[yawns] Good morning, chute. [the chute opens] Hello?! Hey, don't ignore me, chute! Rude! [a black shadow rols down the chute and hits Young Panda]
Aaaah! [hides in the bushes and peeks out] What the? [walks toward a stuff Panda bear] Am I supposed to eat this?! [licks the stuff Panda] Bleech! Gross! [picks up a stick and move the stuff Panda; gasp] Hey, quit laughing! You scared me! Plus, I almost ate you! Hmph! :[pause and Young Panda starts laughing]
I guess it was a little bit funny. [grunts] My name is Panda 1. [puts on his collar] See?
[The collar says "Panda 1"]
So that must make you Panda Two! Nice to meet you! Wanna hang out?
[The camera zooms over to Panda 2]
[That night]
Panda Two, I'm glad you're here with me lookin' up at this beautiful sky together!
[The glow-in-the-dark star sticker falls off]
Oh! A falling star! Quick, let's make a wish! I wish I wish we could go play in the magic box!
[Panda 2 cannot talk]
What?! But we can't actually do that.
[Panda 2 still cannot talk]
You have a plan?! Well, I dunno That sounds dangerous! [The camera zooms over to Panda 2] Oh. Well said, Panda Two! You can't argue when you put it like that! Okay, magic box, here we come! [yawns] After I get my eight hours of beauty rest.
[Young Panda falls asleep with Panda 2]
BBBrody Brogan
Now, let's get to know our bros. Bears, tell us about yourselves.
Well, I'm happily self-unemployed, taking care of my two baby bros.
And I am single and ready to mingle.
[Silent; a guy in the audience coughs]
BBBrody Brogan
[chuckles] How about our next group of guys?
GGriff
Hey, what's up? I'm Griff. I'm a renegade cop who protects the streets and keeps them clean.
IIssac
Issac is a five-star chef.
TTom
And I have a girlfriend!
[The audience cheers and applause]
[The screen is black]
[Ice Bear opens his eyes]
[echoing] Shh. He's waking up.
[Ice Bear closes his eyes]
Bro? [Ice Bear opens his eyes again] Little bro? You okay?
[Ice Bear got a red lump on his head]
Ice... [Grizzly and Panda lean in closer to Ice Bear] Ice... [clamps both paws on his head] Oh, man, I need some ice for my head.
[Grizzly and Panda gasp and back away, shocked to hear Ice Bear talking in first person]
[stands up while rubbing the lump on his head] Oh, jeez, that really did a number on me. Boy, I sure hate it when that happens. Hey, am I right? You know, like, sometimes you can just be walking. "I'm going here, I'm going there, I'm minding my own business." Then, Bam! Unconscious. You guys know what I mean, right? [Grizzly and Panda stare in disbelief at Ice Bear, look at each other and then back at Ice Bear] No? Hey, maybe it's just me. Boy, nothing like almost dying to get your appetite going, though. [pat Grizzly's right shoulder] Cool. All right, I'm gonna go grab some lunch. Stay cool, bros. [steps over the hammer] Oh, whoa, shouldn't leave tools around. Someone could get hurt - again. [winks his eye] Ha.
[Baby Grizz is taken to the principal's office]
BPBaby Panda
[to Baby Ice Bear] Oh, man, maybe Grizz did so well that he's getting some sort of prize.
RRonnie
No way, you guys. Going to the principal's office is like practically a death sentence.
[Moby draws a hangman with the letters "GRIZZ" on a piece of paper, and does a death expression. Baby Panda gasps]
RRonnie
Yeah, he takes you into his dungeon of an office, a dark, old place where you can't hear the laughter of another kid for miles. [in another scene, Baby Grizz writes lines on chalkboards under the principal's supervision, until the former turns into chalk himself] He makes you write lines and lines on four giant chalkboards while he just sits there on his throne, watching you, making you write in chalk until you become the chalk. [The principal laughs evilly in the room of children that were turned into chalk, one of which breaks after it falls onto the floor.]
BPBaby Panda
[back in the classroom] Oh, my gosh! [to Baby Ice Bear] Bro, we have to rescue Grizz before it's too late. You have any plans in mind?
[Baby Ice Bear shows Baby Panda a mini-mine made from pencils and glue.]
