Jaye Tyler quotes from Wonderfalls

Jaye

[to melted Wax Lion] Tell me why. Why make me make the man I love re-marry his hussy bride? How is that helpful? Who does that benefit besides the hussy, 'cause I'm not in the business of benefitting hussies.

Jaye

Of course she's not pressing charges. Murderers don't press charges. It calls unwanted attention to themselves.

Jaye

I make good life choices — mostly because they’re forced on me — but I make them, and I find myself in unpleasant situations all the time. You know why? Because even if you have a choice it can and will be taken away from you. We’re all fate’s bitch. You might as well go ahead and bend over for destiny now.

Did you end up over-educated and unemployable like you said in the yearbook?

Jaye

Yep.

Sharon

You tell people we're not related.

Jaye

It was just that one time.

Sharon

It was Grandpa's wake!

Eric

Why do they always sacrifice the pretty ones?

Jaye

I guess killing pretty people is easier than killing ugly people. Although, you'd think the opposite would be true.

You're not supposed to steal!

Jaye

You're not supposed to talk to strangers. Piss off!

Did you end up over-educated and unemployable like you said in the yearbook?

Jaye

Yep.

Sharon

You tell people we're not related.

Jaye

It was just that one time.

Sharon

It was Grandpa's wake!

Eric

Why do they always sacrifice the pretty ones?

Jaye

I guess killing pretty people is easier than killing ugly people. Although, you'd think the opposite would be true.

You're not supposed to steal!

Jaye

You're not supposed to talk to strangers. Piss off!

Karen

Honey, you should go in there.

Jaye

Me?

Karen

Otherwise, I'll have to.

Eric

So, did you defy the chicken?

Jaye

Uh-huh.

Eric

And how'd that work out for ya?

Jaye

I think I may have killed a man.

Eric

Oh. So not as well as we'd hoped then?

Bianca

[to store customers] Come again!

Jaye

Don't encourage them.

Bianca

I thought I saw those motion lamps in the back.

Jaye

Exactly, in the back, up on a high shelf. If one of us were to fall it would affect workers comp rates, we're not only protecting our employer... but small businesses everywhere.