Welcome Back, Kotter quotes
73 total quotesWoodman: [about Kotter and the Sweathogs] They do a lot of pretending in that class. They pretend to be students; he pretends to be a teacher.
Woodman: A fine young lady like you doesn't belong with Sweathogs.
Jenny: Oh, yeah? In your horn with an ear of corn!
Woodman: She's a Sweathog!
Jenny: Oh, yeah? In your horn with an ear of corn!
Woodman: She's a Sweathog!
Woodman: I'm breaking up the Sweathogs. It's like breaking up the old Yankees. You thought you had me, didn't you? Two outs, bottom of the ninth, but old Woodman hit a home run, and I win! I win, Kotter!
Kotter: How long have you been without your medication, Mr. Woodman?
Kotter: How long have you been without your medication, Mr. Woodman?
Woodman: Now today, we will discuss the Revolutionary War. Now, who can tell me where that war started? Mr. Washington?
Freddie: Right. [whispers to Kotter] What's the answer?
Kotter: [whispering] Lexington and--
Freddie: Right. [stands up, clears throat] Lexington Avenue. Probably near 129th Street, by that barbecue, man. It's a tough neighborhood. A lot of wars went on over there.
Freddie: Right. [whispers to Kotter] What's the answer?
Kotter: [whispering] Lexington and--
Freddie: Right. [stands up, clears throat] Lexington Avenue. Probably near 129th Street, by that barbecue, man. It's a tough neighborhood. A lot of wars went on over there.
Woodman: Now, now, now, Juan, you hot-blooded young turk!
Epstein: I'm a Puerto Rican Jew!
Woodman: Same thing. Your blood is hot.
Epstein: I'm a Puerto Rican Jew!
Woodman: Same thing. Your blood is hot.
Woodman: Teaching this class is about as much fun as root canal work.
Epstein: I thought all the routes to your canal dried up a long time ago!
Epstein: I thought all the routes to your canal dried up a long time ago!
Woodman: The world is divided into two parts--us and them. They're them! And come to think of it, you're them too.
Kotter: Yeah? Well, thank you. [in Groucho voice] That's the nicest remark I ever hoid.
Kotter: Yeah? Well, thank you. [in Groucho voice] That's the nicest remark I ever hoid.
[Epstein and Freddie bring the blackboard from the class into the Kotters' apartment]
Kotter: You guys can't do things like this. It's against the law. It's robbery! It's five to ten!
Epstein: [holding an alarm clock] Nah, its ten to ten.
Freddie: Hey, besides, we tend to think of it as... creative borrowing.
Kotter: You guys can't do things like this. It's against the law. It's robbery! It's five to ten!
Epstein: [holding an alarm clock] Nah, its ten to ten.
Freddie: Hey, besides, we tend to think of it as... creative borrowing.
[Epstein brings a satchel to watch the lottery drawing]
Kotter: Epstein, what's that satchel for?
Epstein: It's for the money. What am I gonna do, stuff 250 G's in my pocket?
Freddie: Hey, Juan, um, they gonna give us a check.
Epstein: Oh, no, I don't take checks. Checks bounce.
Kotter: Well, this one's gonna be from New York State.
Epstein: Especially those!
Kotter: Epstein, what's that satchel for?
Epstein: It's for the money. What am I gonna do, stuff 250 G's in my pocket?
Freddie: Hey, Juan, um, they gonna give us a check.
Epstein: Oh, no, I don't take checks. Checks bounce.
Kotter: Well, this one's gonna be from New York State.
Epstein: Especially those!
[Epstein gives Kotter a note from the principal saying that he was in conference with him]
Kotter: What are you trying to do to me, Epstein? I know the man's handwriting. This note is legitimate!
Epstein: Well, in baseball, it's called a change-up, you know? Keeps the hitter guessin'!
Kotter: What are you trying to do to me, Epstein? I know the man's handwriting. This note is legitimate!
Epstein: Well, in baseball, it's called a change-up, you know? Keeps the hitter guessin'!
[Kotter and Julie are changing the babies]
Kotter: How come I always get the wet one?
Julie: Oh, she's just showing off for Daddy.
Kotter: We gotta break her of this habit before she starts dating.
Kotter: How come I always get the wet one?
Julie: Oh, she's just showing off for Daddy.
Kotter: We gotta break her of this habit before she starts dating.
[Kotter asks Freddie where his report card is]
Freddie: My momma's got it, you dig? Yeah!
Kotter: I dig it! Didn't she sign it?
Freddie: Heh, no. She just took it in her left hand, and then she hit me upside my head with her right. See, man, and then, and then, she threw a chair at me. And then she tried to cave my back in with a TV set!
Kotter: All right, all right, have your father sign it.
Freddie: You crazy? He's the one with the bad temper!
Freddie: My momma's got it, you dig? Yeah!
Kotter: I dig it! Didn't she sign it?
Freddie: Heh, no. She just took it in her left hand, and then she hit me upside my head with her right. See, man, and then, and then, she threw a chair at me. And then she tried to cave my back in with a TV set!
Kotter: All right, all right, have your father sign it.
Freddie: You crazy? He's the one with the bad temper!
[Kotter comes in the class after the bell rings]
Vinnie: You're late.
Freddie: That's your fourth tardy this semester.
Epstein: Did you bring a note from your mommy? [Horshack laughs]
Gabe: Boy, what an honor, in my class, all four Marx brothers: Wacko, Stupo, Jerko, and Dummo.
Vinnie: You're late.
Freddie: That's your fourth tardy this semester.
Epstein: Did you bring a note from your mommy? [Horshack laughs]
Gabe: Boy, what an honor, in my class, all four Marx brothers: Wacko, Stupo, Jerko, and Dummo.