[from an exclusive interview, a few weeks after Goldust was electrocuted]
Goldust, let's get right to the heart of the matter, how are you feeling these days?
Question is, after last week's beating, how are you feeling, JR?
Well...uh, I'll-I'll be all right, but I'm a whole lot more concerned about you and...give us an update.
Well, I was electrocuted, you know, there's...you either die or you live, and, uh...happily, I lived, and-and hopefully soon I'll be back.
Your good friend Booker T said that, on a recent interview, that "good ol' Goldie wasn't quite right". Uh, there's also been rumors abounding that, uh, you have some neurological challenges you're trying to overcome. How do you address those rumors?
There's been a lot of rumors for a lot of years about Goldust not being "right". As far as Booker T's concerned, he's my best friend. He's been my supporter. The fans have sup - [twitching] ooh, ooh, ooh - supported me through thick and thin.
Excuse me?
Well, they've supported me. I feel good. I feel as good as...I feel - uhh, AHH! - as good as gold, I'm coming back - AHH!
Look, Goldust, I'm...I don't think - I don't think I'm going out on a limb here to say that, uh...there's something wrong here.
Well, I-I think there's something wrong too, you know, the doctors don't - ooh, ooh - don't...don't...mmm...don't, don't really know what's wrong with me, you know. Uh, but they say as long as I take...take my medication that-that-that-that...that, uh, you know, everything will - AHH! - work it...work itself out, so...you know, that's - AY! - that's all I can say.
If you had the opportunity to say something to the two men that did this to you - Randy Orton and Batista - what would it be?
Goldust [staring into the camera]: Randy Orton and Batista...you don't know what it feels like to be on the edge of death...but when this is all over, said and done, you will never forget the name of - [inhales] - Goldust. [chomps]
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