Bobby Heenan quotes from WrestleMania

Two ugly people looking at each other. That's fun.

USE IT!! USE IT!! Waffle him with it! You know the old saying, what the hell use the bell! Hit him! Give it to me, I'll hit him!

You know that show of sportsmanship....the respect for each other, the enthusiasm they have....makes me sick!

All right, we're just moments away from the big one. When I say big, the battle of the titans. Big John Studd, Bobby Heenan, come in. Andre the Giant putting his entire career on the line.

Oh man, this bag is heavy man! This is what it was all about. $15,000 that we used for bait. John Studd, the only giant of wrestling. 7 foot plus, nearly 400 pounds of solid muscle. And this is what we wanted to prove to the whole world that I am the giant in a few short moments, along with this $15,000. You're going to see me in the ring and you're going to see the last match of Andrea because he retires if he can't do it.

Bobby Heenan, I'm just counting the money here.

You know what we did, just keep your hands to yourself here. For $15,000 and a haircut, we are eliminating Andre the Giant from professional wrestling. Oh yeah, a lot of glad-handlers out here today. Keep your hands out of there pal! Only two people are going to see this money. That's Studd and myself. Oh, three, the people at the bank when we deposit the money. But not the Giant.

Stand by! It's upcoming. [to Heenan] I know.

He's retired, he's done, he's done and don't you touch our money.

No more Hulkamania, no more Hulk this, Hulk that. It's Bundymania from now on.

Bundymania? It doesn't even sound good.

The weasel has just snuck into the broadcast booth. What are you doing here, Heenan?

Welcome to Wrestlemania III.

Thank you Jesse. First of all, I'll speak at any place. I am two for two, Monsoon! Two for two! Billy Jerk did not beat my man! As far as I'm concerned...

Well, your man didn't win either.

Just a minute, I'm talking 'cause I'm on a roll here! What happened was he knew he couldn't beat Hercules, so he kept him outside; as far as the Brain's concerned, that's a victory, we win that one! The King—you saw him in the chair, he left with the crown; the miserable Junkyard Dog, he bowed, he curtsied, he did everything we said he'd do! I am on a roll, I am 2-0

Bobby, I'd just like to say—and I went on the record with this—I thought that was the biggest cheap shot I'd ever seen, when the JYD hit the King Harley Race with that chair.

Let me clear something up here a minute, Brain. You're one-for-three in my book—you didn't win the Hernandez match, King Kong Bundy lost.

I wasn't out there for that match.

I don't care, he was still one of your men.

I don't care about midgets. I don't even deal with midgets. I don't like midgets. Forget that match. Talk about my career! What I am doing. I'm making history here at Pontiac Silverdome. 2-0!

I suppose you call that fair, Brain.

A win's a win. When you're at WrestleMania, you take what you can get. It's not easy. They got a win. I got two wins and I'm going to have three wins today!

Look at this. Look at these three beauties, they left Bruti inside..

The winners of this contest: The Dream Team, Brutus Beefcake and Greg "The Hammer" Valentine!

Well, Beefcake isn't celebrating the victory is he?

Am I on a roll or am I on a roll?

What's the matter with that idiot Beefcake? They got the win. What's he arguing about?

I don't know. A lot of dissension among the ranks of the Dream Team for sure.

Hey, they're leaving Beefcake!

Look at this! They're leaving Bruti behind.

They're leaving him! I can't believe this. What's the matter with Beefcake? What's the matter with him? He gets the winner's money!

What's the matter with Johnny V and the rest of his crew? Why are they leaving this guy behind?

I can't believe this. I can't believe Beefcake. He wins the match.

There they go. Special match upcoming. The adorable one, Adrian Adonis and Rowdy Roddy Piper. A lot of interesting things led up to this one.

How am I doing, Monsoon? Huh? How am I doing?

Horrible.

With me at this time, manager Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, and I'm privileged to be standing next to the most extraordinary athlete of all time. He is not elected until this date to challenge Hulk Hogan for the Heavyweight Championship, and this afternoon at WrestleMania III, Bobby Heenan, your man, André the Giant will be doing just that.