BPBaby Panda
Maybe something a little less harmful. [puts down the mini-mine]
RRonnie
Hey, we want to help you guys.
BPBaby Panda
You don't still think we're lame?
RRonnie
No way. You guys are cool. Besides, the principal has tortured one too many students. It's time to take down that tyrant once and for all.
BPBaby Panda
Yay! Ooh. But how are we gonna get to the principal's office?
RRonnie
Oh, we got a plan.
[Ice Bear gasps] WHAAAT?! [Panda continues to fiddle with the console in hopes of steering the ship back to Earth] Wait. This is for real?! We're actually in space?! There's got to be some way to turn this thing around, right?
[the ship steers to the direction of Earth...]
PGPanda/Grizzly
Yeah!/Whoo-hoo!
[...then to the direction of the Sun.]
[The bears scream as they prepare to go into the Sun.]
[The bears run away from the console] D'oh. There's got to be another way out. Oh, geez, oh, geez, oh, geez. [covers his eyes] Guys, I'm so sorry for dragging you into this.
Yeah, no time, Panda, okay? [they find an escape pod] Look! An escape pod! Come on!
[Grizz and Ice Bear hop into the escape pod, but it can hold only two people]
Aw, nuts. [they both turn around] Uh, there's not enough room for all of us. [Panda closes the pod] Got to find a... Huh? [muffled] Panda! Wait. What are you doing?
[Panda breaths heavily, and launches the pod]
PANDA, NO! [inside the pod] Panda! Panda! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! [Panda turns on the monitor to communicate with Grizz and Ice Bear] Aah!
Hey. Hello? Bros, I-I don't know if this thing is on, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry it's ending like this... and for being selfish. You guys might mess stuff up sometimes, sure, but you're just being you.
And you know what? That's what I love about you. So I guess this is goodbye, bros. [touches the camera with his right paw, Grizz also touches the monitor where Panda's paw is] Take care of Miki-chan.
Panda? Panda? [monitor goes static, and soon there is no more signal.]
[both Grizz and Ice Bear cry] No! Panda!
[in the last moments, Panda looks up, and tearfully shuts his eyes as the ship goes into the Sun...]
[Ice Bear and Darrell are in the mouse pad store searching for the latter's vows]
DDarrell
[digs through a box of mouse pads] Where could those vows be? I was writing them here at the store. [goes to the cashier] Ah, typical Darrell, losing the vows minutes before the wedding. What does Sofia even see in a bozo like me? OH, it's hopeless! [frustrated, he resigns to his desk in vain]
Ice Bear can get some vows at the black market.
DDarrell
There's no time.
[thinks for an idea, then turns back to Darrell] Darrell will make time. Sofia making time to spend life with Darrell.
Darrell will be there for Sofia. Darrell will care for Sofia. Darrell will sail to end of earth for... [gives him a pen]
DDarrell
Oh, thanks. [writes on a pad as Ice Bear continues]
...sail to end of earth for Sofia. Darrell and Sofia [looks up] are forever.
DDarrell
And got it. Thanks. You, sir, are a gift to this world.
DDarrell
[walks to Ice Bear] All right. Let's get out of here and [elated] GET TO MY WEDDING!
[The bears walk out the door and look up to find their new mom they have ordered jumping down from a helicopter. She lands so hard, the bears cough from the flying dust. They look up and watch with awe as their new buff mom introduces herself]
GPGrizzly and Panda
Whoa!
TTank
[removes her helmet and throws it to a side] Hey! I'm your new mom, Tank! You kids like basketball?
[As the bears look on, Tank dribbles the basketball and makes a giant leap, dunks the ball while touching the backboard by her legs and lands back to the ground]
[run around Tank in jubilation] Whoo-hoo!
Crazy! Where did you learn to dunk like that?!
Teach us how to dunk, please!
TTank
[takes the basketball from Grizz and spins it] Well, I'm afraid I can't do that. [steps towards the bears] You bears are too weak and puny! [refers to herself] You gotta get buff. Like me! Now, drop and give me 30!
TTank
[goes behind the bears] Come on, now! I'm gonna whip you boys into shape! [pushes the bears into doing push-ups]
[The bears groan as they do the push-ups]
TTank
That's enough. [gets the bears to stand] 30 laps! Let's go, let's go, let's go! Yeah! [The bears proceed to run around the outside of the cave] Feel the burn! Come on! Move it!
