Howard Finkel quotes from WrestleMania

Welcome to Wrestlemania!

Ladies and gentlemen, in the fourth round, the referee stops this bout, he awards the decision as a result of a disqualification to Mr. T!

The referee has disqualified both men!

I suppose you call that fair, Brain.

A win's a win. When you're at WrestleMania, you take what you can get. It's not easy. They got a win. I got two wins and I'm going to have three wins today!

Look at this. Look at these three beauties, they left Bruti inside..

The winners of this contest: The Dream Team, Brutus Beefcake and Greg "The Hammer" Valentine!

Well, Beefcake isn't celebrating the victory is he?

Am I on a roll or am I on a roll?

What's the matter with that idiot Beefcake? They got the win. What's he arguing about?

I don't know. A lot of dissension among the ranks of the Dream Team for sure.

Hey, they're leaving Beefcake!

Look at this! They're leaving Bruti behind.

They're leaving him! I can't believe this. What's the matter with Beefcake? What's the matter with him? He gets the winner's money!

What's the matter with Johnny V and the rest of his crew? Why are they leaving this guy behind?

I can't believe this. I can't believe Beefcake. He wins the match.

There they go. Special match upcoming. The adorable one, Adrian Adonis and Rowdy Roddy Piper. A lot of interesting things led up to this one.

How am I doing, Monsoon? Huh? How am I doing?

Horrible.

Ladies and gentlemen, at this time I would like to introduce to you a man who allegedly tells it like it is—Jesse "The Body" Ventura!

Hey, what are you talkin' about, "allegedly" tells it like it is. I am the man who tells it like it is!

Flagrant interference from the outside.

The Animal pushed him right off. I think the bell rang Savage in the head, Jess. But the champ still in control... [Savage attempts to body slam Steamboat, who grabs the leg and rolls into a small package] No, small package by the Dragon.

No!

He got him! I don't believe it! History is made!

You talk about a miscarriage of justice, Monsoon! Flagrant outside interference on the part of Animal Steele!

History made here in the Silverdome for WrestleMania III!

Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this contest...and NEW Intercontinental Champion: Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat!

Standing ovation by this capacity crowd, Elizabeth was in tears, Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat the new Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion.

Well, all I've got to say, Gorilla Monsoon, is that Steamboat'd better cut that belt in half and give half of it to George "The Animal" Steele, because without "Animal" Steele's flagrant interference, "Macho Man" Randy Savage would've won; he had Steamboat pinned for 30 or 40 seconds. Deny that.

But the referee was out of it, Jess. I'm not denying that fact.

Ladies and Gentleman, may I have your attention please? I have just been informed that we have a very special announcement and here to give the announcement is the World Wrestling Federation's own - Mean Gene Okerlund!

Alright, Ladies and gentlemen. We all are part of history in the making here this afternoon for WrestleMania III. I have come to the Silverdome, like you to be part of this historic date: March the twenty-ninth 1987. Thanks to our millions of fans all around the world, and a special thanks as we have established - all of us - a brand new indoor attendance record - of 93,173. Give yourself a big hand.

Wow!

93,173 here in the Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan.

Let's hear it!

History has indeed been made.

Bigger than the Rolling Stones.

You got that right.

Broke the record that the Rolling Stones set in New Orleans. 93,173 — Gorilla, did they count you and I in that, or is it 175?

I don't think they counted you and I, Jess.

Well then I think we should bump it up two more.

Ladies and gentleman, as a very special attraction of WrestleMania V, it is now time for Piper's Pit!

Oh, I'm gonna like this.

Without any further ado, let me introduce to you a man who needs no introduction. A man who hosts his very own talk show named after him. A man who thru thick and thin has never backed down from anyone. A man who pulls no punches and does things his way. A man who when you say 'Rowdy', there's only one....Ladies and gentlemen...

Oh there's the bagpipes.

Well, it's been a long time since we've seen the Rowdy one Gorilla.

I can't wait to get a look at him. {The curtain rises, but instead of Rowdy Roddy Piper, Brother Love appears. Wait a minute!

Ha ha!

That's not Piper.

That's Brother Love.

What's he doing with a kilt on? Come on.

Boy Gorilla, did you get taken for a ride on that one?

What is this, some kind of a joke or what?

Fooled you. Fooled Howard Finkel. Fooled everybody.

Take a look at those legs. Are we saying at this particular time that the Rowdy one is not gonna make an appearance?

I don't know. But he got scared of Brother Love.

I doubt that very much.

Well, where would Brother Love get that kilt from?

The same place he gets all those rings from.

Piper may be laying in the back beaten up by Brother Love.

Highly unlikely.

And on top of that, with no pants.

Aw please.

Or I should say no skirt.

I'm sure we'll find out very shortly what's going on obviously a change in the order of events as to who is supposed to come out first.

Apparently, it's no longer gonna be a pit. It's gonna be the Brother Love Show.

I...love...you...

He's talking to you Gorilla.

Yeah, well the feeling isn't mutual.

And welcome to the Brother Love show. And as my special guest, I have a very special guest. His name is Brother Rodney....Piper. [Brother Love sits down on one of the stools and continues] Brother Rodney, welcome to the Brother Love show. [Brother Love takes off his glasses, gets up and sits in the stool seated right next to him.]

