Craig DeGeorge quotes from WWF Superstars of Wrestling

All right ladies and gentlemen. With me at this time, Bobby "the Brain" Heenan. Mr. Heenan, I must say you've been skeptical. Last week, you promised that you were going to produce Paul "Mr. Wonderful" Orndorff here and I truly want to compliment you.

Let me tell you something, I don't lie. If I say I'm going to have something here, I've got something here. I want to prove to you like I've said before that Mr. Wonderful will admit to you about Ravishing Rick Rude's body. He will admit that he is glad to have him in the family. Mr. Wonderful, please come on up here!

Well, here he comes, we will indeed get the word from Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff.

Mr. Wonderful, I want you to tell the people and set the record straight how glad you are that Ravishing Rick Rude is in the Bobby Heenan Family and that he has the greatest physique in the family, in wrestling, in sports today!

Orndorff?

You really want to know?

You tell him how you really welcome him with open arms, how you are blessed that I have him in the family. I've got Bam Bam Bigelow just about signed. Everything's going our way and how you approved of everything.

You really want to know?

You tell the humanoids about Rick Rude's body. That he's got the best body. You've got a great body but his is like that much better. You tell them.

You REALLY want to know?

I want to know.

Hold on. Well I'm going to tell you what I think. First of all, Rick Rude does not have a better body than Mr. Wonderful! [takes off his robe] No!

No, no, tell them what you told me.

And second of all, I'm sick and I'm tired, I'm sick and I'm tired, I'm sick and I'm tired of lying to you, and lying to those people,...

Come on, get a hold of yourself!

...and lying to myself!

Paul, I made you a star! I made you what you are today!

You made me nothing but misery! Misery!

What about the family, Paul?!

What about the family? I'm going to tell what I think of Rick Rude and the Bobby Heenan family! [spits] That's what I think! And I'm going to tell you something else! I'm going to tell you something else that you've heard before, YOU'RE FIRED!!! Hey, in case you didn't understand, read my lips, YOU'RE FIRED!!!

Get a hold of yourself!

And I'm going to tell you something else, I'm going to introduce to you my new manager, Oliver Humperdink!!!!

Paul, you don't know what you're doing!

The new manager of Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff, Oliver Humperdink! That's certainly a damaging blow to the stability of the Heenan Family!

Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to my guests. First, the bodyguard Virgil, and of course, the "Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase. Yes, Mr. DiBiase, a man who's been trying to prove to us that everyone has a price.

Well, I would guess by now that all of you would have started to believe, believe what I've been trying to tell you since I came to the World Wrestling Federation. Believe that indeed, each and every one of you does have a price for the Million Dollar Man. I've proved it to you week after week after week. You say how? You've seen clumsy little kids try to dribble basketballs for some of my money; you've seen stupid, uncoordinated little kids trying to do just ten push-ups for some of my money; you've seen women get down on their hands and knees and bark like a dog for some of my money. You've even seen people get in the ring, get down on their hands and knees, and kiss my stinking, sweaty feet for some of my money. Why, I've even bought the producer of this television show; he didn't come cheap, but he had his price.

Everybody's everybody.

Everybody is every man, woman, and child in this arena! Every one of you has a price for the Million Dollar Man. Everybody is you, all you people at home enjoying watching the Million Dollar Man on television. Every one of you has a price for me. And you know who else "everybody" is?

What do you mean "who else"? Everybody's ev...everybody's everybody.

Wrong. Everybody's not everybody. Everybody is, now read my lips...Hulk Hogan.

Hulk Hogan?! What are you trying to say, Hulk Hogan?!

What am I trying to say? I'll tell you what I'm trying to say. Everybody, nobody excluded, everybody has a price for the Million Dollar Man. And over the next several weeks, I'm going to prove it to you in the biggest way I know how. I'm going to buy the World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Championship! That's right, baby! It's gonna be mine! Lock, stock, and barrel!

Ladies and gentlemen, indeed for weeks, the suspense has been building. As we've heard from Ted Dibiase time and time again, he says everyone has a price. Recently, he says that everyone includes the World Wrestling Federation Heayvweight Champion Hulk Hogan. Right now, let us end all of our speculations. Please welcome the World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Champion, Hulk Hogan!!

The Hulkster on his way to deliver the message. And I know Jesse, your ears are very keenly awaiting the results.

He's nodding yes already!

Champ, your comments please.

Well you know, thinking about money 24 hours a day can make you a little goofy you know. I thought about how it would turn my life around if I had all the money I wanted, it would change me completely. I could have a new car in every garage. I could take care of my family the way I want it to. Accepting the offer from the Millon Dollar Man? Oh yeah, it would make this possible. I could do all that and more. New cars, family would be set up. I'd never have to fight for anything again. Accepting the offer from the Million Dollar Man would also change a few other things. All those little teeny Hulksters that would physically aren't as capable as me, I would help them out. All those little teeny Hulksters that mentally aren't right on the money, we could help them out. But oh yeah man. Accepting the mega offer from the Multi-Million Dollar Man would change my life completely. [removes the title from his waist] Thinking about that, thinking about all the little Hulksters, thinking about all the money we could have, how easy it would be. On behalf of all the little Hulksters and myself, I'm going to have to tell the Million Dollar Man.........HELL NOOOOOOOOO!!! Ted Dibiase, if you want to try to have the World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Title, come and try and get it!!

All right, what about it, Jesse Ventura? Hulk Hogan does not have his price for the Millon Dollar Man!

I tell you what I think about this, he's a fool! I think he made a total mistake. The man could've retired, did it honorably, been a multi-millionaire, and lived happily ever after. I think he's a fool and he made the wrong choice.