If there's one thing I know, it's how to get attention at parties.
“Parties” · Season 7, Episode 4
In this episode: Alanis Morissette (3), Alasdair (2), Adam (2), Mrs. Prevert (1), Mr. Prevert (1), Principal (1)
Alanis, if you won't go to the network party with me, I'll just have to kill myself, that's all.
Oh Alasdair, how touching. I really want to help you... all right.
You'll come?
No, I'll go.
Great!
I'll go see if I can find my father's gun.
All right Adam, I want you to copy pages 7 to 9,742 in this dictionary.
AAdam
Sir, you can't make me stay here! It's my birthday today! I'm having guests over, a big party, a cake, everything!
Oh. Your birthday, you say? Well, in that case, I might let you off...
AAdam
Oh, thank you, sir...
I said, might let you off, if you hadn't used that excuse at least 15 times this year, and I don't remember how many times last year. Do you think I'm stupid? I'm not falling for that again.
AAdam
But sir, it really IS my birthday today!
Do you think that I'm an idiot? If you'd had as many birthdays as you've claimed in the last couple of years, you'd be... 75 years of age.
AAdam
("old man" voice) Well, how clever of you to work that out, sir! I'm actually 75 today! And you wouldn't put an old man through detention, would you? (clutches his chest as though he were having a heart attack) My heart can't take it.
(rushes to help Adam out of his seat and to the door) Oh! No! Easy, sir! Come along now... oh, by the way, happy birthday.
AAdam
("old man" voice) Thank you, young lad!
And many happy returns, sir. Bye-bye!
AAdam
(leaving detention room) Bye!
And have a good day.
(Alasdair, Alanis, Adam and Kai are partying in the living room and having a wonderful time, when they hear their parents' voices outside the door.)
Children! We're home from the convention!
Hi kids!
Oh no! We weren't supposed to be having a party! Quick, clean up!
AAdam
They'll kill us!
(The children frantically begin trying to clean up the messy living room, but don't get far when the door opens and Mom and Dad enter.)
(sees mess) HEY! Whaaaat's been goin' on here?!
AAdam
Well...
Some... some... some bunch of burglars broke in here and tied us all up, and then they went really wild and crazy and had a party!
KKai
And... and you should have seen the Pin the Tail on the Donkey game! It was terrible!
Oh, no! Are you kids all right?
Well, we're kind of in shock right now.
Okay, listen - I am gonna call the police.
Dad, don't be too hard on them, you know, just because they didn't clean up the place.
Oh, don't you worry, Alanis. Those burglars are going to get their just deserts. You see (holds up fish bone), those burglars ate some salmon that was contaminated with food poisoning, and they are all going to be very sick any minute now.
(The kids immediately get sick and begin to throw up.)
AAnnouncer
"Mr. T Goes To A Tupperware Party" will not be seen at this time in order that we may bring you this after party mess.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's You Can't Do That on Television pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.