranno in attack mode!

Bastion

Great Scot!

Syrus

Aww man!

Sam Hill!

Alexis

Why don't I have a catchphrase!

I'm lost.

Syrus

Me too.

Bastion

Any thoughts, Jay?

This duel is so sweet!

He's pretty creepy.

Typical guy.

Syrus

She's pretty riled up.

Typical gal.

This war is on! [makes the first move] Talk about a good start. Giant Rex, front and center!

Sartorius

Well done. Quite a powerful monster for your first turn.

Man, are you creepy.

Wait! You gotta call off this duel! Do you have any idea who you're playing against?!

Of course. That's why I accepted. I'm plannin' on greasin' the treads of my tank with this brainwashin' lunatic! Then we can get Chazz and Alexis to come to their senses.

Sartorius

Let's move on! [draws] Shall we? I'll begin with this… Arcana Force I in attack mode. [summons Arcana Force I - The Magician and the card above starts rotating]

What in Sam Hill is that?!

Sartorius

Do you believe in destiny? Everything is predetermined. By often life gives the illusion of free will.

Huh?

Sartorius

Observe. This card gives you choice. For it possesses two distinct special abilities. And you get to decide which one is used. Notice how the card rotates? It can stop upright or upside down. When it stops is up to you. Its position determines its ability.

I get the point. It's a game of chance. Now let's move on! Make it stop!

Sartorius

Arcana is right-side up. So whenever a spell card is played, it gets stronger… By doubling its points.

Syrus

Aw, man!

Sartorius

Let's try this again. I summon Arcana Force VII - The Chariot! Go ahead, you know what to do.

Stop now!

Sartorius

Its upside-down effect activates, so if The Chariot is destroyed in battle, it reappears on your side.

[chuckles] No complaints here.

Sartorius

We'll see about that.

(shouting) SARINA! SARINA! SARINA!

What, did he brainwash the whole dorm?

(muttering) Affirmative, Why else why would they be cheerin’ like that, it’s not like he deserves it.

Syrus

Well, he is the oldest living freshman.

Sartorius

You see, gentlemen. As a new student here, I'd rather not stand out.

Then get a new haircut!

Touche.

This shouldn't take too long. I'll start with Tadpole.

Now that's ugly.

(to Hassleberry) You would know.

Syrus

(laughing) Heh! She got you.

(hiding face while muttering) I know.