[JR and the King talk about the tag team championship match between Al Snow and Steve Blackman against the New Age Outlaws, but JR notices Al Snow going down to one section of the front row]
[sees Snow greet some people who just came down] Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hey, wait a minute! My God, that's... that's Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko!
What are they doing here tonight?
JJim
What the hell is going on here? Those four guys... Well, King, we know it's all over the Internet they thumbed their noses at their last employer!
Well, I know that. They walked out on that Ted Turner organization, but what are they doing here?
JJim
I know the WWF's been negotiating with those four superstars, but they've not signed any contracts that I'm aware of.
Well, they haven't signed any contracts yet, so maybe they're just here to... They're just sitting at ringside, maybe they're here to get a bird's-eye view of the competition.
JJim
Well, all I'd say that's a pretty radical strategy on their part, wouldn't you think? It was radical enough that they walked out on their last employer because it was a lousy place to be, in their opinion.
JJim
...and showing up here unannounced is nothing short of radical either.
[Vince McMahon gloats over him buying WCW... but Shane appears, revealing that he's over at the WCW Nitro finale]
What's up Vince? Surprise Dad, you're in Cleveland, Ohio, and I'm here in Panama City Beach, Florida, standing in a WCW ring and as usual Dad, your ego has gotten the best of you. Your ego has gotten the best of you. I mean, Dad, you wanted to have the audacity to finalize this deal - WCW - at WrestleMania? You wanted to have the audacity to ask Ted Turner himself to come down and finalize that deal? Well, Dad, that's just the opportunity that I was looking for, because Dad, the deal is finalized with WCW and the name on the contract does say "McMahon." [WCW fans pop and Vince gulps] However, the contract reads, "Shane McMahon."
[Vince is openmouthed]
[on commentary] Oh my God! I don't believe it!
That's right, Dad, I now own WCW! And Dad, just like WCW did in the past--how it kicked your ass in the past and it will again. That's exactly what's gonna happen to you this Sunday, at WrestleMania!
JJim
I can't believe what we have just heard! Shane McMahon has bought WCW! And Mr. McMahon is in absolute shock!
[after Vince McMahon knocks down his son, Shane, with a trash can]: Can Vince make the cover? [suddenly Alliance members Booker T and Test come out to the ring to attack Vince] Wait a minute, there's...there's that damn Booker T and Test! Those bastards! [The Undertaker and Kane then arrive to even the odds] And Undertaker and Kane! Undertaker and Kane!
But whose side are they on?
JJim
They're not on Test and Booker T's side, that's for damn sure! Kane...on the outside, [Kane and Test knock each other down with kicks to the face] and both Kane and Test are down! The Undertaker, looking for a...spinaroonie, a little ride...[Undertaker gives Booker T a Last Ride] ...a Last Ride! [William Regal then comes out and gives The Undertaker a low blow from behind] But there's - oh! - Alliance commissioner William Regal with a low blow! Coming from behind The Undertaker, [Regal then hits the Regal Cutter on The Undertaker] and Regal, taking The Undertaker down, and perhaps out of this equation. [the crowd cheers loudly as suddenly The Rock comes out to the ring and attacks Regal] And there's The Rock!
PPaul
But whose side is he on?!
JJim
Team WWF! And The Rock, laying the smack down on Regal! [The Rock then gives Regal a Rock Bottom] And the Rock Bottom! The Rock Bottom! [out comes Stone Cold Steve Austin] Oh God! There's Austin!
PPaul
I know what side he's on! It's Stone Cold, [Austin gives The Rock a Stone Cold Stunner] punishing The Rock!
JJim
Austin with a Stunner on The Rock!
PPaul
Austin just stunned The Rock!
[now Kurt Angle comes out, with a steel chair in hand]
JJim
And here comes Kurt Angle!
PPaul
Whose side is HE on?!
JJim
[as Angle looks like he is about to hit Austin with the chair] Kurt Angle, the steel chair! Tear his head - [Chris Jericho runs into the ring, and Angle suddenly turns around and hits Jericho in the head with the chair instead] Oh no! Angle just nailed - Kurt Angle just hit Chris Jericho with the, right in the face with that steel chair! [The Rock gets back up from the Stunner, only for Angle to hit him in the head with the chair as well] Oh my God! My God, what is this?! [Angle then hits the Undertaker with the chair] Oh my God, don't tell me! [Kane gets back in the ring and Angle hits him with the chair as well] No! No! Kurt Angle! No!
PPaul
It's Kurt Angle! Kurt Angle, has joined the Alliance!
JJim
My God, it can't be!
PPaul
It is! It's true! It's true!
[Austin stands Vince up and hits him with a Stone Cold Stunner]
JJim
Oh! Austin - got the Stunner on McMahon, who couldn't even stand to start with!
PPaul
Kurt Angle has joined the Alliance, it's true, it's true!
JJim
[as Austin puts Shane on top of Vince]: Oh no! That son of a - [as the referee successfully counts to three] No! No, dammit! [the bell rings] Oh, God! What has Kurt Angle done?
Here's your winner, Shane McMahon!
PPaul
Shane McMahon has beaten his own father!
JJim
[as Shane and Austin embrace and then celebrate in the ring with Angle]: Shane McMahon may have beat his father physically; he may have also just beat his father at his own game! For the love of God, Shane McMahon has coerced Kurt Angle to join the Alliance!
