Mr. Perfect quotes from WWF Superstars of Wrestling

Not only do you now have a perfect World Wrestling Intercontinental Champion, but I would like to introduce my new manager, the perfect manager, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan!

Right now, I would like to introduce to everybody my former manager.

Did you say, "former"?

Yes, I said, "former." A man who has taken me to great heights in the World Wrestling Federation; a man who has taken me to the Intercontinental Championship belt; and with my urging, as a broadcast journalist, will be just as successful, [entering the Parlor...] Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.

Oh, my goodness.

What is going on here, folks?

Thank you, Mr. Perfect. You know, as I enter the field of broadcast journalism, with the likes of Walter Cronkite, Edward R. Murrow, Peter Arnett, I, no doubt, will far, far surpass anything those typewriter pushers could have ever achieved. Why? Simple. 'Cause they are not perfect.

And now, I give you the man that will be by my side. Coach.

[as Coach enters the Parlor, blowing a whistle] Coach? What is... what is this? I can't believe this.

Do you think Ditka could coach? Do you think Lombardi could coach? Do you think the Bear could coach? These guys were peanuts! They were all peanuts! They're on the bottom of the totem pole! Did you know that the New York Giants wanted me to coach, to coach their team? But who wants to coach just a mere football team, when I can coach Mr. Perfect, the Intercontinental Champion.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Intercontinental Champion, Mr. Perfect!

Sherri, you look so lovely, so happy, so alive! Have you been to a funeral?

No, Paul Bearer, I'm on Cloud Nine. I've found the man of my dreams, Paul Bearer.

Oh, does this mean you're in love? Who's the lucky guy?

Oh, Paul Bearer, I'm in love with a man that has long, blond, flowing locks. I'm in love with a man that has a body sculpture that even the Greek gods would envy. I'm in love with a man that has the most wonderful wrestling ability that any one person can be blessed to possess!

That could be me, McMahon.

I'm in love with a man that even has an animal magnetism that makes my blood run hot! I am in love with Shawn Michaels!

Shawn Michaels?

Yes! Shawn Michaels, now that he and Marty Jannetty are no longer a team or an item. Shawn has never needed Marty Jannetty. Never ever needed Marty Jannetty. And now that he's gotten rid of that deadbeat, he has all the time in the world to accept the love and everything that I have to give him.

Oh, but Sherri, what about the "Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase?

My Teddy bear is a wonderful, giving, and very loving man. My Teddy bear has left the door wide open for me to return at any time I decide. And my Teddy bear has given me gifts that any woman in the world would dream of having. My Teddy bear only wants what makes me happy. And my Teddy bear knows that what makes me happy, is giving and sharing all of my wealth with Shawn Michaels.

President Jack Tunney, you've made a lot of decisions here in the World Wrestling Federation. This time, you've stepped on me and the World Wrestling Federation Champion. The decisions you made don't sit pleasant with us.

The first mistake you ever made, Tunney, was when you attempted, through video distortion, to destroy my credibility as the greatest champion of all time. Now I stand here before you with the World Wrestling Federation Title, Hogan gone, and Savage in.

Papa Shango, I got to ask you what's going on?

Ultimate Warrior, how does it feel not to be in control. Ultimate Warrior, how does it feel. You have enter the dark world of Papa Shango. You have stepped into my black circle, and that black circle its closing on you. (end of interview).

Thank god it's over.

Mean Gene Okerlund thanking his lucky stars nothing happened out there. (Then Papa put a curse on Okerlund causing his right hand to suffer a case of voodoo) Wait a minute, what's that.

Look its the curse of papa shango.

What is going on?

I have never seen anything like this before, wow!

(After his voodoo curse) Oh My God!

Last Monday night in Saskatoon, the Hitman Bret Hart becomes the reigning World Wrestling Federation Champion!

Saskatoon! Who ever heard of Saskatoon?! I never heard of Saskatoon! Have you ever heard of Saskatoon?! No! Ric Flair has a title match in Saskatoon. I advised him, "don't take a title match in Saskatoon." He turns around, he signs for it anyway. And prior to the match, Ric Flair—and I'm the only one who knows this, I'm honestly telling you—Ric Flair was sick as a dog! He could barely pick himself off the bench and walk to the ring! I said, "Slick Ric, don't go to the ring in Saskatoon"! He goes to the ring anyway, the rest is history! Bret "The Hitman" Hart becomes the World Wrestling Federation Champion, which only proves...what are you laughing about, McMahon? I'm ready to take you out, or anybody else! This is serious business! I'm the executive consultant to Ric Flair! The point is, on any given night, any great superstar can defeat another great superstar! Well, Bret "The Hitman" Hart, you had yours, and next time Ric Flair steps into the ring with you, my friend, Ric Flair will once again become the World Wrestling Federation Champion!