Welcome Back, Kotter quotes
73 total quotesKotter: Where's my wife?
Nurse: Well, she's in the labor room.
Horshack: Labor room? They're making her work at a time like this?
Nurse: Well, she's in the labor room.
Horshack: Labor room? They're making her work at a time like this?
Kotter: You went to the library where they keep the books?
Vinnie: Yeah. And for three whole days we spent lookin' up what you call legal 'presidents'.
Vinnie: Yeah. And for three whole days we spent lookin' up what you call legal 'presidents'.
Lyle: Gabe, all through school I wanted to be a Sweathog, but dirt never stuck to me. I was... too perfect.
Mary Frances: It's lovely being perfect.
Lyle: It's boring being perfect. It's boring being rich. I have five boring bedrooms.
Mary Frances: Am I included in those five boring bedrooms?
Lyle: Mary Frances, no one has a headache for seven years!
Mary Frances: It's lovely being perfect.
Lyle: It's boring being perfect. It's boring being rich. I have five boring bedrooms.
Mary Frances: Am I included in those five boring bedrooms?
Lyle: Mary Frances, no one has a headache for seven years!
Ms. Helms: Mr. Epstein just doesn't have the numbers! I have no other answer for him!
Kotter: Yeah? Well, I have an answer for you, lady--up your nose with your computer hose! And twice as far with a chocolate bar!
Kotter: Yeah? Well, I have an answer for you, lady--up your nose with your computer hose! And twice as far with a chocolate bar!
Vinnie: I ain't gonna hurt any old relics. Not even Mr. Woodman.
Woodman: Get bent, Barbarino!
Woodman: Get bent, Barbarino!
Vinnie: I feel like this is just the beginning. Today, Buchanan, tomorrow, who knows? Governor Barbarino, Senator Barbarino, Emperor Barbarino! [Sweathogs cheer] You know, Julius Caesar was an Italian.
Vinnie: I figure you only go 'round once in your life, right? So why go 'round the 11th grade twice?
Vinnie: I got my own idea of what God is like: I know he's a sharp dresser, and he's good-looking, and of course he's Italian.
Freddie: Yeah? Well, if you ask me, all that stuff about harps is a lot of jive. God is backed up by a jazz rhythm section. He got a piano, a bass guitar, and a drummer with a good right foot.
Freddie: Yeah? Well, if you ask me, all that stuff about harps is a lot of jive. God is backed up by a jazz rhythm section. He got a piano, a bass guitar, and a drummer with a good right foot.
Vinnie: I happen to know this girl. She's a little too, uh, old for me. She's nineteen. But believe me, she's ready to trot!
Kotter: Ready to trot?
Vinnie: Yeah.
Kotter: Then take her out to Yonkers Raceway.
Kotter: Ready to trot?
Vinnie: Yeah.
Kotter: Then take her out to Yonkers Raceway.
Vinnie: I went to a wax museum once. I saw Raquel Welch. You know that that wax comes right off in your hands?
Kotter: Next time wear gloves.
Kotter: Next time wear gloves.
Vinnie: Mr. Woodman, why don't you take a couple days off and go hang gliding? It's good weather for it: no wind.
Vinnie: You know, Mr. Kotter, prayer is good for you.
Kotter: Oh, I know that, Vinnie, I know. I prayed all morning, the whole time I was on the subway comin' to work. I prayed that we'd get to my stop before the two guys who were kickin' the conductor noticed me.
Kotter: Oh, I know that, Vinnie, I know. I prayed all morning, the whole time I was on the subway comin' to work. I prayed that we'd get to my stop before the two guys who were kickin' the conductor noticed me.
Vinnie: You scratch my back, I scratch yours.
Kotter: I can't do that. You see, my wife has an exclusive on my entire body. She'd be disturbed if I came home with a pre-scratched back.
Kotter: I can't do that. You see, my wife has an exclusive on my entire body. She'd be disturbed if I came home with a pre-scratched back.
Vinnie: You're not our friend. You're nothing but a teacher.
Kotter: Why can't I be your teacher and your friend?
Epstein: It don't work that way, Kotter. You see, in this vast universe of ours, people are divided into two groups, us and them. You're them.
Kotter: Why can't I be your teacher and your friend?
Epstein: It don't work that way, Kotter. You see, in this vast universe of ours, people are divided into two groups, us and them. You're them.
Woodman: [about Epstein's drawing] At last I've got something to nail one of you Sweathogs!
Horshack: Oh, but Mr. Woodman, Rembrandt painted plenty of nudes.
Woodman: Well, I wanna see Rembrandt in my office, too!
Season 3
Horshack: Oh, but Mr. Woodman, Rembrandt painted plenty of nudes.
Woodman: Well, I wanna see Rembrandt in my office, too!
Season 3