You bet he's going to be doing just that. He's going to become the heavyweight champion of the world and I'll tell you why. First of all, the man is undefeated in over 15 years as a professional athlete. Hulk Hogan has never been in the ring or met a man bigger than him, stronger than him, taller than him, that weighs more than him, and with a burning will inside more than Andre the Giant. You see Hogan, few short hours from now that clock is ticking, and it's ticking in our direction, not yours. Hulkamania is over. Hulkamania is dead. The doors going to be shut on the history books on Hulk Hogan once and for all. There is a new Heavyweight Champion of the world. The odds on favorite in Las Vegas and all over the whole wrestling world, they're picking Andre the Giant. Nobody can defeat this man. Nobody even can come close to defeating this man. And Hogan, I know it's happening to you now because it's happening to me. The butterflies are in my stomach. The adrenaline's flowing thru my veins and I'm getting ready, 'cause I'm gonna manage the Heavyweight Champion of the world. And Hogan, hey you've had three good years. You've got nothing to look back on. But it's all over. Andre the Giant, the new heavyweight champion of the world.

The biggest Heavyweight Title bout of all time. Andre the Giant to meet Hulk Hogan.

Andre the Giant, just moments away from your stepping through the ropes and into the ring to meet Hulk Hogan in the biggest title match of all time. I want to get your thoughts.

Gene, you see me now. And I'm going to the ring and believe me, it's not going to take me too long to come back right in front of the camera with the World Championship belt around my waist.

Bobby?

Oh I can feel it. Oh the adrenaline's going! This man right here is going to make me famous. He's going to become the Heavyweight Champion of the world, and I'm going to go down in the history books as the manager of the World's Heavyweight Champion. I'm ready. Hogan, you'd better be ready!

For what you did to that dog, the ASPCKGBY ought to be on you forever.

I don't have to take insults from you or anybody else. You talk about people writing in letters? You had over 700,000 votes to get into the Hall of Fame. You'd have had a lot more than that, but you ran out of stamps.

I'm standing here with the World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Champions: the awesome force of the Colostomy Connect...

Hey, hey, baldy, what did you call them?

The Colossal Connection!

No you didn't!

What did I say?

Never mind. But if you want to talk evacuation, fine. Because that's exactly where Demolition is headed.

Right.

They're headed straight to the treatment plant. And gentlemen, we know how we're going to treat them, don't we?

We're going to eliminate them! [Andre laughs evilly]

Come on! Let's get moving.

All right! The Colossal Connection—they're anything but regular guys.

I find that you're tougher to get along with than a mother-in-law on a weekend visit to my house.

Don't you concern yourself about getting along with me. I'm the easiest guy in the world to get along with; but when you're 540 lb., 7'4", and it takes two and a half hours for the blood to reach the brain, you don't think real right!

Wait a minute, Bobby Heenan, where do you have the bal— the nerve to hit Andre the Giant in the face?

I'll tell you where I got the nerve to hit Andre in the face. You take orders from me! I'm the head of the Family! You listen to me, you go to the top; you don't listen to me, you're never heard from again! You have just committed pal...........

What are you at a loss for words now?

No I'm not! We lost the championship! Because he stood on the apron, wouldn't get in the ring, wouldn't help Haku. Haku had to carry the load! I'm starting a new Heenan family. Ones that will listen to me...

Another headbutt by the phenom (Jimmy Snuka), slingshot - oh, nice, [Undertaker catches Snuka in mid-air] but look!

Look at the strength of this man!

What a power move by the Undertaker. Never seen Superfly - oh - manhandled like this, look out! [He turns Snuka upside down] Tombstone city! [Undertaker hits the Tombstone Piledriver] NO! [Undertaker folds Snuka's arms and covers him] It's all over, Brain.

I don't believe it. That is "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka! [the referee counts three] That's impressive. RIP!

Here is your winner: The Undertaker!

What an impressive victory here in WrestleMania VII for that man, right there, The Undertaker.

He's not even sweating. Services for Mr. Snuka.

[referring to Rowdy Roddy Piper, who injured his leg in a motorcycle accident prior to this event] "I've fallen and I can't get up."

Why don't you stop!

[on Kōji Kitao] Kitao needs to make a tag to Tenryu.

I think he should throw in the towel

What towel?

Kitowel.

Kitao is the guy's name.

Same to you.

You'd have trouble with his name if it was Fred.

His name's Fred Kitao? Silly name for a Japanese wrestler, Fred.