Vision quotes from WandaVision

Vision

[being torn apart from leaving the Hex] Help! The people need help!

Vision

My wife and her flying saucers.

Wanda Maximoff

My husband and his indestructible head.

Vision

Would you be so good as to tell me what it is we do here, exactly? Do we make something?

No.

Vision

Right. Do we buy or sell something?

No and no.

Vision

Then what is the purpose of this company?

All I know is, since you've gotten here, productivity has gone up 300%.

Vision

Yes, but what is it we're producing?

Computational forms. And no one can process the data quite like you do, pal. You're like a walking computer.

Vision

What? I most certainly am not! I'm a regular carbon-based employee made entirely of organic matter, much like yourself, Norm.

Wanda Maximoff

We are an unusual couple, you know?

Vision

Oh, I don't think that was ever in question.

Vision

I do. Do you?

Wanda Maximoff

Yes. I do.

Vision

And they lived happily ever after.

Vision

[practicing a talent-show magic act] Wanda, you're not at all worried that the audience might just see through this little charade?

Wanda Maximoff

Well, that's the whole point! In a real magic act, everything is fake! Darling, the talent show fundraiser is the most important event of the season, and it's our neighborly duty to participate. Plus, it's our chance to appear as normal as possible while doing so.

Vision

[pointing to his android face] Well, I don't think that should be a problem.

Wanda Maximoff

This is our home now. I want us to fit in.

Vision

Hello, Westview! Good afternoon. It's so lovely to be ...[bumping into a handrail] I'm so sorry. Excuse me. I am Glamour, and this is my delightful assistant, Illusion.

Wanda Maximoff

I am Glamour and he's Illusion.

Vision

Yeah, what she said. Today, we will lie to you, and yet you will believe our little deceptions because human beings are easily fooled due to their limited understanding of the inner workings of the universe.

We let the little ladies keep tabs on their growing babies with fruit. Makes it simple for them. [Wanda grimaces at the sexism] At four months, the fetus is about as big as a pear. At five months, a papaya. Six, grapefruit. Seven, pineapple. Eight, honeydew.

Vision

Hypothetically speaking, what size fruit would it be at, say, hmm, twelve hours?

[confused] Uh, pardon? Twelve hours?

Wanda Maximoff

[brightly] Well, I think this line of questioning is 'fruitless'. [chuckles]

Vision

Huh. Strangest thing just happened outside with... [turns to see Wanda's bump has grown larger] Whoa, Nelly! Have you gotten bigger?!

Wanda Maximoff

Have I?

Wanda Maximoff

[continuing, looking down] I can't tell from this angle.

Vision

I can't wait... [chuckles] ...to be a proud papa-ya.

Vision

Well, if that was the first kick, that puts you at about... six months! Boy, oh, boy, I thought I had superspeed. I can't keep up! [baby talk] Please don't misinterpret; I can't wait to meet you, little Billy.

Wanda Maximoff

"Billy"?

Vision

Yeah.

Wanda Maximoff

Well, I was thinking "Tommy". Just a nice, classic, all-American name.

Vision

Hmm, "Tommy". Hmm, yeah. Yeah. Then there's "Billy", isn't there? Named after William Shakespeare. "All the world's a stage. All the men and women merely players."

Wanda Maximoff

Well, I guess there's only one solution to this debate. Hope for a girl.

Vision

Well, we ought to decide soon. I estimate the baby's due... it's not a constant progression, assumingly logarithmic, but were I to graph the fetal development thus far...

Wanda Maximoff

He's gonna be here before you figure it out.

Wanda Maximoff

[trying to comfort a crying baby Tommy] Please, sweet Tommy, don't you wanna sleep? Mommy wants to sleep. If you go to sleep, I promise, you will be my favorite twin!

Vision

[coming down the stairs with a crying baby Billy] Oh, come on now, darling. You know we love them both equally.

Wanda Maximoff

Well, don't tell him that! [Vision chuckles] No luck with Billy?

Vision

Tried reading to him, but for some reason, Charles Darwin's The Descent of Man made him cry even harder.

