All my life, I've wanted to fit in. To be ordinary. So I thought moving to a new town would be my chance. A chance to be normal. But I was forgetting one little thing: I'm a vampire.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Can't believe we have to speak this stupid language.
We've got to keep a low profile.
And why do we have to move, anyway?
Please be quiet, Mistress Ingrid, I'm trying to read the map.
Don't tell me to be quiet, insect biter!
Right, that is it!
Don't you touch me, you fungus!
Rat!
Creep!
Witch!
Pus-face!
Turn right!
Cold sewer!
Cretin.
Freak! Fart-breath!
Spider-licker!
Scab picker!
Snot eater!
RENFIELD! What... exactly... is going on?
Sorry... for disturbing you, Master...
Silence!
Ingrid wants to turn the hearse around and go back to Transylvania.
Oh, you do, do you? And what about the angry, torch-wielding Transylvanian peasant mob, hmm? Would you like to go back to them, too?
(Cuts to scenes of individual peasants in the mob. Cuts back to the Count, who shudders)
Yeah, well, better going back to Transylvania to face them than living in this dump. I mean, look at it. It's so... normal.
Normal. That's just what I was thinking.
So this is school.
Yeah. It's a bit like a prison, only sometimes people escape from prison.
[to Vlad] I don't understand. Shouldn't you be in Transylvania?
Close encounter with an angry peasant mob.
We've come here to keep a low profile.
Really? Well try and not bring your cape into school next time.
Wow, I never realized doing homework could be so much fun.
You're kidding?! I'd rather have my tongue pulled out.
[When Ingrid asks Magda to stay at the castle.]
You did what?!
Don't you want to see her?
Sorry, which mum are we walking about? Coz I'm thinking about the backstabbing witch from Hell one!
Cool! At least she sounds like a proper vampire. I mean, you two haven't got a fang between you.
Dad, you promised to be careful. Do I need to spell it out for you? M-O-B.
I am Count Dracula, not spell Dracula.
M-O-B spells angry peasant mob howling for your dust.
I know that, but I'm bored.
So I'm not a vampire after all? But I was so sure.
I know. You were selfish. You betrayed your friends, you were totally inhuman.
[smiling] You mean...
Just because you aren't a vampire doesn't mean you can't be evil.
Thanks, Vlad. You're my best mate, you know that don't you?
Robin, I'm your only mate.
Exactly.
[When the Count is teaching Vlad hypnotism.]
Now, remember Vlad. The key to hypnotising your victim is to look deep... into their eyes.
Feeling a little uncomfortable with the word 'victim'.
[When everyone agrees to un-hypnotize the Count back into a vampire and the Branagh parents back into Breathers.]
Will Mum and Dad still be after my blood?
Unfortunately not. They won't remember a thing. Lucky them!
[When Ingrid is disguising Robin as her boyfriend.]
If I can't prove I've got a boyfriend Dad's gonna send me off to Transiberia!
[Smirking] Oh, dear! Send us a postcard when you get there!
[Chloe wakes up screaming the next morning after Vlad's sleep over as she has found fang neck wounds.]
What've you done to me?!
Congratulations, Master Vlad! Your first bite.
NO! What am I gonna do?!
Excuse me! I'm the victim here! What happens to me now?!
Welcome to the family, Mistress Chloe!
EElizabeth
Now Robin, it doesn't matter what your teachers say tonight as long as you've gotten over this morbid obsession with vampires.
Yes, Mum.
And if not we've decided to send you to Happy Camp.
Happy Camp?!
It's where troubled children go and learn how to be happy.
EElizabeth
Through happy music and happy dance.
Oh, just kill me now!
I can't believe Dad only came to Parents' Evening to get his revenge on Mr. Van Helsing!
Stop whinging! At least he didn't find out he was a slayer.
I suppose I've just gotta accept it; our family's not normal.
Who'd want to be normal? I mean, look at him.
[Gestures to where Robin and Chandu are playing chess.]
Checkmate! Who's the loser! Who's the loser! Go loser! Go loser! Go loser!
[to Ingrid] Fair point.
CCrone
[To Robin] Do you prefer French blood or Italian?
[Robin thinks anxiously.]
AAtilla
Tick, tock! Tick, tock!
[Raising her hand] Oh, I know! I know!
CCrone
Let him answer!
Neither, they both taste of garlic.
CCrone
I approve.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Young Dracula pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.