Bobby Heenan quotes from WrestleMania

It's amazing that Lou Ferrigno can talk with 20 pounds of crackers in his mouth.

Will you stop?!!

Here we are, humanoids, in sunny California — Los Angeles, to be exact. And you've probably been reading in the papers, and everyone's been seeing on TV, this is the home of the great LAPD, Los Angeles Police Department. And you've all seen what transpired out here, how some little ham-and-egger was hiding in the bushes with his little home video camera and he happened upon this incident and took the pictures of it. Well, I've got a treat for you, because you see, I'm gonna give it to you for zip. All you gotta do is get out that rented sofa with the spring sticking up, go over and push your VCR button on Play; we'll furnish the cameraman, and then you can see our brand of justice, the way Mr. Perfect is gonna dish it out to that Barney Fife, the Big Bossman.

And I will guarantee you this, that you will not find Mr. Perfect giving the Big Bossman 56 free swipes at me, Bossman. Because I'm cool, I'm the Intercontinental Champion, I'm cool as a cat, Bossman. Most people in my position might be on edge, thinking they've gotta climb into the ring with a 300-pound maniac. Well, Big Bossman, I'm the champion — Intercontinental Champion. I have all the tools it takes to be a champion: I have Bobby "The Brain" Heenan in my corner, I have the right body, I have the right looks, the ability. I am what I say I am, and I say I'm... [turns around. On the back of his ring jacket it says "Perfect"]

[listening to the viewers] They're saying it, they're saying it.

[turns back around] There's only one, you're looking at him.

Uh-oh. [Slaughter is handed the flag of Iraq.]

What's this?

He's not going to plant that flag on the Hulk, is he? [he drapes it on Hulk Hogan and covers him] Oh no! Come on!

Give me a break here! [The referee counts, but Hogan kicks out at two] It's not over yet!

YES! Come on, Hulk!

He seizes the Iraqi flag!

[Hogan, on his knees, starts ripping up the flag] Hulkster tearing it to pieces. [Seeing Slaughter coming, he stops ripping the flag and begins to Hulk up] Slaughter comes in... oh, look at this!

[talking over Gorilla's last sentence] Uh-oh! Here he comes.

That man made a mistake, putting the flag on Hogan!

Come on, Hulk, get up!

[Hogan rises to his feet and parades around shaking his hair] That adrenaline flowing right now! The Hulkster seeing the crimson red! [Hogan had been cut open earlier in the match.]

AH! [Slaughter pounds him, but it has no effect on Hogan. Instead, Hogan points a finger at Slaughter]

Uh-oh!

That's it.

It could be it.

Here comes the warning.

[As he says this, Hogan blocks Slaughter's right hand and pounds him with three roundhouses. Then he whips Slaughter in and plants the Big Boot] "You're not going to do that to me; you're not going to do that to the United States of America, and the thousands of Hulkamaniacs." Irish whip and the Big Boot!

No! Not here, please!

[Hogan bounces off the ropes and hits the Leg Drop] OH!

Hulkster off with the Leg Drop! The cover... [Hogan covers Slaughter and gets three] He got him!

HE DID IT!

What a comeback!

He did it for the World Wrestling Federation, and for the United States of America!

What a comeback!

Are you happy?

I certainly am! History once again made here at WrestleMania VII - an unprecedented three-time winner of the World Wrestling Federation title.

[speaking over Gorilla] The winner of this bout, and the NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion: Hulk Hogan!

Undoubtedly, the most memorable night in Pay-Per-View history, and you are part of it. WHOA!

What a thrill to see this, Gorilla! Never seen anything like it. A great comeback! Fans are going crazy.

The gold once again around the waist of that incredible individual!

Boy, can Tito's sister belt one out!

Will you stop?!

That's Arriba McIntyre!

It is not!

WOOOOOOO!!!!!

[referring to Sensational Sherri] That's my pin-up girl!

I think you should see your occulist!

There's nothing wrong with my feet.

She is in love with that man.

Yeah, but is the feeling mutual?

Pardon?

Is the feeling mutual?

Oh, what do you think, she's there, isn't she? He doesn't allow any bim.... uh woman to be there...

Bimbo? Did you say bimbo?

I didn't say that, I coughed. I said "Buimmmh".

Highly unlikely that you're gonna pin anybody with a side headlock. In all my years I've never seen anyone pinned with a side headlock.

I've pinned a few people with it.

You???

Yes.

Where? In your dreams???

I can beat you...I can beat any man a million different ways. I had a guy give up one time during instructions.

Will you stop?!!

A hard-fought victory for that man right there, Shawn Michaels.

Someday he'll be wearing the gold representing the World Wrestling Federation. This man's the star of the '90s, Monsoon.

What would you do if you were The Hitman?

Well I'd have my agent buy it for me. And if that didn't work, I'd waffle him out back with a tire iron. I'd get it some way, any way I could.

I remember when I was champion Monsoon.

Champion of what?

The neighborhood! I had the prettiest date the whole block that month. Oh, you should have seen her.

The only gold you ever had was in your teeth!

Virgil, of course had his nose busted by Sid "Insane" Justice.

I thought he had plastic surgery. What an improvement.

Why don't you stop?

Maybe Elizabeth can go on Love Connection and get a date. Then again I think she's been on that show.

Will you stop?!!

I have a special announcement: Shawn Michaels has left the building.

Who cares?!

I'll do it again, if you wanna hear it.

You know, if you want to be fair to Flair, you've gotta be fair and say that's a heckuva robe. Only a man as fair as Flair, would show up at Wrestlemania....

WILL YOU STOP?!

Monsoon, I just got back from talking with Ric Flair. I'm going to make a statement. I'm going to make it now. I'm going to make it clear and to the point. You saw it, I saw it, millions and millions of people saw it; Savage had a fistful of trunks when he used it to pin Ric Flair. Now, a lesser person would quit, they would scream, they would make excuses; we are going to regroup and we're going to get the title back. It's just a matter of time. If we're going to be upset; if we're going to act emotional; well then, we're going to defeat ourselves. We're going to look at this as a positive message, and we are going to go forward and we're going to take that title and we're going to take Mr Savage out eventually. It's just a matter of time. End of conservation.

Yeah? And how many of you will it take to do that?

It doesn't matter Monsoon, we'll get the job done.

Mr...Mr Perfect spent as much time in the ring as Ric Flair did!

You discuss that with them. I'm a broadcast journalist...

You're a liar!

I'm a financial advisor...

You're a liar!

...and I'm going to sit here and do my job like the gentlemen I am.

You're a liar!

And if you don't like it, you can get outta here...

You're a liar!

...and take your microphone and your headset and you know what you can do with them (now getting hysterical) 'cause you're not going to get me upset!!

You are upset.

You understand me?! You're not going to get me upset!

Don't jump, it's a long way down!

Put 'em up! [Gorilla scoffs] Put 'em up!

Boy oh boy, the Brain has really lost it folks.