Vision

I spoke with Norm.

Wanda Maximoff

...Oh?

Vision

I unearthed the man's suppressed personality and I spoke to him free of your oversight. He was in pain, Wanda.

Wanda Maximoff

Vision... [chuckles lightly] Listen, can we just--

Vision

What? Watch TV? Turn in for the night so you can change everything over again? No, Wanda. You can't control me the way you do them.

Wanda Maximoff

[meaningfully] ...Can't I? [walks out of the room as the credits start to roll] I'm going to bed!

Vision

No! We're not done here! [Wanda stops in her tracks] What is the Maximoff Anomaly?

Wanda Maximoff

The what?

Vision

I have to believe that this [gestures to the closing credits scrolling across the screen], whatever this is, was subconscious at first, and that you only recently became aware of it.

Wanda Maximoff

Aware of...what? [Wanda exits into the other room. Vision follows her, shifting back to his synthezoid form. The credits glitch out]

Vision

[angrily] Norm has a FAMILY, Wanda! He has a family and he can’t reach them because YOU WON'T LET HIM REACH THEM!

Wanda Maximoff

I don't know what you're talking about!

Vision

[levitates into the air] STOP LYING TO ME!!!

Wanda Maximoff

[levitates to match Vision] This! All of this is for us. So let me handle it!

Vision

[angered] What is outside of Westview?!

Wanda Maximoff

You don't want to know, I promise you!

Vision

YOU DON'T GET TO MAKE THAT CHOICE FOR ME, WANDA!

Wanda Maximoff

[distressed] You've never talked to me like this before! [lowers herself back to the floor]

Vision

Before what!? Before WHAT!? I can't remember my life before Westview! I don't know who I am! I'm scared!

Wanda Maximoff

[fighting back tears] You are my husband. You're Tommy and Billy's father. Isn't that enough? [Vision lowers himself to the floor, allowing Wanda to take his hands in hers]

Vision

[glances out the window] ...Wanda, why are there no other children in Westview?

Wanda Maximoff

[scoffs] Oh, god! There are! Just stop it!

Vision

No, no. The playground stands empty every morning I walk to work. Why? Tell me, why-

Wanda Maximoff

[exasperated] Do you really think that I am controlling everything?! That I-I am somehow in charge of everybody in Westview?! I'm walking their dogs, mowing their lawns, getting them to dentist appointments on time?! I mean, I...[scoffs]...I don't know how any of this started in the first place!

Vision

Wanda, what you're doing here, it's wrong.

Wanda Maximoff

I...

Vision

It is wrong. [the doorbell rings]

Wanda Maximoff

I didn't do that. I...[seeing his look] You don't believe me.

Vision

Wanda, I want to, but at this point, I'm ignoring statistics entirely.

Vision

Well, you have fun tonight, darling.

Wanda Maximoff

What? What do you mean? You're all dressed and ready to go.

Vision

I'm undercover. Halloween is a bacchanal for adolescent trouble-makers, and the neighborhood watch is the only thing standing between the trees and the toilet paper.

Am I dead?

Vision

[reassuringly] No, no. Why would you think that?

Because you are.

Vision

[confused] Because I'm what...?

Dead. Dead! Dead! Dead!

Vision

Agnes, it is my intention to reach those outside of Westview and make sense of our situation

[softly] How? No one leaves. Wanda won't even let us think about it. [starts chuckling] All is lost. [starts laughing maniacally]

Vision

Agnes... Agnes please calm down. Agnes! Please... [Agnes continues laughing maniacally]

Vision

I will fix this, Agnes. I promise.

Vision

So if I understand correctly, my original code dates back to an AI called J.A.R.V.I.S.. But my corporeal form was born of Ultron's plan for global genocide?

Darcy Lewis

Correct-o

Vision

What am I now?

Darcy Lewis

Honestly, I'm a STEM type of lady, so I thought she just flipped a switch on your head and brought you back to life, but... what I don't get is why you can't leave the Hex. [Vision's expression saddens] What I do know is I've been watching WandaVision for the past week, and the love you two have is real. You belong together.