He's not playing with a full deck.

Look.

[impersonating Rowdy Roddy Piper] Oh gosh Brother Love. You know, I gotta tell ya, it's a pleasure to be on your show. I watch ya every single week. Your on TV. Ya know, I love your show. I love it when ya say I love you just as much as you say you love me. I love it. I'm in awe.

Hey, not bad.

Got him with the boot!

Oh, he nailed him! [Hulk Hogan sets up for the Leg Drop]

Here it is!

He... [Hogan goes for the Leg Drop, but the Ultimate Warrior moves out of the way] Oh, he moved out of the way! [In the moment that Hogan is stunned, the Warrior bounces off the ropes and hits the splash] Look out, the big Splash! [counting along with the referee] One...

Two...

["Three"] He got him!

HE GOT HIM!

Unbelievable!

THE WARRIOR'S WON THE TITLE!

We have a new World Wrestling Federation Champion!

The winner of this bout, and NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion: the Ultimate Warrior!

This place has gone crazy!

UNBELIEVABLE, MONSOON! What a battle, both ways! Hogan missing the Leg Drop, the Warrior capitalizing on it, and getting the three-count just minuscule seconds before Hogan could kick out!

Another headbutt by the phenom (Jimmy Snuka), slingshot - oh, nice, [Undertaker catches Snuka in mid-air] but look!

Look at the strength of this man!

What a power move by the Undertaker. Never seen Superfly - oh - manhandled like this, look out! [He turns Snuka upside down] Tombstone city! [Undertaker hits the Tombstone Piledriver] NO! [Undertaker folds Snuka's arms and covers him] It's all over, Brain.

I don't believe it. That is "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka! [the referee counts three] That's impressive. RIP!

Here is your winner: The Undertaker!

What an impressive victory here in WrestleMania VII for that man, right there, The Undertaker.

He's not even sweating. Services for Mr. Snuka.

Uh-oh. [Slaughter is handed the flag of Iraq.]

What's this?

He's not going to plant that flag on the Hulk, is he? [he drapes it on Hulk Hogan and covers him] Oh no! Come on!

Give me a break here! [The referee counts, but Hogan kicks out at two] It's not over yet!

YES! Come on, Hulk!

He seizes the Iraqi flag!

[Hogan, on his knees, starts ripping up the flag] Hulkster tearing it to pieces. [Seeing Slaughter coming, he stops ripping the flag and begins to Hulk up] Slaughter comes in... oh, look at this!

[talking over Gorilla's last sentence] Uh-oh! Here he comes.

That man made a mistake, putting the flag on Hogan!

Come on, Hulk, get up!

[Hogan rises to his feet and parades around shaking his hair] That adrenaline flowing right now! The Hulkster seeing the crimson red! [Hogan had been cut open earlier in the match.]

AH! [Slaughter pounds him, but it has no effect on Hogan. Instead, Hogan points a finger at Slaughter]

Uh-oh!

That's it.

It could be it.

Here comes the warning.

[As he says this, Hogan blocks Slaughter's right hand and pounds him with three roundhouses. Then he whips Slaughter in and plants the Big Boot] "You're not going to do that to me; you're not going to do that to the United States of America, and the thousands of Hulkamaniacs." Irish whip and the Big Boot!

No! Not here, please!

[Hogan bounces off the ropes and hits the Leg Drop] OH!

Hulkster off with the Leg Drop! The cover... [Hogan covers Slaughter and gets three] He got him!

HE DID IT!

What a comeback!

He did it for the World Wrestling Federation, and for the United States of America!

What a comeback!

Are you happy?

I certainly am! History once again made here at WrestleMania VII - an unprecedented three-time winner of the World Wrestling Federation title.

[speaking over Gorilla] The winner of this bout, and the NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion: Hulk Hogan!

Undoubtedly, the most memorable night in Pay-Per-View history, and you are part of it. WHOA!

What a thrill to see this, Gorilla! Never seen anything like it. A great comeback! Fans are going crazy.

The gold once again around the waist of that incredible individual!

Tombstone City!

Oh, no!

This place has gone bananas!

I told you somebody is going to be hurt, and it's Jake "The Snake" Roberts. He broke his neck, Monsoon, I bet he broke his neck.

He wants him inside the ring.

He's out, he's cold, man, he is out. [The referee counts Undertaker's pin] 1, 2, 3.

Holy mackerel.

I've never seen Jake the Snake defeated that severely as I seen him at the hands of the Undertaker.

Here is your winner: The Undertaker!

How on earth are you gonna stop this guy?

Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner as a result of a disqualification: The Undertaker!

Oh come on! For what?

Ladies and gentleman, may I have your attention, please. The 60 minute time limit has expired. However, this match has been ordered to continue...

...under sudden death rules. There must be a winner.

It's not over! This capacity crowd buzzing. They've never seen anything quite like this, and you would only see it in the WWF... [Shawn Michaels loads up his boot...] Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Michaels steps - [and hits Sweet Chin Music on Bret Hart] he got it! He got all of it! Michaels got ALL OF IT! [Michaels pins Hart] MICHAELS WITH A COVER! [counting along with Earl Hebner] ONE, TWO, YES!

No!

Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this bout, and NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion: "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels!