Uecker quotes from WrestleMania

It's Moolah! She's here! No wonder you guys are here all the time! The moon is full and so am I! I gotta get with Moolah! I'm leavin', see you guys later!

Introducing first: accompanied by himself...uh-uh—he's got the big boy with him, Andre the Giant. Here is the Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase.

Hey! You see what, hey!

What happened there?

Little Beaver just gave Bundy a shot in the boiler.

This is the main event of the evening. It is for the World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Championship. Scheduled for one fall with a one hour time limit. First, the challenger, accompanied by his manager, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. He hails from Grenoble in the French Alps. He weighs 520 pounds...Andre the Giant!

An awesome figure. The 7'5" frame of Andre the Giant who has literally been brainwashed by that man right there, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.

No, I disagree with you a little, Gorilla. The man has never had a championship title match. Don't you feel, in a 15-year illustrious career, that he should be granted one shot at the title?

Jess, the man never, #1, asked for a title match, and #2, never wanted a title match. To my knowledge.

[overlapping] He—never wanted it? Well, to your knowledge is wrong, because right here he's got one, and he definitely asked for it—he ripped the shirt off the champion, as well as the crucifix. I figure that's a direct way of asking for it.

Yeah, it certainly is, but all that came at the provocation of that guy right there with the white waiter's jacket on, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.

There he is: 7'5", 525, neck 24, chest 71, biceps 21, hands 16, wrists 11 inches, forearms 17, thighs 36, calves 22.

We could be looking at the next heavyweight champion of the world.

And I just gave you the tale of the tape!

And now his opponent. He is from Venice Beach, California...

Weighing in at 294 pounds. He is the World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Champion, Hulk Hogan!

The roof of the Silverdome about to explode here! As the Hulkster greets...and these 93,000 plus greet him. You're looking at the greatest professional athlete in the world today. The world's heavyweight champion.

For right now, Gorilla, he may not be a few moments from now. Let me run it down. Hogan: 6'8", 294, neck 21, chest 58, biceps at a phenomenal 24 inches, forearms 18, wrists 9 inches, hands 13 and a half, thighs 30 and a half, calves 20, the tale of the tape!

A phenomenal individual. And Hulkamania— look at it, Jess. It's alive, and running well.

You got 93,173 fans standing on their feet for this one, Gorilla, and I hope my voice holds up!

It's holding up just fine, Jess! And look at the Hulkster. What an unbelievable individual he is. And what a representative as the world's heavyweight champion.

This is the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling.

No question. This is the final time, Jess—win, lose or draw for the Hulkster—to wear that particular belt to the ring.

Look at this!

HE SLAMMED HIM!

[overlapping]: HE SLAMMED THE GIANT!

I DON'T BELIEVE IT! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

Hulk dropping the big leg! Over for the cover! [Hulk pins Andre] IT'S OVER!

HE GOT HIM! UNBELIEVABLE! I never thought it could be done Gorilla!

Neither did these 93,000 plus as the world's heavyweight champion, Hulk Hogan has proven to everyone what he's made of.

What can I say? I never thought it could be done, Gorilla Monsoon.

He's thanking the guy upstairs Jess, as he always does. Let's get the official announcement.

The winner of the bout, and still World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Champion — Hulk Hogan!!

Listen to the ovation. He is truly a Real American Jess.

What could I say? I'm the man who tells it like it is. I'll give credit where credit is due. I never thought the man could ever defeat Andre the Giant.

Never underestimate the ability of the World's Heavyweight Champion Hulk Hogan - he proved a lot of guys wrong Jesse.

That he did Gorilla.

You're looking at a tremendous individual. [Andre and Bobby Heenan prepare to leave the arena, but not before Andre threatens Hulk saying "I'll be back"]

That's the first time in 15 years that Andre the Giant had ever been defeated.

Ever been slammed for that matter Jesse.

Wow. And that's 525 lbs. and that's not dead barbell weight, that's 525 pounds of living flesh that he picked up and slammed.

Hey Uecker! I'll bet you never saw anything like this when you were in baseball!

Nah, this looks like the final day of cut down day in Spring Training!

[during the invitational battle royal] Dr. Frank Jobe would have a picnic at this thing.

Hey, Uecker, know something?

Yeah, what?

With your lifetime batting average of .200, that means with every swing, you could only hit one guy out of five.

Well, at least the guys that went out first got their per diem money.

Well...

You know what I mean?

Yes, I know.

It's the only way to go.

Please! I'm going to have trouble broadcasting with the Body and Uecker here.

[After Ken Patera eliminated Nikolai Volkoff, he gets Boris Zhukoff out as well] Hey U.S.A is in! Yes sir!

[Bad News Brown eliminates Patera from behind] Yeah there went U.S.A., Uecker.

For what you did to that dog, the ASPCKGBY ought to be on you forever.

I don't have to take insults from you or anybody else. You talk about people writing in letters? You had over 700,000 votes to get into the Hall of Fame. You'd have had a lot more than that, but you ran out of stamps.