Les Nessman quotes from WKRP in Cincinnati

Les

[pointing at the stairs] Do these lead upstairs?

Johnny

It depends on which way you're going.

Les

What is an executrix?

Herb

I don't know. High heels and a whole lot of leather, something like that.

Les

Monster lizard ravages east coast! Mayors in five New England cities have issued emergency requests for federal disaster relief as a result of a giant lizard that descended on the east coast last night! Officials say that this lizard, the worst since '78, has devastated transportation, disrupted communication, and left many hundreds homeless!

Johnny

Monster lizard?

Les

The wire service never lies!

Johnny

Les, the "B" is out on the printer! It's monster blizzard!

Les

Are you trying to tell me that I'm not worthy of Lorraine?

Jennifer

No, I'm trying to tell you that Lorraine is not worthy of you.

Les

She cost $200.

Jennifer

No, she charges $200. Les, I'm talking about the oldest profession.

Les

Lorraine's a farmer?

Les

Officer Shanks, explain fire.

What?

Les

Exactly why do things burn?

What kind of a station is this?

Les

The phones are dead! The phones are dead!

Venus

Not now, Les!

Les

Well, shouldn't we call somebody?