PPaul
Kurt Angle has joined the Alliance! It's true! It's damn true!
JJim
Kurt Angle with an assault with a steel chair! Team WWF has gone to hell! My God, Kurt Angle has screwed us all and joined the damned Alliance!
[from an exclusive interview, a few weeks after Goldust was electrocuted]
Goldust, let's get right to the heart of the matter, how are you feeling these days?
GGoldust
Question is, after last week's beating, how are you feeling, JR?
JJim
Well...uh, I'll-I'll be all right, but I'm a whole lot more concerned about you and...give us an update.
GGoldust
Well, I was electrocuted, you know, there's...you either die or you live, and, uh...happily, I lived, and-and hopefully soon I'll be back.
JJim
Your good friend Booker T said that, on a recent interview, that "good ol' Goldie wasn't quite right". Uh, there's also been rumors abounding that, uh, you have some neurological challenges you're trying to overcome. How do you address those rumors?
GGoldust
There's been a lot of rumors for a lot of years about Goldust not being "right". As far as Booker T's concerned, he's my best friend. He's been my supporter. The fans have sup - [twitching] ooh, ooh, ooh - supported me through thick and thin.
GGoldust
Well, they've supported me. I feel good. I feel as good as...I feel - uhh, AHH! - as good as gold, I'm coming back - AHH!
JJim
Look, Goldust, I'm...I don't think - I don't think I'm going out on a limb here to say that, uh...there's something wrong here.
GGoldust
Well, I-I think there's something wrong too, you know, the doctors don't - ooh, ooh - don't...don't...mmm...don't, don't really know what's wrong with me, you know. Uh, but they say as long as I take...take my medication that-that-that-that...that, uh, you know, everything will - AHH! - work it...work itself out, so...you know, that's - AY! - that's all I can say.
JJim
If you had the opportunity to say something to the two men that did this to you - Randy Orton and Batista - what would it be?
Goldust [staring into the camera]: Randy Orton and Batista...you don't know what it feels like to be on the edge of death...but when this is all over, said and done, you will never forget the name of - [inhales] - Goldust. [chomps]
[Chris Jericho has invited The "Heartbreak Kid", Shawn Michaels, onto his 'Highlight Reel' show. The fans have started an "HBK" chant]
HBK, I wanna thank you for coming onto the Highlight Reel tonight. It's obvious from your body language that it's not easy; you look like you're still feeling the effects from the beating you took at One Night Stand in the stretcher match. But those effects would be felt by anybody; you put on such a gutsy performance, Shawn, I mean, you showed so much heart, so much courage, you should be proud of yourself, and, I-I was - I was proud of you too, as a matter of fact, even though you lost that match, all of our fans around the world and even here tonight, they still love you! [the crowd cheers]
I, uh...I appreciate all the kind words, but, um...you got a question in any of this?
Yes, I do have a question, I'm gonna get to that, but first I wanna make a little observation. I mean, like we just heard, obviously our fans, they love you no matter what it is you do. [to the cheering fans] No matter what, right? Case in point, you feigned a knee injury for almost a month, you blatantly lied about it to me, you lied to Batista-
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Now...that might be splitting hairs here, but I was very clear about the fact that I was gonna do whatever it took to win...and I did that. I didn't lie to Batista, I didn't lie to the people. Technically, the only person I lied to was...you.
All right, fair enough, I'll...I'll take that. Touché. Regardless of all that, when you finally admitted the truth and super-kicked me right in the face, you got cheered more than ever. I mean, it's... [off the cheers] see? I mean, I'm adored by the fans as well, but not even I could get away with that one. And when I pointed out your fabrication of the truth, suddenly I got booed. I mean...[the crowd boos] see? You pull a fast one on 'em and they adore you, and yet whenever I try to do the right thing, whether it be tell the truth or not hit you with a chair, not hit JBL with a chair, I got booed! You know, uh...it seems like our fans, even the ones here, would rather boo an honest man and cheer for you, I mean, it doesn't take much to get them to start chanting, "HBK". You know, it's..."HBK, HBK"! [the crowd chants "HBK" again] So that brings us to my question, and my question is this: how does Shawn Michaels, HBK, one of the greatest performers of all time and one of the most highly-decorated superstars in the history of this business, turn into such a lying, cheating, pathetic little worm of a human being? [the crowd boos again as suddenly Jericho attacks Michaels]
Oh! And Jericho, assaulting Michaels!
Jerry "The King" Lawler [as Michaels tackles Jericho and fights back]: Whoa!
JJim
And the fireworks! Michaels and Jericho, overt physicality here on Monday Night Raw!
[Jericho then kicks Michaels in the groin]
JJim
The obvious low blow, stopping Michaels dead in his tracks!
[Michaels tries to get up but Jericho shoves him back down to the canvas]
You wanna lie to me? This is just what you're gonna see, buddy. This is all... [as Michaels writhes] this is all your fault. This is what you wanna do? You started all this, and now you're gonna start it again. [stands Michaels up] The worst is yet to come.
[throws Michaels face-first into his Jeri-tron 5000 monitor, shattering it]
[Michaels groans in pain on the canvas as Jericho stares at him among the crowd's boos before leaving]
WWE Raw · 371 quotes
