Ares quotes from Xena: Warrior Princess

Ares

No. Life isn't worth living. It's to be taken, and beaten. And wrestled, and formed in your image. That's where the meaning lies. In what you can twist life into. For those who just endure life, yeah it is a very nasty joke. But for those who form it with their will, the joke is on those who get in the way.

Xena

I must be crazy. You're beginning to make sense.

Ares

We were starting to-- warm up to each other there, weren't we?

Gabrielle

Yeah, we were.

Ares

I didn't like it.

Gabrielle

Right back at ya.

Gabrielle

I wanted to get there before Xena so that I could betray her. I wanted to betray her. I gave her everything and it had meant nothing to her. I hated her for loving someone else. I wanted her to hurt. I wanted her to be punished. And, I almost got her killed. My hatred and jealousy almost destroyed my best friend.

Ares

So, now you have the answer. The question is can you live with it?

Gabrielle

If the bowl is ever empty, so go my memories.

Ares

And the pain, all that pain.

Gabrielle

And the memories of my youth, my parents, my loves ...

Ares

... the betrayal, the killing, the death of your child.

Gabrielle

And Xena.

Ares

Bottom line, Gabrielle, you won't miss what you never knew.

Ares

(17:05 Netflix) No you aren't listening I said everybody. I want every warlord, every soldier who ever professed an allegiance to me. All of them. This is going to be the largest army ever assembled.

- But this is Dahak and his daughter.

Ares

- "And I am Ares, God of War! I will not end up son but note in the annals of history. Dahak want a battle for dominion. Alright I'll give him one he'll never forget."

Ares

I never knew you were looking for a father.

Xena

I'm not.

Ares

Well then someone clearly has the job.

Xena

Yeah, Gabrielle.

Ares

I would have paid to see that.

Ares

You'll always be a goody-two-shoes!

Gabrielle

Yeah, but with a really big sword.

Ares

You have no idea how glad I am to see you again.

You don't know how little I give a damn.

Ares

Well, you've been lucky so far, little brother. I've always gone kind of easy on you.

Oh, so all those other times I knocked you flat on your ass you were just pretending?

Ares

I was worried what Dad would do if I really hurt you. You've always been his favorite.

You see, that's the difference between you and me, I never really cared what 'Daddy' thought.

Ares

Ow, Athena is beating you like a dog out there. Put a poultice on it, it's gotta sting.

Xena

Thanks.

Ares

Hey, don't feel bad. After all, you're fighting the god of wisdom and warfare.

Xena

Don't forget weaving.

Ares

You're not going to kill me, are you.

Xena

Why ever not?

Ares

Because I love you. Yeah, I love you.

Xena

The great God of War can't even hurt a fly.

Ares

Xena, you came.

Xena

[catches fly] Lucky for you. That fly nearly had you.

Ares

What happened to the peace-loving, blond chick you used to be?

Gabrielle

Ares, [plants herself on his lap] that Gabrielle's been gone for a long time. You and Xena showed me that warriors rule the world, not philosophers.

Ares

I could get used to this. I could.

Ares

"It's not the end of the world. Who knows, maybe as a mortal I can experience something I never could as a god."

Xena

"Like what?"

Ares

"Like you."

Aphrodite

(keeps trying to disapparate) It's not fair!

Ares

Welcome to my nightmare.

Calling number 27! One Thor's Hammer! We'll make you feel like the God of Thunder!

Ares

27! Yo, I got 27!

Ares, the former God of War!

Ares

No, I'm not … crap! [runs out of the tavern]

We found Ares, the former God of War, half naked and stinking of booze in a bordello.

Ares

I'm trying to get laid! I'm not a criminal!

Ares

(voice only) Xena, tell me, have you heard the story of the scorpion and the swan?

Xena

You haven't even got the guts to face me.

Ares

See, the scorpion needs to get across the river, and he asks the swan for a ride. And the swan figures it's not much of a risk. The scorpion wouldn't sting the creature who's carrying him over the raging river.

Xena

My daughter's about to die because of you, and you're feeding me fairy tales?

Ares

(appears behind Xena) Bear with me, it's worth the wait. So, about halfway across, the scorpion stings the swan, and as they're both being swept to their death, the swan asks the scorpion, "I was helping you. Why did you sting me?" And the scorpion answers...

Xena

"It's what I do."

Ares

Yeah, it's what I do.