Jennifer Marlowe quotes from WKRP in Cincinnati

Jennifer

Why Herb, this is a really fine French wine!

Herb

Is it? Well, I told the guy to give me the best he's got in the store without going over fourteen bucks.

Jennifer

You're Les' fiancée?

Mm hmm.

Jennifer

Uh huh. Does Les know about this?

Les

Why are we all here on this planet?

Jennifer

As opposed to where, Les?

Les

Everybody around here thinks I'm crazy! Fortunately, you know better than that.

Jennifer

[silence]

Les

Fortunately, you know better than that.

Les

[about Jennifer's house] My great aunt Eureka Nessman lived in a house very like this once, all alone. She had a little parakeet and she used to let it fly free throughout the house.

Jennifer

Really?

Les

Then she bought another parakeet, and another, and more and more until finally there were thousands of parakeets. And the mess they made was beyond belief. Aunt Eureka had gone insane of course, living all alone in a house very much like this one.

Jennifer

So there we are standing at my front door, and he says, "Jennifer, some women would feel obligated after flying to New Orleans on a private jet and a moonlight dinner on a Mississippi riverboat, but I prefer a challenge. Someone who's interested in me, and not my money."

Bailey

What'd you do?

Jennifer

Well, I wished him luck, kissed him on his bald spot and wheeled him to his car.

Bailey

Well, we could play Strip Monopoly. You could give us your coat, Herb!

Herb

Huh?

Jennifer

That's fine. I'll take the coat.

Bailey

Guess which item of apparel comes next?

Jennifer

Whoo!

Herb

Is this what women's liberation is all about? Humiliation?

Bailey

No. We just heard you had great legs.

Herb

[smiles and starts to unbutton his coat] Who told you?

Bailey

Les.

Jennifer

Johnny Fever has come into a great deal of money.

That soft drink machine break again?

Herb

Hey, Jenny, I didn't get a chance to tell you how sorry I am that that Colonel guy bought the farm. Hey, he had a long life, a lot of dough, he got to go out with you, caught the big bus while he was eating in the best joint in town. Not bad, if you ask me!

Jennifer

[Smiling] Sometimes I really like you, Herb. You really have a way with words.

Herb

Hey. I'm in sales!

[on the phone] Thank you very much! It's nice talking to you too! Bye!

Jennifer

Who was that?

My mom.

Jennifer

Really!

Yeah. She was pleasant! No guilt feelings! Something's wrong, of course. She's dying.

Les

Are you trying to tell me that I'm not worthy of Lorraine?

Jennifer

No, I'm trying to tell you that Lorraine is not worthy of you.

Les

She cost $200.

Jennifer

No, she charges $200. Les, I'm talking about the oldest profession.

Les

Lorraine's a farmer?

Johnny

Travis, you should've heard Bailey with the news. It's the first time it ever made sense.

Jennifer

I like when Les does it. It's always so surreal.