[The screen is black]
TPT-Pain
Yo! Wakey-wakey! [Panda's eyes open to a man in the middle of a mist] Hey, Hey. Hey, man. You okay?
Wha... Where... [scrolls his eyes around] What...? Have people told you that you look like T-Pain?
TPT-Pain
Yeah, man, all the time - probably because I am T-Pain.
[gasps in surprise] What? No way! [sits up] Oh, man, Mr. Pain, I am such a huge fan!
TPT-Pain
[laughs] Hey, man, be cool, be cool. Please, man, call me "T."
[chuckles] Okay, T. [looks around] Um, T, am I in heaven?
TPT-Pain
Nah, bro. [The mist clears as he laughs to reveal the living space of a tour bus] You're on my tour bus, dude!
Oh. [they both get up] Wait, isn't the concert in the other direction?
TPT-Pain
[takes out a remote control] Yeah, but I forgot my phone, so we were, like, headed back to my house to pick it up until the tour bus stopped right in front of you. [turns on the CCTV footage of Panda screaming; when the tour bus stops, he faints] And that's when you fainted.
[in disbelief] Ugh, this is the worst day of my life.
TPT-Pain
Nah, man, [nudges Panda] it's cool. Come on, let me give you a tour of the place. [they proceed inside]
[Plays the video, "Scared By Cucumbers"]
Yo, Internet! We back at it again at the bear cave.
We just found out that our bro is freaked out by cucumbers! [laughs as Grizz shows a cucumber] Check it out.
[Ice Bear is chopping onions in the kitchen. Grizzly places a cucumber near him. Ice Bear turns around, surprised by the sight of the cucumber and flies away as the music plays; Grizz and Panda laugh]
[Outside the bathroom]
[places a cucumber on the floor] Cuke boys.
[Ice Bear comes out after having a shower, and opens the door. He is shocked to find the cucumber and quickly flees, as the music plays again and more laughter is heard]
[Grizzly and Panda run around the cave with another cucumber]
[Ice Bear is sitting on the sofa playing a video game. Behind him, Panda snickers as he drops the cucumber on the sofa]
[offscreen; snickering as well] Nothing.
[Ice Bear turns to his left. He shrieks when he finds the cucumber there, jumps to the ceiling and climbs away, with music playing again and more laughter]
[A cucumber is put on the table] Okay, up until now, we've been using a cucumber, [tilts the camera to show Grizzly with a jar of pickles] but what about pickles!
[As Ice Bear is shaving, Grizz drops a pickle from the bathtub. Ice Bear finds the pickle and proceeds to eat it, to Grizz's disbelief]
[the same cucumber] Just cucumbers, then.
[Ice Bear is fixing the vacuum as a cucumber rolls on the floor to the right.]
[whispers] Do it. [Another cucumber rolls to the left] Do more, do more, do a lot more! [Five more cucumbers roll. Ice Bear looks to his right, and freaks out as he tries to shun the cucumbers but stumbles as music plays again and more laughter is heard. As he leaves from sight, the vacuum starts to fly (Panda: The vacuum!)]
Okay, wait. [giggling] Why, wait. We just had a great idea. [to Grizzly] Check this out.
[Ice Bear is preparing dinner as Panda, dressed in a cucumber outfit, walks in from behind with Grizz laughing from behind the camera]
Ice Bear is preparing di- [taken aback to find Panda's cucumber outfit and throws him out of the cave; Panda screams as he is sent flying through the window]
[at the hospital; Panda is severely injured] Hey, um... Well, I hope you liked the video. [Panda groans] Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe. [A "PLZ DONATE" button appears on screen] Or donate to help us pay for our hospital fees.
[Panda is revealed to have survived the zombie attack, and tries to serve the others who have turned into zombies salad]
[serves a bowl to Ice Bear] Okay, here's your vegan Thai salad, [serves another salad to Grizz] and here's yours. Enjoy.
[shoves his bowl off the table] Brains.
[throws his bowl away] BRAINNNS!!
What? You guys need to eat your veggies! You can't just have brains all the time!
[appears from outside the kitchen] Brains?
[irritated] Ugh! Why am I allergic to a hundred things but immune to zombies?!
